7 POEMS FOR A CHALLENGE (elsewhere) Options

[Alan]

SOLITUDE

Those who would have their solitude
are wont to say “Now listen, Dude,
I really want to be alone,
be a good chap, now please be gone.”

Aloneness must be qualified :
to interaction it is tied.
Being alone, without the mess
of t’other - such is meaningless ....

DREAMER
Tribute to MLK

He had a dream
I lived nightmares
He changed a nation
I got to go there
Then he was shot
And I was not
He is the man
I wish I had been ....

GLOBAL VILLAGE

There’s a small village in my heart
where those I love form a large part;
each cares for every other one,
resulting in much mirth and fun.
All this despite the many times
they’re strangers, from far distant climes

MISSION SORT OF POSSIBLE

I have this mission for my life
to lessen grief, all shock and strife,
bring harmony to friend and foe,
to not hold back, but boldly go
west, young man, to east, north and south,
with both feet firmly placed in mouth ....

VISTA VISION

Contemplating vistas I have seen
I’m pleased to have been a human been,
although first slap, when it made me cry
was hell of a start, I’ll tell you why :
it said, life is all travail and pain,
for life agreed, again and again !

WIND AND WATER

As a baby of course
I was windy at both ends
Mother would pat
or give gripe water

I managed to grow up
after a fashion
but I'm living proof
neither worked ....

CRÈME-DE-LA-CREMATORIUM

I lead a helter-skelter life
with kids galore, even a wife,
who, each and every one of them
thinks Dad’s a gem, a.m, p.m.
True. For them I love to swelter
until I’m burned out, in the smelter ....

Alan McAlpine Douglas

[JLY]

Alan,
You have offered quite a bit to ponder here. Your messages evoke some utopian ideals which many of us have embraced over time. However, I think your depiction of your demise is a bit premature and takes away from some of the previous messages.

You have much more time here to offer your positive perspectives and we look forward to your views of the world as seen through your cryptic eyes.
JLY

[Alan]

Dear John,

Yours is an interesting viewpoint. The last was of course meant to be ligh-hearted, and there is no suggestion as to when I am burned out or up.

What do you suggest - place it elsewhere, remove it, change it ?

I'd quite like some others' views as well please.

Love
Alan

[JLY]

Alan,
I think your last one, Creme, maybe out of place; however, as you suggested, let's see what others think.
JLY

[Alan]

Dear Friends,

Any one else to add please to this discussion - John and I are hanging ....

Love
Alan

[Larry]

Hi Alan,

Hello to you too John! There aren't a lot of postings or crits lately and not knowing the circumstances thereof, I can't comment on the paucity of, or the reasons for this fact. I've been pretty busy in the "non-ether" world and can find only a few minutes in the day to look in on the site and perhaps very late at night, comment/post/crit a little. Daniel and I have swapped limericks for a few weeks now without anyone else chiming or joining in the fun and I've wondered "Where the heck is everyone".

If it is crits and comments you want, you have laid out a large task for anyone to wade through. It's not that I have a lot of crits but you have inundated the reader with an electic smorgasbord of thought provoking poems and that, in itself, might intimidate some readers (and even some writers).

Here, for your perusal, are a very few crits and comments.

Solitude - S1L3 - Lose "do"! It really screws up your otherwise perfect tetrameter.

Solitude isn't all it is cracked up to be, especially when you're really A L O N E! It, like medicine, should be appreciated and used in proper proportions. You summed it all up with your last statement "such is meaningless". A very good life lesson to those who just want to be left alone. Be careful what you wish for - you might not like it as much as you think.

Dreamer - Looks like you started and ended in Dimeter with a few extra syls in the middle stanzas.

Perhaps:

He had a dream
I lived nightmares
He changed a nation (A nation changed)
I got to go there (So I went there)
Then he was shot
And I was not
He is the man
I wish I had been... (I wish I'd been...)

I admired MLK for what he did and the time in which it was done. What I don't like is the way his words have now been twisted into a travesty. He was a martyr to equality everywhere (not just blacks) but that is still merely a dream. What a shame.

Global Village - Love it and wish that it was a fact and not just a whimsical dream.

M.S.O.P. - IMHO, you have succeeded, especially in the MM arena.

Your last three, good wry humor!

Thanks for sharing.

Larry

[Alan]

Dear LArry,

I have noted that traffic falls off a cliff in times of economic stress - just when they need us most !

Didn't know about the Limericks, will go there often

"Do" is gone, thanks.

Thanks for the comments on the rest too, esp M S O P, unless you mean I am well known for putting both feet in my mouth ! (Kidding)

Greta Garbo is claimed to have said "I vant to be alone" - in fact she said "I vant to be LEFT alone" - which is quite different.

Love
Alan