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> Kisses from the Hearth, Sonnet from another site's pictorial challenge
Larry
post Oct 30 14, 09:23
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I belong to a few poetry sites and saw a pictorial challenge of an animated fireplace (much too late to participate).
One couldn't mention fire or flame in the poem/prose answer but the muse hit me and this is what I got from the challenge:

First Revision - Thanks Lori


Kisses from The Hearth

Awakening with just a breath of air,
her resurrection from a dreamless sleep
is slow and subtle. Arms reach out to share
a warm embrace which, hopefully, will keep
you near her crimson lips. Soft amber eyes
will tease you with a quick flirtatious wink,
then fluttering they strive to hypnotize.
That sinuous ballet will make you think
of some exotic dancer from the east...
a cunning ploy devised to lure you near.
She’s nothing but a monster and a beast
you feed or cage because of primal fear.
Those fleeting visions fade within your head;
for titillating tongues will leave you dead.



L7 did read: Curvaceous dance, with limbs that make you think
L9: Changed "goddess" to "dancer"
L10 did read: is nothing but a ploy to lure you near.



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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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jerryk
post Oct 30 14, 11:38
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I like this write very much, Larry.
Maybe I'm too much into the spirit of upcoming Halloween, but I feel the supernatural radiating from your fireplace. There's something about making a fire and watching it grow that had always mesmerized mankind. My saddle club cronies plan on building a big bonfire in the desert. But we won't douse it with beer; that's reserved for us guys. No critic from me, my friend. Kisses from the hearth is a wonderful title, and to liken the flame to an enticing woman rings my chime.
Wishing you a great Halloween,
Jerry
 
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Larry
post Oct 30 14, 17:25
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Jerry,

Thanks for the visit and the nice words. I always loved a nice fire in the fireplace or (especially) in the great
out of doors while camping, fishing or just having a weenie/marshmallow roast.

Enjoy your holiday and I'm glad your prior note about "quitting" was merely exasperation because of your malady.

Larry


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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Psyche
post Nov 7 14, 16:00
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Hi Larry,

I too sense a Halloween-ish wicked, female power emanating from your fireplace. Some super-natural forces in those flames you were not allowed to mention. Juggle.gif

Hearths certainly hypnotize. As a child, I'd sit in front of ours and dream up fantasies whilst watching the changing red coals or fire. Same with campfires...

Certainly fits in with Halloween, whatever sort of beast or monster needs to be caged! ghostface.gif

Glad I stepped in here. Wish more members would show up. butterfly.gif

Cheers, Syl***



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"There is no life higher than the grasstops
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Larry
post Nov 7 14, 17:17
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Hi Syl,

Glad you dropped in for a read and comment. I, too, wish more people would come to visit or post or ?????.

Didn't mean for this to be Halloween-ish; just a feeling I always get when staring into a fireplace or campfire.
The flames seem to dance and move and "off I go" into never-never land.

Thanks and I'm happy my poem gave you the same feelings I have.

Larry


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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Cleo_Serapis
post Nov 10 14, 08:14
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Hi Larry, wave.gif

How are you? I always enjoy reading your poetry and your title selections definitely draw me in! pinkpanther.gif
Oh, I love the ending - not what I expected! There are just few lines I noted for your review below.

Curvaceous dance, with limbs that make you think --> I wonder if you'd consider a replacement for the word limbs? Perhaps moves?
of some exotic goddess from the east,
is nothing but a ploy to lure you near.
--> I wonder if there is a sub for the words 'is' and 'nothing (since using it again later)'? Maybe 'It's only just a ploy to lure you near'?

She’s nothing but a monster and a beast
you feed or cage because of primal fear.

Nice!!!!

Enjoyed the read Larry!

Cheers,
~Cleo galadriel.gif


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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Larry
post Nov 11 14, 00:14
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Hi Lori,

I'm doing fine but am very busy with our crafts. This is our busiest time of the year so we work hard to replace
what we have sold the prior week.

Your suggestions did cause me to think about redundancy and word usage so I did a couple of changes which I
hope you will like.

Larry


·······IPB·······

When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

MM Award Winner
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Nov 11 14, 13:46
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Hi Larry, wave.gif

I am beyond busy myself - I wish you well with your crafts! Artist.gif

I am debating whether to post the holiday contest this year since the forum is less active these days.

I do like all three changes and love it! pharoah2.gif

Well done! nicerev.gif

~Cleo galadriel.gif


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Larry
post Nov 11 14, 20:06
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Hi Lori,

Glad you liked the changes. It's doubtful I'll receive any more critiques due to the extreme lax attendance
in these forums.

I'd say forget about the holiday contest. If there are more than three entries, I'd be surprised. I'm working
on a sonnet now that I was going to post in the next few day about the fall season and its gaudy display of
leafs changing colors. Working out a few kinks in the format and rhyme scheme but I'll get there eventually.

Larry


·······IPB·······

When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

MM Award Winner
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Nov 12 14, 07:44
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Hi Larry, wave.gif

I look forward to reading your newest sonnet! I am working on one too. wub.gif

Cheers,
~Cleo


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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JustDaniel
post Nov 12 14, 14:47
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I cannot comment, 'cause my tongue was burnt
from touching yours. You'd think I woulda learnt!

Lightly, Daniel sun.gif


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Slow down; things will go faster!

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Cleo_Serapis
post Nov 17 14, 15:16
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LOL kiss.gif


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Arnfinn
post Apr 29 15, 07:46
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G'day Larry, old mate.

Long time since I metre.

There is plenty of fire in the woman and plenty of woman in the fire.

As you politely muse.

Regards,

John


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Arnfinn

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!

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