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Rondeau, Poetic Form Exercise |
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Mar 20 07, 11:23
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Group: Gold Member
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
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Referred By:Lori
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Anime
An enema by any other name is still an enemy to me; don’t maim me with that putrid tea I must ingest while lying down; how is it 'for the best' your stuffing me to strains of La bohème ?
I will not take it lying down. A flame of indignation burns inside; who’d blame my flailing zest the way that I protest an enema?
'You’re full of it! you yell at me… and claim that I’m upset for nothing… yet you aim a dripping dildo where you’d rough undressed my frame to my suggestions you’re possessed… obsessed with showing me that you could tame an enema.
© MLee Dickens'son 20 March 2007
Is Grief Good?
Good grief! I’m turning brown; I need relief from stress. It does impede my maturation; I’ve been stuck…. Am I the kind who’d pass a buck… could I digest it, I’d suck seed.
That Lucy made me turn to weed while Snoop just watched, yet I would feed their egos… and she called me Chuck. Good grief!
Once higher than my kite, on speed, I kicked a field goal… and I peed all over Linus’ blanket, struck a note on Schroeder – what a schmuck – he pulled my string, and I was treed. Good grief!
© MLee Dickens'son 20 March 2007
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Mar 20 07, 13:04
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Group: Platinum Member
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Real Name: Ron Jones
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My Muse's Affair
My muse and I converged in preparing this expose which relates ONLY to the experiences of my muse.
When once we met, that's me and you, we thought of love and our love grew. I thought of you as "honey bee", how great it was, our jubilee. When I would pucker, you would coo.
And so we bonded, just like glue., avowing ne'er to say "adieu". You'd steam my shirt, I'd stir your stew, when once we met...
And then He showed how he'd subdue... My fickle heart went all askew. So now it's he who's right for me. Good-bye to you, I now must flee. A cad am I, and now untrue, since once we met...
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Mar 20 07, 13:51
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
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Referred By:Lori
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I'm a little confused as to what's happened to whom here in the end... whether your muse or you... and what the gender of this muse is, if there indeed be a gender. I love what you're doing with this Ron. It's quite ingenious in my mind... but I'm just a bit confused in the ending ? deLighting to see your rondeau, Daniel
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Guest_Kathy_*
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Mar 21 07, 00:56
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Guest
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[quote name='JustDaniel' date='Mar 21 07, 02:23 ' post='93180'] AnimeAn enema by any other name is still an enemy to me; don’t maim me with that putrid tea I must ingest while lying down; how is it 'for the best'your stuffing me to strains of La bohème ? I will not take it lying down. A flame of indignation burns inside; who’d blame my flailing zest the way that I protest an enema? 'You’re full of it,' you yell at me… and claim that I’m upset for nothing… yet you aim a dripping dildo where you’d rough undressed my frame to my suggestions you’re possessed… obsessed with showing me that you could tame an enema. © MLee Dickens'son 20 March 2007Love it!!! Hahahahaha
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Mar 21 07, 06:38
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Group: Platinum Member
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Real Name: Ron Jones
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DEar Daniel, Your range in subject matter continues to amaze. I'm constantly afraid you'll max out and destroy my smile-meter. As to my muse, this was posted elsewhere I was the subject (fiction of course) but I changed the pronouns and posted it here. I agree, I think of all cads as male and yet as posted , the cad is my female muse. I wondered how many might detect what you just have. Cheers, ron jgd
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Mar 21 07, 07:54
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Group: Gold Member
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Thank you, Kathy...
and thank you for the explanation, Ron. I'm glad I was indeed on the right page with you... and that the 'confusion' seems to have been purposed (as I suspected)...
As you know, I've been playing with rondeaux this month, so here's another one... that kind of describes both the creation of a rondeau and the participation of others in the process of creating poetry:
Learning by Doing He’s learning by doing while others look on who care to show patiently… cause light to dawn in a way that will stick on his fingers so well that he’ll drop by the pub on his way home to tell some bloke how to write a rondeau, name o’ Sean.
He’ll have picked out his opening phrase; soon he’s drawn a picture with movement while munching a prawn. His pitcher of ale now becomes his inkwell; he’s learning by doing.
Ol’ Sean gets excited as he looks upon an image expanding as though his front lawn were blossoming green on St. Paddy’s; the smell of fresh heather and clover is starting to swell inside that old pub. As his brain speaks with brawn, he’s learning by doing. © MLee Dickens'son 19 March 2007
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Nov 4 07, 20:12
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Mosaic Master
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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Christmas Palette
In Santa’s fields his landscape’s lush with nature’s snow and tints of blush -- breathe in frost’s air. Now paint the scene with ornamental red and green; a Christmas palette’s choral brush.
Open your heart, prepare to flush those melancholy thoughts, just crush the hand that holds that Scrooge-like dream, in Santa’s fields.
Deck all pine trees before the rush on Christmas Eve – forget to hush because he rides, yes, sight unseen with jingle bells and time machine! It’s true! Believe! His world’s not slush -- in Santa’s fields.
Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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May 25 08, 08:50
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Real Name: Ron Jones
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Dear All, The all who read this are not those I'm addressing! The all I'm addressing are all those who have never discovered the joys of the rondeau and aren't likely to, things being as they are.
I recently was challenged by the greatest modern rondeau writer of them all, Just Daniel, at another site, to commit to writing one piece each 24 hours for a month. I'd been in the doldrums and considerating that no one could impress me more by his challenge than Daniel, I accepted it.
I've 3 to go to complete the challenge, and so I'm totally appreciative of J.D. for dispelling my doldrums. I usually have my daily piece written before breakfast.
