Shadows and Light, The Ferryman Options

[Charon]

I wrote this some time back when Cleo had challenged us to write a poem about our pseudonym.  For some reason I never posted it, or if I did, I don't see it anywhere, therefore I do so now.  For the fun of it.

Charon - I am the bridge

Light
Radiant beams blight my robe red with fire.
Agony kindles my soul.
Promises of tomorrow and what may be.
Free to desire enchantment.
Winged flight of glory.
Fingers reach for life.
Seek me not.
Board my craft for expectations.
A coin.
I must return.

Dark
Despondent shades anoint my oar black with ice.
Misery subdues my soul.
Shades of what were and can never be.
Trapped to dwell in horror.
Drifting seeping of foulness.
Claws release the ruin.
Leave me be.
Depart my vessel for obscurity.
A token.
I must return.

Posted as an unpublished work.
Emerson Sollars - September 2004

For those of you unaware as to who Charon is, he is known as the ferryman.  The fellow who receives the coins left on the eyes of the dead so many eons ago.  Many a hero had to wrestle with Charon to return from the island of shades.  I've always wondered if he had any form of heart.

Charon

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Emerson

I enjoyed reading this poem.  I'm glad you finally posted it.  I loved the way you compared the light and dark (heaven and hell).

Agony kindles my soul. this is a wonderful line as is

Shades of what were and can never be.
Trapped to dwell in horror.
Drifting seeping of foulness.

I am glad you put an explanation at the bottom as I had never heard of Charon.  My only question is what is the significance of the token?

Nina

[Guest__*]

Dear Butch,

Interesting words. You've end-stopped almost all lines - is there a reason for this. Seemed to read more as a series of flat statements than a poem. I'm sure some mods to the punct would help this flow more. What do you think ?

Love
Alan

[Charon]

Thanks Nina for dropping by and especially for writing.  

Charon required a token before he would permit the shade to pass on to Hades.  If the shade did not have a token, the shade would drift forever in that in between space.  In the olden days, even as recent as the 19th century, corpses were buried with coins on their eyes, so they could pay Charon his dues.  In ancient times, the coin (obolus) was placed under the tongue.

He was the child of Erebus (Darkness) and Nyx (Night), and had two syblings - Aether (bright upper atmosphere) and Memera (Day).  His grandfather was Choas (Time).  Although some of the ancients identify Eros (Cupid) as his sybling as well.

The word carrion comes from his name, and is how the name is pronounced.  Today most people know his and his shape as the grim reaper.  If ever you see the movie - Clash of the Titans - they probably had the best Charon - ever.  Some of the ancient writers picture him as a skeleton, others, a decayed form of human.  But in most he has the nose of a vulture, pointed ears, and wings. (Sound familiar)  In almost all cases he is large, even larger than the heroes of Greek and Roman days.

If you arrived still alive and rang his bell, he would strike you dead with his ever present hammer.  Thus many stories of how the Greek heroes and such wrestled with him, in order for them to cross the river Styx.

Probably more than you wanted to know.  But it might help explain further.

Charon  :ghostface:

[Charon]

Alan,

How's it going, thanks for stopping and commenting.  

I end-stopped because at first I wrote it with every other line being dark then light, then dark then light.  As if you were on the ferry moving back and forth across the River Styx.  Then I decided to group them all together and did not alter the end-stops.

Your thoughts?

Charon  :ghostface:

[Guest__*]

Dear Butch,

Aha, I see.

OK - here is what I think on only a quick run-thru :

Charon - I am the bridge

Light :
Radiant beams blight my robe red with fire,
agony kindles my soul,
promises of tomorrow and what may be.
Free to desire enchantment,
winged flight of glory,
fingers reach for life.
Seek me not,
board my craft for expectations -
a coin -
I must return.

Dark :
Despondent shades anoint my oar, black with ice,
misery subdues my soul.
Shades of what were and can never be,
trapped to dwell in horror,
drifting seeping of foulness,
claws release the ruin.
Leave me be,
depart my vessel for obscurity.
A token -
I must return.

Now, as I rereas, it seems to have more of a flow, to be linked in grouped statements, and I feel quite chilled by what I see revealed before me .... brrrrr

I don't know if you tend to CAP the start of each line, but I feel this one needs caps only where there IS a sentence start.

Btw I think the title should be singular "Shadow" !

Hope this has been of some help ....

Love
Alan

[Cybele]

Good morning Butch,

A dark tale, well told. I have only two small points to raise.


Radiant beams blight my robe red with fire

Blight seems a strange word to use here, maybe tinge or imbue ?

drifting seeping of foulness,

comma after drifting ?

This story terrified me as a child Butch, and you have encapsulated that same terror here, an excellent feat.  

[Guest_JohnK_*]

Charon,

I enjoyed this poem very much, as I also have an interest in Classical mythology (as you may already know).  I like the juxtaposition of the light and dark imagery especially.

Just a couple of suggestions:

Radiant beams blight my robe red with fire

The use of the word "blight" is excellent.  I was going to suggest dropping "red", but then it doesn't contrast so well with the companion line.  However, arguably "radiant" and "fire" contrast with "black".  So perhaps:

Radiant beams blight my robe with fire

With:

Despondent shades blacken my oar with ice

Just an idea.

Promises of tomorrow and what may be

Perhaps you could drop "and what may be" altogether, as "promises of tomorrow" speaks of hopes for the future already.

Drifting seeping of foulness

How about changing it to "seep"?  I realise you lose the almost bell-like quality of the two "-ings", but you gain the contrast of the sound of "seep" with the softer start and the end of the line.

Just suggestions.  Feel free to entirely ignore  :)

Thanks again, and I hope this helps.

Regards,

John

[Siren]

Butch,

It's refreshing to read a great verse and this is so. This has strength within it. I'm glad you shared the results of the challenge here.

Daniah

[Ephiny]

Hello Butch,

I've always loved the image of the ferryman so this was a real pleasure to read.  And in this poem, you describe him beautifully..he definately does seem to have a heart here..there's so many depths to this and I like the way you used the words "dark and light".

I love this part

Winged flight of glory.
Fingers reach for life.
Seek me not.
Board my craft for expectations.
A coin.
I must return.

I really enjoyed this

[Eisa]

Hi Butch

Well I'm glad you finally posted this excellent poem as I have thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

Only one tiny nit -- the 2 `ing' words together, `drifting,seeping' don't sound quite right.

Wonderful read

Snow