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Sing Little Bird , Sing ! |
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Oct 28 04, 06:45
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 764
Joined: 18-October 04
From: Sabah, Malaysia
Member No.: 80
Writer of: Poetry
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You are right James. The weather is certainly better here. We do have rainy season and monsoon season though and you have your beautiful spring and fall. :smart:
Yes, wee sounds poetry like so I use it quite often.
Nice of you to drop by.
Lai
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Nov 6 04, 00:35
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 764
Joined: 18-October 04
From: Sabah, Malaysia
Member No.: 80
Writer of: Poetry
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Thanks a lot Don for the critiques. You are right about the last stanza. I have rewritten it. :smart:
All the best :sun:
Lai
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Oct 27 04, 05:22
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Very nice Lai!
I will re-visit this nice song poem often!
Cheers! Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Guest_Jox_*
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Oct 27 04, 05:52
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Guest
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Hi Lai,
I like the Scottish aspect - "Wee" but I suspect the weather is better than in Scotland.
I also like the reference to "surreal valley"; underlines the false Disney-like quality; very clever.
James.
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Oct 23 04, 23:04
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 764
Joined: 18-October 04
From: Sabah, Malaysia
Member No.: 80
Writer of: Poetry
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Sing Little Bird , Sing ! ( EDITED )
Come, you birdie that sings with glee The night has passed , the sun is up You must come down the tree to see I've put out some crumbs for you in a cup.
Sing , little bird , sing me a song ! make me soft and sweet all day long . Soon , I will leave this surreal valley chirp me your tales ; make me merry !
Wee butterflies flit among bright flowers red, yellow and pink , after showers . Like you , they need to drink and feed, but do not eat bread crumbs or seed .
So little bird , start singing your song . I've waited for your melody late and long . Sing of the mountains , plains and sunrise the fairies , fresh dews and fireflies.
My little bird sings on and on and on . creates a dream for my new dawn. When the sun sets it sings no more; that's the time when I close my door.
Aggie
Sing Little Bird , Sing ! ( ORIGINAL)
Come, you birdie that sings with glee The night has passed , the sun is up You must come down the tree to see I've put out some crumbs for you in a cup.
Sing , little bird , sing me a song ! make me soft and sweet all day long . Soon , I will leave this surreal valley chirp me your tales ; make me merry !
Wee butterflies flit among bright flowers red, yellow and pink , after showers . Like you , they need to drink and feed, but do not eat bread crumbs or seed .
So little bird , start singing your song . I've waited for your melody late and long . Sing of the mountains , plains and sunrise the fairies , fresh dews and fireflies.
My little bird sings on and on and on . I sit on my veranda listening , all alone . My bird will come tomorrow at dawn. I will be out there mowing the lawn.
2oo2 Lai
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