Here is #23 (I write rondeaux on Wednesdays)
For she's too fat, she's off her feed. A diet is the choice she'll heed. She says the "cocktail" she likes best she now has banned at doc's request. To give up "drink" she has agreed.
Her oath, she says, she'll keep, indeed! It seems so foreign from her creed. Her normal quaff she must arrest for she's too fat.
She's overweight, she will concede, her bloated bod must now recede. Though she's reformed, she's still a pest. A "skeeter" she, by now you've guessed. She's vegan vowed, my fear is freed! (?) ...for she's too fat!
ps- my 24th and 25th also deal with this skeeter- you can find them at poet's train, circadian addiction
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Jun 11 08, 17:05
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Real Name: Elizabeth
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Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Hi Ron,
I enjoyed reading this and find the challenge captivating. Hope I can muster some idea's to spark my muse to do it along with. What found most interesting is that the form, allowed you to write so much different than your marked style and meter.
Best Wishes, Liz
PS, I noticed your PS - You are always welcome to share them at MM as well.
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Jun 11 08, 18:10
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
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From: Massachusetts
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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Hi Ron, What a fun Rondeau to read! Got a good chuckle over it! It's certainly an impressive challenge of JD's to write a poem a day, I can't even write one a month, ! Your pointer to Poem Train might not be read though since one must join the site to read the threads over there, FYI. Cheers ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Sep 6 09, 15:49
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Pure Words
To hear pure words of honest praise can set a poet's heart ablaze with confidence to write still more... though all the world may yet ignore or tell him that he must rephrase
what's viewed as ancient rhymed malaise: Stop driving worn-out Chevrolets. Rev these Mercedes; go full bore to hear pure words.
When I return from cabernets to lager beer, that newness grays; I feel like I'd been with a whore... turn back to write what I adore and hope that someone's heart still prays to hear pure words.
© MLee Dickens'son 28 Aug 2009
a riposte to Ron Jones' rondeau, Teaching Verse
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May 9 13, 20:00
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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I'm just BUMPING this thread, so folks can see what a RONDEAU is, since Merlin has introduced us to what we will call a 'Short Rondeau', and several of us have been playing with it. deLightingly, Daniel
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May 11 13, 16:18
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Group: Gold Member
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
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Corrected... Thanks, Larry!
No Ancient Rhyme
An ancient rhyme, for bards as I melts into sky, so broad and high; it stretches out ability to grasp its meaning in a sea of grand confusion ‘til I sigh…
Ah, why is it that I can’t fly on wings of eagles? I hear my sad flapping wings that can't foresee an ancient rhyme.
E’en ducks will quack a swift Goodbye! and leave me paddlin’ all awry in puddled tears that mirror me a feather-brained monstrosity whose quills could ne’er attempt to ply an ancient rhyme.
© MLee Dickens'son
Original S2L3: sad flapping wings that would belie
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May 12 13, 14:49
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Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hi Daniel,
I'm not great at writing "Rondeaux", having only written a few, but I noticed one tiny nit (is it okay to crit?). In L8, the end rhyme should be the same as L's 3 & 4. I'm sure you know this and it's a mere oversight. Suggest: "failed to be" in place of "would belie". TOT
I'm glad you brought this up to "present time" posts because of the great interest that seems to have blossomed with the "short rondeau". I'll have to write something or drop something old so that it will continue to stay current.
Larry
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May 12 13, 15:31
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Group: Gold Member
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
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Thanks for the correction, Larry. I've just posted a modification. You might want to revisit your own 'short rondeaux' here in Karnak, as I have, since Eric made a correction in my incorrectly-observed description. Note that in the short version, L6 is to rhyme with the final fragment ( rentrement ). We'd both overlooked that. deLighting in your careful observations, Daniel
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May 26 13, 22:48
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Springfield, Louisiana
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Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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Referred By:Just wondered in.
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A Slip of Faith
A way to cope that used to be, collapsed into insanity where convoluted lies abound and truth, as such, is spun around until its authenticity
is altered. The validity of what is said confuses me to the extent that I have found a way to cope
in stolid equanimity. I doubt that I shall ever be so crass as to believe. Profound enunciations may astound but I’ll nod understandably away, to cope.
Larry
Thanks Daniel!
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Nov 27 13, 11:21
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Hmmm... Good thoughts, Larry, but I think you forgot about the repletion of your FIRST WORDS in the opening line ??
First Words
First words must be repeated oft... and even if at first they're scoffed by progeny whom you would teach. It oft takes time if you would reach inside young hearts, to point aloft.
Imbue with truth piecemeal and broad; the youthful mind is often flawed and needs a nudge to open doors with growing insight; it explores first words.
Do not give up, and watch yourself lest you be placed upon the shelf for foolishness in your own life. Grow deft to listen; stir less strife reflecting back upon themselves first words.
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Nov 28 13, 09:41
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,505
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From: Springfield, Louisiana
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Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hi Daniel,
Happy Thanksgiving and thanks for giving me a heads-up; I did forget because of my parts-hymers. I'll fix that as soon as I post this to you.
Larry
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Nov 29 13, 09:39
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,505
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Mind-sight
Reflecting back upon the past and all the things I felt would last have dissipated in that time. I live within a different clime where normalcy leaves me aghast.
A world in which the insane rule and life or death is just a tool while truth is torn from trust. My eyes reflecting back
upon the promise future held did not reveal what life entailed nor how morality might change. No prayer or wish can rearrange the past I knew. Those days are veiled… reflecting back.
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Dec 1 13, 14:57
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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Wow Larry - an important, potent poem above. Thanks for penning it.
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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