Sedoka and Mondo, Japanese forms Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

Cinnamon colors
our lawn mixed with crimson leaves.
Do you see the same beauty?

even in Jersey
though later and with less flair
autumn leaves summer in bronze

deLightingly, Daniel  

Thanks Daniel!

I was hoping you'd respond with something just like this!

Cinnamon colors
our lawn mixed with crimson leaves.
Do you see the same beauty?

even in Jersey
though later and with less flair
autumn leaves summer in bronze

Lovely!
~Cleo  

[JustDaniel]

Thank you LorII... and excellent response, Grace!  By Jove, you've got it... at least as far as I'm concerned!

occidental Grace
reorients her thinking;
where will Cleo's asp bite next?

lookin' to de Light, Daniel  

[Cybele]

Arigato gozaimasu Daniel,  :dance:  :dance:


occidental Grace
reorients her thinking;
where will Cleo's asp bite next?

hither and slither
snakes alive!  My guess would be
the bosom of a new friend


(The asp that is ~ not Cleo )

Incidentally Daniel and Lori, I found this quote on www.baymoon.com

Mondo [Japanese "dialogue"].

A question and an answer, each in the form of a katauta. Each part is created by a different poet.

The Solo Mondo is a modern adaption in which the two parts are created by a single poet, who writes in a different voice for each part. A precursor to the sekoda.

Love

Grace

[JustDaniel]

Well now, I'll be damned!
remarked the first katauta.
Is that precurser enough?

I think so, Mr. Freshmouth;
you could have been more Grace-ous,
but I think she'll understand.

[Cybele]

Hi Daniel,    




Very comical. A new expression for me - Mr Freshmouth. I like it, and of course she understands. All's fair in love and poetry.  

Now for a solo Mondo

Birdbrain

garden birds dine here
leave a tip as thanks – and flee!
will they ever learn – it’s free?

fear not fair maiden
they’ll cease this nasty habit
when you teach a cow to waltz

Just going to paint a sign "Servis compris" for my friends!


Love

Grace

[JustDaniel]

I ain't never taked Lattin', Grace, but is that somethin' like "Keep yer tips!" ?

Here's a potential sign (inspired by yours, I suppose) for posting on a South Jersey beach... for mainlander visiters:

lookie here, Shoobie,
would we fowl up your towel
if you'd stop feedin' seagulls?

What message would I find scrawled on that sign from your Mondo hand, Grace?

sLightly apprehensive to find out, Daniel  

[Cybele]

Hi Daniel,

Yeh, sumpin like dat ( it means service charge included - French by the way )


lookie here, Shoobie,
would we fowl up your towel
if you'd stop feedin' seagulls?

Before I can answer I need to know - who or what is Shoobie????

Your turn for an explanation my friend.  

Love

Grace

[Guest_Jox_*]

Now, I'm not "going form"
but for Scots Quakers everywhere,
here's a Wee Winter Warmer.
Does it conform...
(Apart, maybe from subject matter)?

Oats & Hoast
by McOxenholme
Writing as MG.
[MG !-183 AA]

Do you see me glow?
I’ve had Reddy-Brek for tea
My inner-furnace BURNS hot

We’re jumping so much
Each oat generating fast
Inside his stomach we work.

Regards, James McOxenholme
Och aye, wots noo?
(Sorry Alan!)

©JO - because someone would really be keen to nick this one wouldn't they!

[JustDaniel]

I can't answer James, since I have no idea what he's talking about, wee American that I am.  My Scot/Irish/English blood must be thinnin'

But Grace,

now that's quite a lei
to greet us shoe-box bearers;
gulls share our sandwich

Lightly, Daniel

P.S.  Summer visitors would often bring all the things they'd need in a shoebox, thus not contributing to the shore economy, thus shoobies!

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Daniel,

Reddy Brek is a packaged form of Scot's porridge oats - mix with hot milk for porridge. They used to have a tv advert on with a glowing child (special effects) advertising the warming properties. But most people though the poor child had been too close to a nuclear power station.

Rabbie Burns is Scotland's national poet.

The verse was from two perspectives - that of the person eating the oats and that of the oats which had been eaten and we generating all that heat. Cheerio, J.

