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Survival** (used to be My Shell**), Tweaked |
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Jul 18 16, 16:14
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Ornate Oracle
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 8,875
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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My mother-of-pearl shell is greatly admired. It’s hard. No drafts get in. Not even the occasional grain of sand blown in from the sea. I built it up over the years, like a shipbuilder labouring in his shipyard. I used to worry about leakages, those childhood dreams turning their ghostly grins to me at midnight with a scream. The moon sailed by my window, saluting the stars, unaware of my night terrors.
Sometimes, I used to wet my bed. “She’s a bed-wetter”, said my Aunt, in front of my cousins. So I laid on more mother-of-pearl. My skin resented it, turned flaky, then both cheeks froze like a doll’s. I was afraid my cousins would chisel the lacquer to peep inside while I dozed. But that’s done with now. I sleep on...a petrified mollusc, unaware of sea changes.
By Psyche. All rights reserved as a published work. Bariloche, Argentina. 2016
Note: Changed title to "Survival" L1 is now "shell" instead of "coat". S2, L8 now "lacquer" instead of "nacre".
Thank you, Antony!
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Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner
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Jul 22 16, 12:20
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 256
Joined: 2-November 15
From: Croydon, Surrey
Member No.: 5,284
Real Name: Antony Glaser
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Eira Rhaposdy
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Interesting confessional poem. The hardened lacquer feel to the poem maybe a tad unkind to the poet herself. Survival analysed abstractly. Shell rather than coat methinks in line 1
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Imagination fires the soul, resolution the longing.
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Jul 24 16, 23:11
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Ornate Oracle
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 8,875
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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Thank you, Antony, You're spot on, the poem is highly unkind to the poet herself. And yes, about survival.
I'll see about shell rather than coat in L1. Trouble is, it's too near the title. I'll have to think about that.
Syl
QUOTE (greenwich @ Jul 22 16, 14:20 ) Interesting confessional poem. The hardened lacquer feel to the poem maybe a tad unkind to the poet herself. Survival analysed abstractly. Shell rather than coat methinks in line 1
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Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner
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Jul 25 16, 13:39
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 256
Joined: 2-November 15
From: Croydon, Surrey
Member No.: 5,284
Real Name: Antony Glaser
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Eira Rhaposdy
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Simple change the title, make it more abstract, incidental to reflect the poet's state of mind
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Imagination fires the soul, resolution the longing.
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Jul 29 16, 03:01
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Ornate Oracle
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 8,875
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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I did exactly that, Antony. Plus two other tweaks, thanks to you!
Where is everybody? Is there some other website you can recommend that's not so lonely? Do you know anything about the whereabouts of the poets who came in with you, thanks to Eira's invitation? I'm not abandoning MM, but would like to have some recommendations about sites that are more lively. Syl
QUOTE (greenwich @ Jul 25 16, 15:39 ) Simple change the title, make it more abstract, incidental to reflect the poet's state of mind
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Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner
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Jul 29 16, 11:58
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 256
Joined: 2-November 15
From: Croydon, Surrey
Member No.: 5,284
Real Name: Antony Glaser
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Eira Rhaposdy
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Agreed it's a shame the site has lessened in its activity. Where the poets are no one knows? Great poem too
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Imagination fires the soul, resolution the longing.
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Aug 8 16, 03:21
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Ornate Oracle
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 8,875
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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I thought you might know where they've all flocked to! You joined MM along with the others. Perhaps I'll send PM's to them, when I have time. Just say "Hi, where are you?" LOL...
I hope you mean my poem is great? If so, tx!
Syl
QUOTE (greenwich @ Jul 29 16, 13:58 ) Agreed it's a shame the site has lessened in its activity. Where the poets are no one knows? Great poem too
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Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner
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Sep 10 16, 23:12
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Ornate Oracle
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 8,875
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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Hi weaver,
Ah, well, one has to enjoy the summer sun... just hide in it, I'm sure it's possible! Glad you're back. Some others are back in Herme's, so my guess is that when the cold sets in, there will be more activity.
As I live in the S.H., we're into Spring now, perhaps facing a hot summer with droughts. Hope to get away somewhere, I prefer cool places.
But you'll be here, with your muse scratching at your door... haha!!
Yes, that´s exactly what my poem is about. It's pretty transparent, so I believe many can relate to it. I think we all build up some sort of metaphorical shell to hide our hurts within. But there are many ways to spread the lacquer over oneself, I think that part is individual.
Tx for your comment, Syl
QUOTE (weaver @ Sep 4 16, 16:39 ) Hi Psyche You're right where did all the poets go? Myself, I've been hiding in the summer sun if that's possible haha! Sort of an irony to that sentence. I wasn't writing much over the summer but now that autumn is here and I'm driven inside a bit more it's already starting to scratch at my door.
I like this line of self-defence you've written about here, the lacquer and the hard shell disguising a soft centre where the hurt no longer is allowed to penetrate. I think we can all relate to this one!
Cheers W
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Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner
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Nov 23 16, 15:24
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 250
Joined: 1-November 15
Member No.: 5,282
Real Name: richard chase
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Rhapsody
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Syl, Good extended metaphor, but, it's got to be abolut sdomeone else. R
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Nov 28 16, 17:06
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Ornate Oracle
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 8,875
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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Hi Richard, Thanks a lot. But why does it have to be about someone else?
In reality, using first person can be understood as particular or universal, so maybe some people can relate to it.
Best, Syl
QUOTE (RC James @ Nov 23 16, 17:24 ) Syl, Good extended metaphor, but, it's got to be abolut sdomeone else. R
······· ·······
Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner
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Dec 7 16, 17:58
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Mosaic Master
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 4,599
Joined: 4-August 03
From: Birmingham, England
Member No.: 12
Real Name: Eira Needham
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Hi Syl,
I like all the changes you have made to this. It is very well written and lots of lines to like.
The moon sailed by my window, saluting the stars,
I sleep on...a petrified mollusc, unaware of sea changes.
These images are my favourites.
Hugs Eira
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Dec 19 16, 00:45
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Ornate Oracle
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 8,875
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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Thanks so much, Eira, for your encouraging comments. And SO glad to have you back again. Hope your new laptop works well for years!
My muse has left me recently, probably due to the upcoming festivities. As the years pass, there are so many empty spaces at the dining-table. They just pile up... and less dishes to wash!
I hope you post more poems soon. I still have some oldies and maybe some unfinished new pieces to bring here. I visited The Waters recently, but didn't post anything.
Bedtime now, take care and hope to see you soon. Syl
QUOTE (Eisa @ Dec 7 16, 19:58 ) Hi Syl,
I like all the changes you have made to this. It is very well written and lots of lines to like.
The moon sailed by my window, saluting the stars,
I sleep on...a petrified mollusc, unaware of sea changes.
These images are my favourites.
Hugs Eira [/b]
······· ·······
Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner
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Dec 19 16, 00:55
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Ornate Oracle
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 8,875
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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Hi mt2, Thank you. Good question. I suppose we flow from one state of mind to another, so the "shell" may not be writ on stone. On the other hand, some people's harsh childhood, or else devastating life experiences, might very well turn us into impenetrable personalities as a form of survival. Just sayin'... Thanks for commenting and hope to see more of your lovely creations. Syl
QUOTE (mt2polar @ Dec 13 16, 16:20 ) Psyche,
You use the metaphor perfectly. As I finished reading it, the pearl expanded for me. If it is our imperfections that create it why do we not see the beauty in them as well?
mt
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Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner
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