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Departure of Ardea, (When the Heron Flies) |
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Mar 6 10, 07:59
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 783
Joined: 24-July 07
From: South Africa
Member No.: 457
Real Name: Walter Schwim
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Mistral
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Departure of Ardea(When the Heron Flies) Ardea Goliath, the giant heron From the gleaming sandbank, a dark hunched valkyrie patiently contemplates the wind. Glossy goliath wings, spread abruptly skyward; Momentarily she stoops, then - leaping into the air, sheds the earth-ties of gravity.
Slender legs droop gracefully behind, silver droplets falling onto a trail of widening circles on the muddy shallows where small fish and water birds scatter.
Keeping low, powerful down-curved wings pulse with slow deliberate strokes while a black river-bound spirit scurries beneath, pursuing her across the restless water.
Gathering speed, she climbs, working for altitude until turning to a chosen heading, massive weapon folded back, into a streamlined sheath and with wings-beats calmed for cruising flight, she rapidly vanishes into the river haze.
Alone in the moody stillness of Africa, I am left disturbed by the knowledge that one day - she’ll not return. - - © WW Schwim Goliath Heron - Ardea Goliath. While still resident on some of the larger rivers of Southern Africa, the largest living heron in the world, is now threatened by human invasion of it’s habitat.This is what she looks like;
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Mar 6 10, 08:10
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 698
Joined: 29-May 06
From: US East Coast
Member No.: 185
Real Name: Peggy Harwood
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:just wandered in
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Hi Wally, This type of writing is so difficult in my opinion, and you 've done the noble bird proud with your fine descriptive free verse poem in my humble opinion!!! I struggled for a long time on a poem about a sea gull a few years back and sadly learned that I didn't have the right vocabulary and knowledge of oronothology to do it justice. You, on the other hand, have more than excelled, I believe. I enjoyed the poem!!! Peggy
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Guest_ohsteve_*
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Mar 6 10, 14:01
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Guest
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Wally, wonderfully descriptive, with such a sad note to end on, however true it might be. All we can do is keep on fighting for mother nature.
Steve
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Mar 6 10, 14:18
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 783
Joined: 24-July 07
From: South Africa
Member No.: 457
Real Name: Walter Schwim
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Mistral
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Dear Peggy,
Thanks for those kind words on this simple sketch. I'm sure your seagull poem will one-day reach fruition. Your vocab is as good as anyone's and technical knowledge of the subject although helpful is not a prerequisite for successful poetry. Just write what your eyes see and your heart tells you.
Hugz,
Wally
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Mar 6 10, 14:23
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 783
Joined: 24-July 07
From: South Africa
Member No.: 457
Real Name: Walter Schwim
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Mistral
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Steve,
Thank you for popping in. Yes, nature conservation is both a delight and a sorrow for me. Delight in experiencing wildlife first hand and sorrow in watching it being systematically decimated by uncaring or ignorant humans.
Cheers,
Wally
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Mar 10 10, 04:24
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,621
Joined: 18-August 05
From: Johannesburg, South Africa
Member No.: 127
Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Jox
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Wally~ I am African and have gazed at birds taking off, with wonder but, you have captured the calculated flight image with incredible dexterity. You have captured every feather shifting into that flight. This is an excellent poem. You really have a gift for the written word. I would like to share this poem with my budding poet uncle if I may? He is a nature lover and he will enjoy this poem and it will inspire him to write more. What amazes me is your pace you achieved in this poem. It was unhurried. Just like the flight of the Ardea. I cant see any crits at present. I am just in sheer wonderment of the poetic prowess! Well done! You must be very proud! Bev
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Mar 10 10, 19:12
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Mosaic Master
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 4,599
Joined: 4-August 03
From: Birmingham, England
Member No.: 12
Real Name: Eira Needham
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Hi Wally This is truly an inspiration and I'm so glad you posted it. Your imagery is perfect, leading to a very poignant end - I'll have to come back again for another look. I can see nothing I'd change on first read. Hugs Snow ps: loved the pictures too - especially the 1st one.
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Guest_Oludpoet_*
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Apr 3 10, 23:49
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Guest
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Wally the Great,
I missed you in action not because you are not active but because I am less active I hope you are better now and can move around freely I convinced myself strongly long time ago that nothing can hold you down. Thanks for your contributions to my poetry development.
This poem is perfect like every of your other poems and the picture is excellent.
This season may all your heart desires be granted.
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Apr 4 10, 01:26
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Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 743
Joined: 3-February 09
From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK
Member No.: 754
Real Name: Leonora Wyatt
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:No one at all
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Good morning Wally - I don't often stray into the free verse section - but I took the risk today, and was delighted by your word picture, (almost natural history, word movie) of the fiight of the Great Heron - I could see it so clearly - her majestic dignity and her total comand of the air! Then I scrolled down to the pictures of the birds I'll never see. I am so glad I popped in for a visit! Hugs, Leo
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Apr 4 10, 07:17
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 271
Joined: 21-July 07
From: somewhere twixt 'n' tween
Member No.: 456
Real Name: Sam Richmond
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:N/A
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Departure of Ardea (When the Heron Flies)
Thank you for the subtitle.
Ardea Goliath, the giant heron
From the gleaming sandbank, a dark, hunched valkyrie I would add the coma, up to you. patiently contemplates the wind.
I greatly admire your knowledge of larger birds. They need the facing wind to take off.
Glossy goliath wings, spread abruptly skyward; Momentarily she stoops, then - leaping into the air, sheds the earth-ties of gravity.
Again to my mind, very accurate. This is exciting.
Slender legs droop gracefully behind, silver droplets falling onto a trail of widening circles on the muddy shallows where small fish and water birds scatter.
Beautiful interlude, brought a big smile.
Keeping low, powerful down-curved wings pulse with slow deliberate strokes while a black river-bound spirit scurries beneath, pursuing her across the restless water.
My perceptions is: The spirit is the shadow. Again very good description.
Gathering speed, she climbs, working for altitude.Looong sentence, I might have chopped it. turning to a chosen heading, massive weapon folded back, into a streamlined sheath and with wings-beats calmed for cruising flight, she rapidly vanishes into the river haze.
Alone in the moody stillness of Africa, I am left disturbed by the knowledge that one day - she’ll not return.
This speaks volumes of the destiny of so many of our wild creatures. Your write is a tremendous tribute to this heron. The pics were much enjoyed as well.
'rum
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Values are to integrity as spirit to spirituality ... the one is needed that the other is sustained ~ Sam MM Award Winner
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Apr 4 10, 10:51
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 783
Joined: 24-July 07
From: South Africa
Member No.: 457
Real Name: Walter Schwim
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Mistral
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Thank you all for reading and your appreciated comments.
I am glad to have have shared a tiny piece of my experience through in this modest sketch.
4rum, thanks for those suggestions, that sentence is indeed too long.
Stay well my friends,
Wally.
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