A Quilt of Ashes, Wizard Award Winner Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

*Graphic provided by
Celtic Castle Designs

A Quilt of Ashes (second revision)

Spewing into the sky in a sudden blast,
your branches break free in a cloud.
Unsupported, you spread sideways,
a clamor of white and gray.

You have spoken, maturing
in a moment, forever
petrifying those who call
out to you, "Vesuvius!"

Crimson colored pumice
and fiery flames burst forth,
your show of strength.
Exhaled, dust-laden air
suffocates scenery.

A rain of ash and fire settles
over Pompeii, blowing kisses
of mephitic gas to us, worshippers
of your awesome beauty.

The sea that once nurtured you
turns to shoal. Waves of light
and dark find solace no more.

Tremors of faith collapse
into darkness. A cloud
of light stretches to soil,
smothering all companions.

We were too lethargic
to listen. Now we rest
in judgment, protected
by a quilt of ashes.

*In memory of all those lost August 24th, 79 A. D.

Copyright © 2004 Lorraine M Kanter
All rights reserved by Lorraine M Kanter as an unpublished work.


A Quilt of Ashes (first revision - TY Alan!)

Rising to the sky in a sudden blast,
your branches break free in a cloud.
Unsupported, you spread sideways,
a clamor of white and gray.

You have spoken, maturing
in a moment, forever
frozen in time.

Crimson colored pumice
and fiery flames burst forth,
your show of strength.
Exhaled, dust-laden air
suffocates scenery.

A rain of ash and fire settles
over Pompeii, blowing kisses
of mephitic gas to us, worshippers
of your awesome beauty.

The sea that once nurtured you
turns to shoal. Waves of light
and dark find solace no more.

You have spoken, maturing
in a moment, forever
frozen in time.

Tremors of faith collapse
into darkness. A cloud
of light stretches to soil,
crushing all companions.

We were too lethargic
to listen. Now we rest
in judgment, protected
by a quilt of ashes.

*In memory of all those lost August 24th, 79 A. D.

© 2003 Lorraine M Kanter
All rights reserved by Lorraine M Kanter as an unpublished work.


A Quilt of Ashes

Rising into the sky in a sudden blast,
your branches break free in a cloud.
Unsupported, you spread sideways
in a clamor of white and gray.

You have spoken, maturing
in a moment forever
frozen in time.

Crimson covered pumice
and fiery flames burst forth
in a show of strength.
You exhale dust-laden air,
suffocating scenery.

Rains of ash and fire settle
over Pompeii. You blow kisses
of mephitic gas to those who
had worshipped your beauty.

The sea that once nurtured you
turns to shoal where waves of light
and dark find solace no more.

You have spoken, maturing
in a moment forever
frozen in time.

Tremors of faith collapse
into Darkness. A cloud
of Light stretches to soil,
crushing all companions.

We were too lethargic
to listen. Now we lay
in judgment, protected
by a quilt of ashes.

*In memory of all those lost August 24th, 79 A. D.

© 2003 Lorraine M Kanter
All rights reserved by Lorraine M Kanter as an unpublished work.

[Charon]

Hi ya,

This was cool, although you used some words that the ole Hun had to go look up.  Long time no see, here's hoping that I can get back in the flow of things.

You almost could drop the Pompeii  reference and use this poem for any volcano.

I like.

AtH

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi ya,

This was cool, although you used some words that the ole Hun had to go look up.  Long time no see, here's hoping that I can get back in the flow of things.

You almost could drop the Pompeii  reference and use this poem for any volcano.

I like.

AtH

Why HELLO AtH!    

How are you my friend? Glad to see you!  

Thanks much for stopping in and commenting. You've got a really good point there, and this could work without the 'Pompeii reference' I agree.

Thanks again and welcome back!

HUGAROOOOS!
~Cleo  

[Guest__*]

Dear Cleo

Yeah, I was wondering where he was too !

Anyway, it is touching that you write in memory of people who died 1900 years ago.

For the moment one Q :

We were too lethargic
to listen. Now we lay   -- don't you mean "lie" ?
in judgment, protected
by a quilt of ashes.

I also see some points where the wording could be tightened up, but I'm not sure that you would want this.

Love
Alan

[Cleo_Serapis]

Dear Cleo

Yeah, I was wondering where he was too !

Anyway, it is touching that you write in memory of people who died 1900 years ago.

For the moment one Q :

We were too lethargic
to listen. Now we lay   -- don't you mean "lie" ?
in judgment, protected
by a quilt of ashes.

I also see some points where the wording could be tightened up, but I'm not sure that you would want this.

Love
Alan

Hi ALan.

This is one of those trick questions I think?

Lie or lay? In this reference, I used 'lay' to mean 'rest' and 'positioned' as a verb, so I think it's ok?

Please tell me more!  :smart:

HUGS!
~Cleo  :pharoah:

[Guest__*]

Dear Cleo



Rising into the sky in a sudden blast,
your branches break free in a cloud.
Unsupported, you spread sideways
in a clamor of white and gray.

Rising to the sky in a sudden blast,
your branches break free in a cloud.
Unsupported, you spread sideways,
a clamor of white and gray.

You have spoken, maturing
in a moment forever
frozen in time.

You have spoken, maturing
in a moment,* forever
frozen in time.

Crimson covered pumice
and fiery flames burst forth
in a show of strength.
You exhale dust-laden air,
suffocating scenery.

Crimson colored pumice
and fiery flames burst forth,
your show of strength.
Exhaled,* dust-laden air,
suffocates scenery.

Rains of ash and fire settle
over Pompeii. You blow kisses
of mephitic gas to those who
had worshipped your beauty.

A rain of ash and fire settles
over Pompeii, blowing kisses
of mephitic gas to us, worshipers
of your awesome beauty.

The sea that once nurtured you
turns to shoal where waves of light
and dark find solace no more.

The sea that once nurtured you
turns to shoal. Waves of light
and dark find solace no more.

You have spoken, maturing
in a moment,* forever
frozen in time.

Tremors of faith collapse
into Darkness. A cloud  -- why the cap D & L - does personifying them add anything?
of Light stretches to soil,
crushing all companions.

We were too lethargic
to listen. Now we lie,
judged, but protected too -              in judgement, or judged ?
by your quilt of ashes.

Cleo, somewhere near the end I forgot to copy the verse to amend it. Sorry.

This is a powerful piece, I have condensed slightly, made some slight suggested changes. Feel free to erupt if I have done wrong !

Look forward to your comments.

Love
Alan

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Alan!

Thank you very much! I've revised this one already with most of your ideas!

No need to personify the Dark and Light references.

I also changes lay to rest, !

Anyway - thanks much!

~Cleo  :pharoah:

[Guest__*]

Dear Cleo

Pleased to have helped. Becoming a powerful piece.

By coincidence, this week I heard a reading of part of a book on radio, to do with this day. I bet you know exactly which book it was !

Love
Alan

[Cybele]

Dear Cleo,

Further to Alan's remark about this subject, the BBC last week showed a programme about the last days of Pompeii.  Extremely well done it was too.  :king2:

Ralph and I visited Sorrento and Pompeii many years ago and your very powerful poem brings back the memories of this trip. I have pictures of the streets of Pompeii and Herculaneum and have been trying to write a piece myself - no luck so far. Maybe I can gain inspiration from your wonderful poem.

Love

Grace  :read:

[Arnfinn]

Hi Lori


Wonderful poem......nothing jerky........nice and smooth........


Your quite a historian Lori.....very vivid pictures come to mind.  :)

Regards



John

[Cleo_Serapis]

Dear Cleo

Pleased to have helped. Becoming a powerful piece.

By coincidence, this week I heard a reading of part of a book on radio, to do with this day. I bet you know exactly which book it was !

Love
Alan

Thanks Alan!

Still toying with the 'lie' 'lay' or 'rest' question.

That would have been FUN to listen to! HHmmm - let me guess - Homer's "Odyssey" or "Illiad"?

I must break out my books and read them!    

Hugarooos!
~Cleo  

[Cleo_Serapis]

Dear Cleo,

Further to Alan's remark about this subject, the BBC last week showed a programme about the last days of Pompeii.  Extremely well done it was too.  

Ralph and I visited Sorrento and Pompeii many years ago and your very powerful poem brings back the memories of this trip. I have pictures of the streets of Pompeii and Herculaneum and have been trying to write a piece myself - no luck so far. Maybe I can gain inspiration from your wonderful poem.

Love

Grace  

Hi Grace!

Ohhh- I WISH I knew about that! I would have LOVED to watch it! I do have satellite dish, so maybe it'll be on again and I can watch it on BBC or perhaps they'll run it History Channel or Discovery Channel. Most recently, I watched a great show about Bram Stoker on the Travel Channel (of all places)!

There are sooooo many great pictures on the Web about Pompeii! If you read up on it, you'll find that the ash actually preserved everything. They've found some wonderful Mosaics still rich in color! I have one on our new page 3 postcards actually from Pompeii (I think there are 2)?

Some of the people tried to get away, and some just cuddled up in their homes (not sure what they were thinking - the gases probably did them in). Pliny the Elder, tried to rescue the town's people on sea, but even his ships were wiped out by falling debris, pumice and flames (not to mention tidal waves).

I would love to visit all these ancient places some day! It must have been exciting to visit!  

Perhaps with your pictures, it'll stir your muse?

Thanks for stopping by! :roman:  (this is the roman one)...
Hugarooos!
~Cleo  

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Lori

Wonderful poem......nothing jerky........nice and smooth........

Your quite a historian Lori.....very vivid pictures come to mind.  :)

Regards

John

Hi John!  :grinning:

Thanks very much!  :sings:

Why thanks you for your compliment! I enjoy reading, and watching shows about the Ancients!

(Otherwise, this Mosaic would have been quite different)!

Hugaroooos!
~Cleo  :pharoah:

[Cybele]

Hi Cleo,



Yes this was all in the programme. Absolutely fascinating.

Don't Know if you can get our Channel 4 programme via satellite, but they are starting a new series of Ancient Egyptians at 9pm GMT on Thursdays starting in 1469BC and the battle of Megiddo. Story focuses on Pharoah Tuthmosis III.

If you can't, is there any way I can video them for you and send them on?

I don't wish to invade your privacy though.  :talktohand:

Love

Grace  :wave:

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Cleo,



Yes this was all in the programme. Absolutely fascinating.

Don't Know if you can get our Channel 4 programme via satellite, but they are starting a new series of Ancient Egyptians at 9pm GMT on Thursdays starting in 1469BC and the battle of Megiddo. Story focuses on Pharoah Tuthmosis III.

If you can't, is there any way I can video them for you and send them on?

I don't wish to invade your privacy though.  

Love

Grace  

Hi Grace.  :king:

Unfortunately, we cannot access your channel 4.  :oops:

It is most assuredly something I will watch when it makes its way over here! You can bet the farm on that!  :rofl:  :detective:  :alien2:

Our video system is different from yours so even if you were so kind to tape it, we would not be able to view it. SIGH.  :upside:

I'll just have to keep my eyes and ears open for when it makes it's way over here. What network is your channel 4?

Thanks for the invtiation just the same!  :sun:  :lovie:

HUGS!
~Cleo  :pharoah:

[Guest__*]

If you, the moderator, gets this much criticism, what can I expect.  I guess I'll lay down with it and cry, I mean lie.  Wait I don't lie, this is confusing.  Anyway great poem in my humble opinion.  Wish I'd met you guys before my chapbook was published.
iblieve

[Cleo_Serapis]

If you, the moderator, gets this much criticism, what can I expect.  I guess I'll lay down with it and cry, I mean lie.  Wait I don't lie, this is confusing.  Anyway great poem in my humble opinion.  Wish I'd met you guys before my chapbook was published.
iblieve

Hellooooooo C.W.!  :wizard:

LOL! I'm not a mod, I'm an admin here!  ???  :laugh:

I don't look at this as criticism, it's a learning experience! This is MILD too, so it's not too difficult to interact here in Homer's Homilies.  :cloud9:

WOW 0 the WIND is out of control outside!!! Better make sure I've got some candles handy!

Ahhh - the best crits are the ones from the heart! It's easy to express a reaction when done truthfully, without offending. You'll see soon enough "C"!

Well, I thank you for your visit!  :dragon:  WELCOME again to MM!

Ahhhh, you've been published! WAY COOL!

You'll have to enlighten us

Hugaroooos!
~Cleo  :pharoah:

[Siren]

Lori,


WOW!!! What a Quilt!!!!

The images evoked and emotions... I'm truly enchanted by this...


Dani

[Guest_Zeus˛_*]

Lori,
after watching several programs about the excavations that have gone over the years, and seeing these people frozen in time, your  poem gives a bit more realizm and connection as to how, what and why.
Larry

[Aphrodite]

A Quilt of Ashes (first revision - TY Alan!)

Rising to the sky in a sudden blast,
your branches break free in a cloud.
Unsupported, you spread sideways,
a clamor of white and gray.

You have spoken, maturing
in a moment, forever
frozen in time.

Crimson colored pumice
and fiery flames burst forth,
your show of strength.
Exhaled, dust-laden air
suffocates scenery.

A rain of ash and fire settles
over Pompeii, blowing kisses
of mephitic gas to us, worshippers
of your awesome beauty.

The sea that once nurtured you
turns to shoal. Waves of light
and dark find solace no more.

You have spoken, maturing
in a moment, forever
frozen in time.

Tremors of faith collapse
into darkness. A cloud
of light stretches to soil,
crushing all companions.

We were too lethargic
to listen. Now we rest
in judgment, protected
by a quilt of ashes.

*In memory of all those lost August 24th, 79 A. D.

© 2003 Lorraine M Kanter
All rights reserved by Lorraine M Kanter as an unpublished work.



A Quilt of Ashes

Rising into the sky in a sudden blast,
your branches break free in a cloud.
Unsupported, you spread sideways
in a clamor of white and gray.

You have spoken, maturing
in a moment forever
frozen in time.

Crimson covered pumice
and fiery flames burst forth
in a show of strength.
You exhale dust-laden air,
suffocating scenery.

Rains of ash and fire settle
over Pompeii. You blow kisses
of mephitic gas to those who
had worshipped your beauty.

The sea that once nurtured you
turns to shoal where waves of light
and dark find solace no more.

You have spoken, maturing
in a moment forever
frozen in time.

Tremors of faith collapse
into Darkness. A cloud
of Light stretches to soil,
crushing all companions.

We were too lethargic
to listen. Now we lay
in judgment, protected
by a quilt of ashes.

*In memory of all those lost August 24th, 79 A. D.

© 2003 Lorraine M Kanter
All rights reserved by Lorraine M Kanter as an unpublished work.

Hello Cleo~

I enjoyed this "historical" piece as well as the time and thought you put into it!
The revisions are great and I am hopeful that you will leave it be.

Crimson colored pumice
and fiery flames burst forth,
your show of strength.
Exhaled, dust-laden air
suffocates scenery.*****haunting!      

Happy holidays!

Lindi