And Still You Dream, ODIN II ~ Merit Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

Congratulations on your Merit placement!

You have risen up, drank from the Well of Wisdom and have been crowned the ‘bringer of victory’!

Well done!
:pharoah2

[Cyn]

And Still You Dream

I. One Single Second

You took the news, but not too well
- the pain was more than pain –

errant cells,  
amassed to war  
on that which no man owns.

And through the veil  
of vague white-coated comfort,
inescapable and grim and dead ahead,

the sureness of your carnage-littered future,  
           hit you,
like a wayward semi-truck

that an instant before impact
you had chanced to glance and see  

And  in      that         single           second    

you knew  
what had been lost.

Amidst the awful wreckage lay  
your once small, tidy life,  
your perfect plans; all twisted,  
wheels spinning,  
in mid air


II. The Child You Never Held

If you start the chemo now,  
he said, we have a chance to beat it,  
but if you don’t, I’m sorry,
it’s growing much too fast.

We?, you thought, Which we is that?
Is that he and I?
Or is it me and the child I bear?
(who surely can’t survive)

He paled then; grasped the starkness  
of the choices he had given,
and left the room so you could weep

full fury
self pity.

Save yourself or save your child.

My God what choice is that?  
And then how do you reconcile  
the sum of that account?
You don’t, you can’t.

You bury it
with the child you never held.


III One for the other

The doctor had no smile for you,  
no empty empathy,
although you did not blame him,

his task was ghastly, grim.  
A tiny heartbeat, strong and sound,  
he was charged to still,

one life for the other.

And no one had the power  
to alter what would come,
on this path we all were traveling,

to take a few steps back  
to chance to change the way.

Mother, there to hold you,  
stroked your hair and kissed your face,  
begged you to remember; floating on the bay,  

granite islands strong around you,
to ground you, keep you whole.  
She bid the wind to scour you,  
and absolved you with her tears,

while the needle sought it’s target,  
through amniotic sea,  
where hope once floated, innocent,  
among its island dreams.


IV. You Still Dream  

And still you dream of black winged  birds  
whose feathers loft in fearsome flight,

but keep them close,  
don’t let them go.

You’re still, and dream: unwanted calls  
and unborn babes in bottle jars,
forgotten promise…
   
…long awaited  
  but not kept.

No dream can sift  
through your appalling options,

offered, and then
     
clutched
    in panicked pain.

No dream prepares you,  
or can save you,
keep you  
     unbroken

in pursuit of salvaged self.

Innocence; whose fault to blame
It doesn’t matter….  
Either way,

you dream.

Still, you dream
but do not tell.

Even now,  
while balanced on reflection’s edge,
you harbor ravens in your breast

and cannot speak  

for fear of losing  
those that flutter blackly
to escape.

© Cynthia Neely

[Cleo_Serapis]

Thank you for your entry into Odin's Opposition!  :troy:

Perhaps you’ll rise up, drink from the Well of Wisdom and be crowned the ‘bringer of victory’?

Best of luck in the battle!  :vic:

~Mosaic Musings Staff

[Morgan le Fay]

Hi Cynthia!

Congratulations on your award!  

Wow, what a powerful piece!  The emotion it conveys grabs and squeezes the heart of this reader, leaving me breathless and full of sorrow for the choices that had to be made.  

I very much enjoyed the way you seperated your thoughts throughout this work.  1, 11, 111, 1V, as if compartmentalizing the steps that your mind went through when dealing with the shock of the news, and then going on to cope and deal with such tragedy and mental anguish.  An anguish that never goes away, but hopefuly is softened over time.

I really enjoyed this piece although it did make me cry, but cry with tears of understanding and empathy, and admiration for those who cope with tragedy such as this, and come out the other side whole, and strong.

This is a wonderful and beautiful piece Cynthia.  Thank you so much for penning it and sharing it with us.  

Love ya,
Chris  

[Guest_Cathy_*]

Congratulations Cyn!

This is such an emotional piece, raw and powerful!  You can't read it without feeling a tug on your heartstrings.

Cathy  :rose:  :rose:

[Cyn]

Thnaks Chris and Cat
There were indeed some great entries. I feel honored to be among the recipients of these awards

[Psyche]

Hi Cyn !  :lovie:

Well, this comes as no surprise for me, since I already picked it out for Choice Nom for January !!

Very special sort of poem, not to be classified, a unique piece and brilliant.


Congrats, Cyn !

Hugs,
Sylvia  :cheer: