Northerners down South (UK) ** Options

[greenwich]

You pick up the odd Northern phrase,
here and there.
Tea for supper,
Pet as a diminutive.
But on hearing the remorselessness of
Joy Division on their MP3's,
you sense they desperately want Manchester rain;
ghosting like a lost dance.

On the train to Streatham Hill
they've magically picked up an old alumni
maybe from Leeds University
usually a beany boy with black hair.
He is beginning to outgrow them
surfeit with the London scene.
Of course they are oblivious to this.

There's something spectral
seeing a brassy Blonde
command an unrealised line of compatriots.
Before you can say anything
your head quickly guesses their job-
inner city teacher or mental health nurse.
The patience of Saints
but also weaving a wand of power.
Northern migrants,
inescapably instinctual

[Psyche]

Hi Antony,

I don't live in England (although I'm a British citizen...or E.U. citizen until the referendum results come in), but I'm greatly attracted to your poem. It's full of interesting details about Northerners down South, as your title indicates.
I love L8 of S1., 'ghosting like a lost dance'.

As I had never heard of Joy Division, I found the group on Utube and posted the link below, hope you don't mind. Perhaps it'll be useful for others, as well. You have given the reader plenty of tips about northerners!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuuObGsB0No...LJM&index=2

'He is beginning to outgrow them <<<<<A comma here?
surfeit with the London scene.'

Good. I also like the alliteration in the previous line. I understand the northerners, in general, don't overindulge themselves with the London scene, that's why they're oblivious to their old alumni having done so.
I'm learning a lot here!

I'm not sure about S3. I like your use of Caps for Blonde and Saints. Original. But I'm not sure who's who in this stanza.
Are they learning to be inner city teachers or mental health nurses? Not sure what 'their' refers to, because there appears to be only one brassy Blonde. Could you explain? I'm dim about this...

Altogether an interesting piece. Well done.

Syl

[greenwich]

Thank you for your review. This comes from a selection of memories. Possibly the focus was on generalizations but I recall my sister having a Leeds friend with blonde hair and her characteristics were sourced.

MORE MYSTERIES

There's something spectral
seeing a brassy Northern hen
acclimatising herself to the new arrivals.
Before you can say anything
your head quickly guesses their job-
inner city teacher or mental health nurse.
The patience of saints
possessing the lost arts
such as water dowsing.
Northern migrants,
inescapably instinctual

[Psyche]

Hi Antony,

Thank you for your reply and about your sister's friend with blonde hair. Interesting source!

Do you mean to change the last stanza, as you've re-written it below?

I miss the brassy Blond! It's clearer now, but I prefer most of the original stanza 3. You'd only have to change L3 of S3.
I also notice that in the original S3 you've put 'weaving a wand of power'. I think 'waving a wand of power' is correct. Nice alliteration, but I don't think one can 'weave a wand'. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

And S3 needs a Full Stop at the end. Very few nits.

Tx, Syl

[greenwich]

Thank you Psyche for your interest. Yes you're right only waving no weaving. Glad the alternative stanza 3 had a useful line 3.

[Maureen]

I liked your poem - my Dad came from the North of England from Preston so some of the phrases you used were familiar to me. Pet and northern hen made me laugh. My Gran used to refer to me as Pet all the time and her conversations were liberally sprinkled with Hen.

Putting the link in as Syl has done for you is a good idea especially as people from other areas otherwise don't understand where your poem is coming from.

I enjoyed the read several times. Thank you for sharing it.