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Tanka, 5-7-5-7-7 [or less] |
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Sep 15 06, 11:23
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Note: I'd thought there had been a post on this form earlier, but I could not locate it. If I'm incorrect, please let me know.
Tanka is a Japanese form of poetry of 31 onji; the closest we Americans come to that is to think in terms of 31 syllables. The lines are generally 5,7,5,7,7 syllables in length -- or preferably less -- short-long-short-long-long. I'm told that the earlier tanka shifted rhythm after the 12th onji; the more modern ones de-emphasize the location of shift or switch after the 17th. At any rate, here are some of my own attempts, for whatever they may be worth:
Stumbling Stumbling into growth may be bloody painful stuff, but scars remind me this vulnerability opens my heart to loving. © MLee Dickens'son 05 July 2002
Jesus’ Earthy Dad kept her a virgin miraculous conception of Mary’s Joseph whose union was further blessed: four sons and unnamed daughters © MLee Dickens'son12 Dec 2003
- Matthew 1:25; Mark 6:3
annuals vs. perennial ‘lovers’ seek to come seasoned and with wild bouquet pretending to root; a love is but one… who blooms when planted in nurtured ground
© MLee Dickens'son 18 Dec 2003
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Replies
(340 - 354)
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Mar 19 24, 10:26
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,675
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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While sitting sub lime limbs could drop one on your head; time to make limeade It's a lot like lemonade except it's St Patrick's green
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Mar 29 24, 18:37
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,407
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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It’s St. Patrick’s green some folks will wear every year but I’ve seldom seen a saloon or bar near here that will stock and serve green beer.
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Mar 30 24, 00:46
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,675
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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socks to sieve green beer? did they take out the color or just stain stockings? are you an alcoholic or a very green drinker?
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Apr 6 24, 11:18
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,407
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Agreeing drinkers say beer is amber or brown. There are few thinkers who care what color they down as long as their problems drown.
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Apr 7 24, 08:22
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,675
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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long to drown problems in a tankard of cold beer? it just doesn't work even though you may forget 'til you wake with hangover
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Apr 13 24, 23:31
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,407
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hangover from wake to remember a good friend is a big mistake. That result you can amend for you’ve seen how it may end.
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Apr 14 24, 16:12
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,675
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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saw how it would end and left the movie early; hate predictable date preferred predictable so she said it was our last
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Apr 22 24, 20:00
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,407
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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She said it’s our last though the date was not complete. I was quite aghast but I tried to be discrete when I left her on the street.
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Apr 24 24, 07:49
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,675
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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left her on the street after he ran over her; rushed from the scene poor mosquito will never take another bite of crime
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Apr 26 24, 09:51
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,407
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Take bites out of crime: prosecute perpetrators! We’re way past the time when liberal debaters are jailed with demonstrators.
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Apr 27 24, 03:37
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,675
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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jailed demonstrators not having fun behind bars... even bartender said he prefers making drinks to creating uprisings
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May 3 24, 10:27
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,407
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Uprisings create chaos in any season; but to espouse hate is never a good reason. To me, it is just treason.
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May 4 24, 06:05
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,675
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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there's no just reason to write a legal tanka ask any lawyer and he'll likely lie to you with a big smile on his face
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May 13 24, 09:32
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,407
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Big smiles on faces may not come from happiness. When pain embraces, you grit your teeth with duress. A rictus from death’s caress…
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May 13 24, 11:07
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,675
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Ricketts' death-caress is being felt frequently; who knows just how long he has left to write ditties that no one reads anyhow
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