Through this Dark Night :alert: Options

[Cyn]

Through this Dark Night

Have you passed
through this dark night?
Do you know
what comes?

It cannot be forestalled.

Holy water
may wash you clean,
yet you are not cleansed.

How did you lose
the good that you were given;
let it slip away,
scattered, careless?

Months like hours,
years like days;
time does not keep pace
with your moment here on earth.

Your tasks are unfulfilled,
and you too soon forget
all that you have failed in,

that which you do not change.

What fortunes have you wreaked
on those you have not cared for,
could perhaps have saved,
as you walked by,
refused to see?

How do you plan
to reach the other side;
those fresh shores,
unsullied by your past?

© Cynthia Neely

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Cyn

An interesting read though perhaps hoping to be unsullied by the past when we die is like trying to achieve perfection - impossible.  To try our best is the most we can do.

Nina

[Siren]

Cyn,

Hi! I love the simplicity of this. The message is clear.

I do believe that we can't go through life just living it for ourselves and this is what I got from this poem. Interacting with the world around us, caring, sharing, and giving will be rewarded.

One of the main laws of Islam is your intentions. No matter how much good you do, if your heart and belief isn't in it, it wont be rewarded. Kind of like not taking someone at face value, what's inside is what's important for absolvement.

I have no nits for this, but will be back for another read just to make sure. :)

Enjoyed this

Dani

[Cyn]

Thanks Nina and Dani, for reading. Yes a simple message hopefully simply told.
Cyn

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Cyn.

It's a wonder those sorts even go to the other side (if they never change to the good, that is) ? An interesting poem that leaves us to really think about the way we live and what actions we take.

Enjoyed!
Cleo  :pharoah:

[+] {-}

Through this Dark Night Might I suggest deleting the word ‘Through’ in the title and capitalizing ‘This’ ?

Have you passed
through this dark night?
Do you know
what comes?

It cannot be forestalled.  You could perhaps italicize this line to make it stand out even further?

Holy water
may wash you clean,
yet you are not cleansed.

How did you lose
the good that you were given;
let it slip away,
scattered, careless?

Months like hours,
years like days;
time does not keep pace
with your moment[s] here on earth.

Your tasks {are} [go] unfulfilled,
and you too soon forget
all {that you have failed in} [your failures],

that which you do not change.

What {fortunes} [adversities or tribulations] have you {wreaked} [inflicted]  I’m not clear that you want to use the word fortunes, as to me it symbolizes ‘luck, wealth’?
on those you have not cared for,
could perhaps have saved,
as you walked by,
refused to see?

How do you plan
to reach the other side;
those fresh shores,
unsullied by your past?

[Cyn]

Hi Lori
I was after the dichotomy of fortune, yes it is often meant as wealth but that is not it's literal translation. And even so, is not fortune the root of all evil? Anyway, I do WANT y'all to stop and think there with fortune and wreak being so seemingly distant.
But perhaps it is too much. So I will mull it

Also I really do want to say moment (blink of an eye)

Thanks very much for reading
Cyn

[Cleo_Serapis]

I see what you mean now Cyn. Fortune works for me. :D

Glad you cleared that up for this cobwebbed brain o' mine...

:p