Mae West Quotes, Not literary but funny Options

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When I'm good I'm very very good-
but when I'm bad I'm the best.

I like only two kinds of men; domestic and foreign.
-Mae West

When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-Mae West

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
--Mae West (1892-1980)


Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."
Mae We


Goodness, what lovely diamonds.
Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie.

No gold-digging for me... I take diamonds! We may be off the gold standard someday.

It takes two to get one in trouble.

I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit.

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about you lately.
You must be awful tired.

I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

I can always tell a lady when I see one.
Yeah? What do you tell 'em?

Give a man a free hand and he'll try to put it all over you.

Too many girls follow the line of least resistance--but a good line is hard to resist.

Some men are all right in their place--if they only knew the right places!

It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don't break any.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.

I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them.

Any time you got nothing to do--and lots of time to do it--come on up.

Men are all alike--except the one you've met who's different.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

The score never interested me, only the game.

Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.

It's not the men in my life that counts-- it's the life in my men.

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

Women with "pasts" interest men because men hope that history will repeat itself.

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

There are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.

The best way to learn to be a lady is to see how other ladies do it.

Let men see what's coming to them, and women will get what's coming to them.

The curve is more powerful than the sword.

I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.

When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.

I like a man who's good, but not too good--for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

Some women pick men to marry--and others pick them to pieces.

When a girl goes bad--men go right after her.

Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she
ever made was a flag.

A woman in love can't be reasonable--or she probably wouldn't be in love.

You can do what you want, but saving love doesn't bring any interest.

Love isn't an emotion or an instinct--it's an art.

Love is the only industry which can't operate on a five-day week.

Women want certain things in marriage--the right to a title and a front seat in the lap of luxury.

Men are easy to get but hard to keep.

It's easy to get married, but hard to stay that way.

Kiss and make up--but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss.

A girl in the convertible is worth five in the phone book.

Life's just a merry-go-round. Come on up. You might get a brass ring.

You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new
angles.

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

Look your best--who said love is blind?

An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.

Girls, give all your gentlemen friends an even break, even if you have to break them in the attempt.

Cultivate your curves--they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

Love thy neighbor--and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

If you put your foot in it, be sure it's your best foot.

It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect.

The best way to behave is to misbehave.

He who hesitates is last.

I'm single because I was born that way.

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.

Marriage is a great institution. No family should be without it.

A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty--he has suffered longer.

Don't come crawlin' to a man for love--he likes to get a run for his money.

Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your smile.

Don't marry a man to reform him--that's what reform schools are for.

Don't keep a man guessing too long--he's sure to find the answer somewhere else.

Don't ever make the same mistake twice, unless it pays.

How do you do, Miss West?
How do you do what?

I'd give half my life for just one kiss.
Then kiss me twice.

Oh, Miss West, I've heard so much about you.
Yeah, honey, but you can't prove a thing.

Do you like the new styles or the old?
You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

Never ask a man where's he's been. If he's out on legitimate business, he doesn't need an alibi. And,
girls, if he has been out on illegitimate business, it's your own fault.

What kind of man is most satisfactory?
Personally, I like two types of men--domestic and foreign.

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day--and another, in case it doesn't.

It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it
and say it.

Come up and see me sometime.