The Cliffs of Moher (Revision 5), free verse Options

[Maggie]

The Cliffs of Moher (Revision 5)

Barrier
from the sea's wrath,
the mammoth
Cliffs of Moher
stand stalwartly
against the sea's minions,
the menacing waves
of the mighty North Atlantic.

When a storm blows,
cliffs and sea
confront each other
in raging battle.

In times of calm
a tentative, fragile peace
abides and brings to mind
the peace of Ireland's people.

As with cliffs and sea,
Irishmen have fought
for countless years.

When will all sides
finally
learn to respect
the awesome power
of themselves
and their foes
forever?

Peggy Carpenter Harwood



The Cliffs of Moher (Revision 4)

Barrier
from the sea's wrath,
the mammoth
Cliffs of Moher
stand stalwartly
against the sea's minions,
the menacing waves
of the mighty North Atlantic.

When a storm blows,
cliffs and sea
confront each other.

In times of calm
a tentative, fragile peace
abides and brings to mind
the peace of Ireland's people.

As with cliffs and sea,
Irishmen have fought
for countless years.

When will all sides
finally
learn to respect
the awesome power
of themselves
and their foes
-forever?

Peggy Carpenter Harwood


The Cliffs of Moher (Revision 3)

Barrier
from the sea's wrath,
the mammoth
Cliffs of Moher
stand stalwartly
against the sea's minions,
the menacing waves
of the mighty North Atlantic.

When a storm blows,
cliffs and sea
confront each other.

In times of calm
a tentative, fragile peace
abides and brings to mind
the peace of Ireland's people.

As with cliffs and sea,
Irishmen have warred
for countless years.

When will all sides
finally
learn to respect
the awesome power
of themselves
and their foes
-forever?

Peggy Carpenter Harwood




The Cliffs of Moher (Revision2)

Barrier
from the sea's wrath,
the mammoth
Cliffs of Moher
stand stalwartly
against the sea's minions,
the menacing waves
of the frigid North Atlantic.

When a storm blows,
cliffs and sea
confront each other.

In times of calm
a tentative, fragile peace
abides and brings to mind
the peace of Ireland's people.

As with cliffs and sea,
Irishmen have warred
with each other
and outsiders
for countless years.

Will there come a time
when all sides
finally respect
the awesome power
of themselves
and their foes
-forever?

Peggy Carpenter Harwood



The Cliffs of Moher (Revision1)

Barrier
from the sea's wrath,
the mammoth
Cliffs of Moher
stand stalwartly
against the sea's minions,
the menacing waves
of the frigid North Atlantic.

When a storm blows,
cliffs and sea
confront each other.

In times of calm
a tentative, fragile peace
abides and brings to mind
the peace of Ireland's people.

As with cliffs and sea,
Irishmen have warred
with each other
and with outsiders
for countless years.

When will each side
finally and forever
learn to respect
the awesome power
of themselves
and of their foe?

Peggy Carpenter Harwood




The Cliffs of Moher (Original)

Barrier
from the sea's wrath,
the mammoth
Cliffs of Moher
stand stalwartly
against the sea's minions,
the menacing waves
of the frigid North Atlantic.

When a storm blows,
cliffs and sea
confront each other.

In times of calm
a tentative, fragile peace
abides and brings to mind
the peace of Ireland's people.

As with cliffs and sea,
Irishmen have warred
for many years.

When will each side
finally and forever
learn to respect
the awesome power and beauty
of the other?

Peggy Carpenter Harwood

[Thoth]

A gem Peggy, the closing question is already answered by pre-linking the image of sea confronting land. The Irish mostly war with themselves though. The other side is not mentioned here so perhaps there is a tiny gap that perhaps could be filled. I have visions of invading viking ships being no more sucessful than the ocean but having no knowledge of Irish history I am lost.
Reminds me of Mary Blacks rendition of "Ireland", one of my all time favs.

Thanks for sharing, Wally

[Maggie]

Hi Wally,

It's great to have you back on the boards posting and in the swing of things! I always appreciate your comments and suggestions! Glad you like this!! Perhaps I can fill in the gap a bit when I do a revision. I find it a bit difficult being succinct and filling the gap without get mired up in the complexities!! Ha! Think I'll tackle it in or after stanza 4. What do you think?

Appreciatively,

Peggy

[Eisa]

I like this one Peggy .. it needs a bit of a trim, let's see if I can offer a few thoughts.

