Halo Statue, Loglimerhyme - Convoluted Joke Options

[Larry]

Seeing as how this has been languishing in Plato's Pearls for 11 days with no comments, I thought I'd bring it over here to see if I can get a few groans or chuckles.


Halo Statue

An old septuagenarian Swede,
name of Sven, had the luck to succeed
with a lottery prize
of a few million euros so he
asked some architects what was their fee
for chalets in the skies.
The specifics required were exact
for a place in the Alps on a tract
he had purchased with cash.
Finest marbles and woods must be used
for all floors and stairs; he had excused
many builders as trash.
One that met his requirements was hired
but informed him he was old and tired
and did not want to walk
all around the new home to be built
but preferred a warm fire and a quilt.
The builder didn’t balk
even with the old Swede’s last request.
The young builder thought he was the best
to get all the jobs done
for construction was not in a boom.
“Halo Statues in every room”,
was the stipulation.
The young builder asked every friend
and associate; at his wits end
for no one had a clue
what a Halo Statue might have been
but he knew that he had to begin
and in due time was through.
He then called the old Swede, “job complete!”
and asked Sven, “When’s the best time to meet?”
Sven had been on a cruise
but he wanted to see his chalet
so he said he’d be there the next day
but the Halo Statues
still concerned the young builder. He’d try
to show Sven his new home and get by
with no mystery device.
Sven admired everything and was pleased
except for his request; unappeased,
and his frown wasn’t nice.
“Where’s my Halo Statues”? Sven now made
the young builder admit in his trade
that no one in his quests
ever heard of such things. What are they?
Sven said, “when it rings, lift it and say
Halo, statue to guests.

[JustDaniel]

Halo... s'tat you under the words?
I'm afraid that yer meter's in sherds
scattered through your cute piece.
da-da-dums switch with da-da-da dums
giving missteps to readers... the glums.
Slight adjustment makes peace.

very Lightly, Daniel

[Larry]

Could you be more specific my friend
for I’ve read from beginning to end
many times while I wrote.
How to get da-da-dums up to par
is my aim so my poem is a star
and I can get your vote.
Could it be, my colloquial mouth
emphasized syllables from the South?
I don’t know but I’ll ask
you two things; was it funny or flat
and just where the bad meter is at
if it isn’t a task.

[Psyche]

Hi Larry,
Glad you brought this one here, for anyone to groan or chuckle over.. I've enjoyed it very much, but there's still nobody around, is there?

Daniel hasn't continued your poetic dialogue! Remind him when he's over there in Karnak.

Myself, I hope to post another challenge soon. But I can't help feeling the lonesomeness of MM these days.

Don't get inspired at all.

Best, Syl

[Larry]

Hi Syl,

Long time no see. Glad you stopped in for a groan. I'm still waiting for you to see my "new" (9 days ago) response to Dylan's song. Yes, I did two of them. I'll remind Daniel of his crit on my piece to see if he can point out the metrical inconsistences to my "joke".

Thanks for the visit,

Larry