Hi there
This is an interesting one and I like the metaphor you have used.
A few thoughtsBabble
Unusual title - drew me in hereWaves upon waves of syllables
I have been used to hearing the words 'wave upon wave' - the plural is unusual, although might still be regarded a bit cliche. Perhaps something more descriptive, like
swelling/building waves of syllablescrashed onto a shore of open ears,
I like this linerelentless as surf upon sand.
Some called for small fishes to unite
against the larger ones. Others lauded
the glory and the power of the bigger fish.
A few berated the moon for how it gave,
then took away, terrain. And always,
the ocean was too cold, or too warm,
or so "just right" that everyone must know.
Perhaps instead of 'small' fishes and 'larger' one - use more descriptive words eg
tiny/insignificant ... massive/immense/enormousI'd be tempted to put
just right in italics
Those of us who lived upon the bluffs
that overlooked the sea heard
the endless phonemes not as missives
or declarations. We heard them
as early man turned his senses toward
the breeze fingering the woodwind
of the cave door, or as a child, who wakes
in the morning, and listens to the chirping
of the birds, and the broom of the evergreen
raking bristles against the eaves.
I like St2 best of all - its fresher
I hope something i've said might help - if not just ignore
Snow