A Strange Critter, a blank stare sonnet Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

This is very good Daniel!

What a creative way to 'physicalize' (I made that up) ???  a "crit"! No more tears, my friend!

You're on a roll!
Hugs!
~Cleo :)

[JustDaniel]

If I'm on a roll...

I must be a hot dog?

Lightly, Daniel  :dance:

[Guest_Tao_*]

Hi Daniel,

There's that renegade hot dog again! One question: is there a reason why it's your 10-month pet?

I would offer abundant insights and suggestions, but I'm experiencing critter's block at the moment. :D

David

[JustDaniel]

A Strange Critter
a blank stare sonnet

Today my Critter glazed as if to say
he simply couldn’t limn a single word.
To show I understood, I’d pat his head,
I thought; he moved away beyond my reach.

Withdrawing hand, I felt a single tear
come coursing down my nose.  “Splot” on the floor.
As if he heard, his eyes caught mine again
and purred a bit, I think, then looked away.

I tried again to soothe my 10-month pet,
but every move I made drove him away.
Why does he treat me so?  How can we share
my thoughts and insights, dreams.  He is my friend!

With him I want to give what I’ve received.
Be patient, fellow poets.  Crit’s estranged.

© Daniel J Ricketts 13 Oct 2002

P.S.  There are three layers in this poem, but the most important is that I was then, as now, experiencing something similar to writer’s block –except that it’s what those who attempt to critique, experience:  Critter’s Block! I'm open to revision, for any who my wish to help.

[Guest_Tao_*]

Hi Daniel,

Wow, 175 sonnets! Thanks for the explanation. Control the 10-month pet? What for? Someone of your style, substance and humorous wit, let it all hang out! We can take it.

David

[JustDaniel]

"10-month pet"  You'll note that I'd written this in October of 2002.  I'd joined Poem Kingdom's Port Haven in January of that year and started writing 'seriously' (and therefore humorously) for the first time in my life, and in fact I understood what a sonnet was for the very first time in March of that year -- about 175 sonnets ago.  So writing and specifically critiquing was at that time a 10-month-old 'pet' whom I'd not gotten to know very well -- and whom I still haven't been able to 'control.'

Does that help, David?

deLightedly, Daniel  :sun:

[Guest_Tao_*]

Hey Daniel,

Thought I'd come back and add a word. Haven't seen the word desperate associated with reading speed before. Rest assured, I'm no graduate of the Evalyn Woods school. I'm sure quite a few 7th graders can best me too!

limping lightly, David

[JustDaniel]

It only becomes desperate for me when I want to add my crit to someone who's been critiqued by 8 or 10 others who go on and on in their detailed explanations and I get lost in my dyslexia and filled with frustration and a sense of inadequacy... and literally give up... coming back again with determination only to be dashed again by the same feelings, often completely leaving the whole forum or even site... feeling defeated.

Is that desperate enough for you?

not so Lightly, Daniel  :sun:

[Guest_Tao_*]

Well, Daniel,

That does sound serious...and possibly desperate. Mustn't feel that way...unless you're paying for your Internet connection by the minute, or that other urgent biological functions await!

To improve future encounters, may I suggest:

1. Don't jump into a thread with many replies already.

2. Even if you do, ignore others' replies, read the piece and feedback - done!
You're starting a direct and seperate, not desperate, conversation with the author.

In the words of the Rolling Stones: You can't always get what you want! And if you'd like more regarding analysis, check out the brief exchange between me and Brahms in my Aloha Hawaii posting in Stonehenge, at thread's end. I kind of liked it. :)

speaking lightly, David

[JustDaniel]

Hi Daniel,

Wow, 175 sonnets! Thanks for the explanation. Control the 10-month pet? What for? Someone of your style, substance and humorous wit, let it all hang out! We can take it.

David

Well, I'm afraid that I used the wrong word with "control" alas...

the real issue is that I'm a desperately slow reader.  I won't bore you with the details; suffice it to say that each of my children could 'outread' me by around the 7th grade... or earlier.  It's simply a time-consuming chore, no matter how wonderful the reading matter.

lilting, but limping sLightly, Daniel  :dance:

[Guest_Don_*]

Hi Just Daniel,

Your sonnet is very smooth.

A very nice pet you have Dan.  May it be assumed each of you sort-of feeds the other?

Your levity is a laudable attribute.  As you know, there are too many extant worrysome lines.

Don  

[heartsong7]

Daniel...I really enjoyed this delightful sonnet to a strange critter. I've met  one or two of those fellows in my travels.  
I also found the comments in this thread very interesting and enjoyable. I too, started writing fairly recently...Oct of 2002 to be exact. It's an enjoyable hobby most of the time, except when the muse wakes me in the middle of the night and won't let me sleep until I write what she dictates...She's the inspiration...I'm her critter. Then I have to pass it on to someone who knows more than she or I to help us add some polish  
You have a great wit and good ear...which makes for some fine reading.
Thank you for sharing your poetry and your guidance.

Sue