Barrier
from the sea's wrath,
the mammoth
Cliffs of Moher
stand stalwart
against the sea's minions,
the menacing waves
of the frigid North Atlantic.

The beginning might sound stronger ... something like this


The mammoth
Cliffs of Moher
barrier
from the sea's wrath,
stand stalwart
against the sea's minions,
[the] and menacing waves
of the frigid North Atlantic.

When a storm blows,
cliffs and sea
confront each other.

In times of calm
a tentative, fragile peace
abides and brings to mind
the peace of Ireland's people.

Nice pictures are conjured up

As with cliffs and sea,
Irishmen have warred
with each other
and [with] outsiders
for countless years.

When will each side
finally and forever
learn to respect
the awesome power
of themselves
and of their foe?


When will each side
finally respect
the awesome power
of themselves
and their foe
-- forever?


Just a few thoughts, Peggy, but I'll be back when I've read this again.

Snow

[Maggie]

Hi Eisa,

Thank you so much for your time and thoughtful attention to my poem!! Much appreciated!! I incorporated a number of your suggestions particularly at the end.

Thanks so much!!

Peggy

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Peggy, this has got to be one of the few longer ones you have posted in a while, my first read and already you have three revisions...lol. I have only read the last revision and it seems very wonderful to me at first read. I will come back for more, promise.
Steve

[Maggie]

Hi Steve,

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!! It's always appreciate your comments very much!! I am happy you like it upon your first read!!!

Peggy

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Peggy, the only flaw I seem to find is in this stanza:

Is every
time of peace
in Ireland
destined to be
temporary
just as
the Cliffs of Moher
and the sea? Are these cliffs still standing? Then if they are they would not be considered temporary would they? And things have been very quiet in Ireland for quite a while now so maybe the peace there has finally come? Just feels like this S is a bit of an oxymoron...
Maybe if you said

Is every
time of peace
in Ireland
destined to be
temporary
as opposed to
the Cliffs of Moher

Just MHO so use or not.

Steve

[Maggie]

Hi Steve,

Thanks for finding that! I think it is fixed now.

Peggy

[Arnfinn]

Whooeee... Peg.


This is a good poem.


The Cliffs of Moher (Revision 3)

Barrier
from the sea's wrath,
the mammoth
Cliffs of Moher
stand stalwartly
against the sea's minions,
the menacing waves
of the frigid North Atlantic. >>> Might be me frigid always refers to unresponsive women (male view). What's wrong with> cold or icy. Another point> frigid=winter. cold = all seasons.

When a storm blows,
cliffs and sea
confront each other.

In times of calm
a tentative, fragile peace
abides and brings to mind
the peace of Ireland's people.

As with cliffs and sea,
Irishmen have warred
for countless years.

When will all sides
finally
learn to respect
the awesome power
of themselves
and their foes
-forever?


Peg, this is a terrific poem.

You have tied up the elements , the land, and the people of Ireland.

Very impressive.

You are a bit of surprize packet.


John

[Maggie]

Hi John,

Thanks for reading and commenting! It's always good to hear from you. And as for your high praise, I'm overjoyed!!

As for "frigid," thank goodness you mentioned it! When I read what you said it struck a cord in my memory!!! I just and checked and found out that there is a gulf stream in that part of the North Atlantic, and the warmer waters keep the British Isles' climate fairly temperate. Thus the water isn't frigid or cold at all. Good grief! That would have been a terrible mistake! I took out the word right now!!

Have a good day!!! I'm thrilled you like it!!!

Peggy

[Thoth]

Hi Peggy,
I came back to see how this one was coming on and am quite delighted. I actually liked "frigid" because it conveys indifference and uncaring which the ocean actually is. (I know the North Atlantic is warmed by the gulf stream, but on the west coast of South Africa it is extremely cold.) "mighty" is good too.

Hugs, Wally

[Maggie]

Hi Wally,

Thanks for stopping by. It's always a pleasure to hear from you. Glad you approve of the changes!

Peggy

[Arnfinn]

Hi, Peggy,


Coming along, Peg.



The only thing that seems a bit rough now is "warred."

Irishmen have warred >>> Yep! 'warred' is an English word, though I think somthing simple read much better; how about the word 'fought' as an alternative.

Irishmen have FOUGHT for countless years. Yes, it's oblique as a phrase but is effective in the context of the story.


John

[Maggie]

Hi John,

I like it! Will do!

Peggy

[Arnfinn]

Gday, Peg,


Well, I checked out no 4 and can't find
anything to change.
Unless, others have ideas.


A very enjoyable poem.


John