Hi Heart Song,
Wow! I the more I got into it this, the more I decided I really loved it.
The repetition added a lot to the drama.
The only thing I want to bring up is the end line...
I think most people pronounce "suffering" like it has 2 syllables,
so you might consider changing it to this?
The end of suffering is in sight.
(even though it's technically wrong)
It's kind of a tough call, but I would lean toward
the way we naturally manipulate the words in our "real speach."
But you may not agree, but I just had to bring it up for consideration
Karen
QUOTE (heartsong7 @ Sep 16 10, 15:21 )
Set Free
The road is dark; the sky is bleak;
her loved ones killed or gone.
The rebels steal the wealth they seek,
then rape and hurry on.
Now all is lost, she has no will,
though help lies just beyond the hill.
Now all is lost,
now all is lost;
her baby boy lies cold and still.
The road is dark; the sky is bleak;
her husband left them all
He ran away, afraid and meek;
she saw him trip and fall.
They took his head and left him there
to rot where not a soul would care.
They took his head,
they took his head;
she saw its empty, icy stare.
The road is dark; the sky is bleak;
her journey’s burden great.
Her arms grow tired; her body weak.
She can no longer wait.
She’s going home, right now tonight
beyond the brilliant pulsing light,
she’s going home.
She’s going home,
the end of suffering's in sight.