[Cybele]

Good morning James,

Good grief!  It's nearly time for the old Reddy Brek again isn't it? (Personally I prefer porage with coconut, sultanas, cinnamon and a tad of cream for my brekky!.) Apologies to the purists. take this with a pinch of salt

Do you see me glow?
I’ve had Reddy-Brek for tea
My inner-furnace BURNS hot

We’re jumping so much
Each oat generating fast
Inside his stomach we work.

Hadn't considered to oats answering James ~ but hey! why not?

Do you see me glow?
I’ve had Reddy-Brek for tea
My inner-furnace BURNS hot

glad I’m now grown up
wee neeps o’  Glenmorangie
have the same effect on me!

Lang may your lum reek laddie    

Love

Grace


P.S Translation :

Neeps are turnips in Scotland, Swedes in England.    What do you call them in America Daniel?

Glenmorangie (the Scots pronounce it to rhyme with "orangey") is a single Highland Malt Whisky.

[JustDaniel]

Lettuce see how next
our Scots will turnip green;
they won't wee on us will they?

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Grace -

Tremendous stuff! We're certainly sewing some wild oats this morning!

I love your booze-cruise into verse. I'm not a Scotch fan but my partner loves Talisker (smoked-peat flavour from the Isle of Skye).

I didn't understand your Neeps/Turnip and Swede note, Grace? They have never looked the same vegetable to me. Neeps/Turnips be pointy and Swedes be round, surely? (Different flavours, too)

Thanks for your inn-keeping reply.

Toodle Pip, James.

glad I’m now grown up
wee neeps o’  Glenmornagie
have the same effect on me!

tho' booze-cruise Skye-wards
for Peat's promised perfection.
Aqua vitae; bottoms-up!

Sorry about the punctuation - can't quite let it go. Also, please forgive the lines - cruising to Skye will never be the same again... especially using the bridge. What about "The Skye Blotto Song"? NB: Aqua Vitae the previously-used Latin name for Whisky. (Usquebaugh is the original Gaelic, which became abbreviated to Usky and, later, to Whisky. All these terms mean "Water of Life" in English)

[Cleo_Serapis]

!

This is great all! Keep up the exxcellent idea exchanges here!

Cheers!
~Cleo :pharoah2

[Guest_Jox_*]

Lettuce see how next
our Scots will turnip green;
they won't wee on us will they?

Leaders of VegTown
shalt decree: no residents
upon Daniel may pea.

[JustDaniel]

Jamie, why hast thou
strung up but(five)six syllables
[ OOPS! Sorry, James! ]
in thy tidy wee pea patch?

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Daniel.

I always have problems with syllables - I seem to pronounce things differently to others.

For me, and probably no-one else, this reads as follows:

Lea-ders of Veg-Town (5)
shalt de-cree: no res-id-ents (7)
up-on Dan-ie-l may pea.(7)

(Actually I pronounce "Daniel" as "Dan-E-L") - was that one of them?
Which words are different?

Cheers, J-Ames.

[Cybele]

Back again Daniel  

lookie here, Shoobie,
would we fowl up your towel
if you'd stop feedin' seagulls?

'If you stopped feeding seagulls' Daniel??

What on earth do you do to their towels?

Can’t answer this.  Seems to be a bone of contention between visitors and natives.

Love

Grace

[Cybele]

Hi-di hi friends,  :upside:

Er Daniel says five, James says 7 and I count only 6

up on Dan iel may pea.

Hey but whose splitting peas

Now where had we got to -I've forgotten  :speechless:  :wall:

Ah yes!  We stand in need of a new katauta question for the first part of the mondo.

(Gosh! Doesn't that make me sound intelligent??  :rofl: )

What about a serious one for a change? Any vounteers?

Love

Grace

[JustDaniel]

Don't Pooh-Phoh Admonition

lookie here, Shoobie,
would we fowl up your towel
if you stopped feedin' seagulls?

wouldn't give a poo
if you'd just let 'em alone;
they drop in on us enough


... and a more serious one?  

this side of the Pond,
which one of the candidates
will end up with a long face?


... or an even more seriously serious one?  

Is it possible
for critique to morph a piece...
to new, broader perspective?