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January 2007 IBPC Nominations, IBPC Nominations for February comp |
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Jan 10 07, 19:07
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Thanks Don! I've edited your revision up top for you. Please let us know if you make any more revisions to this piece so we can keep the post accurate. Cheers ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Jan 10 07, 19:11
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Permission PM sent Congrats!
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Jan 10 07, 19:39
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Thank you Snow, and I have to say a thank you for Cathy too, she was about to nominate it and asked if I would mind as it was still under revision, and I asked her to wait till the final revisions were up. So both of you have made me very excited and humbled that you think this is worthy enough to nominate! Thank you, Snow, Cathy and Lori for the support through out each of my poems revision process and growth. No poem becomes worthy without your keen eyes, creative minds and encouragement. Hugs, Liz PS Permission Granted! LOL
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Guest_Don_*
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Jan 11 07, 16:46
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Guest
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Hopefully this will be the winner.
Thank you
Don
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Jan 11 07, 18:47
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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What a lovely poem Liz! This is a winner for sure! Glad I had a chance to read it - will be over to Seren's to comment further soon... Best of luck ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Jan 11 07, 22:37
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Thank you Don and thank you Lori,
It is an older poem, with the help of some good friends at MM, it is improving! :) Thank goodness for critique forums, huh? ...
We've got so many great poems up for nomination, no matter which ones represent Mosaic, I can assure you...someone will be taking notice of them...
Hugs, Liz
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Jan 13 07, 19:29
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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See above for updated revisions... THanks
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Guest_Don_*
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Jan 13 07, 19:42
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Guest
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How about changing: watching her sleep- to dreaming in sleep--
Don
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Jan 13 07, 20:46
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Hi Don, Although it changes my intent for the line, it does open my mind up to further consider another passage for the line. However, your suggestion would repeat the build up of L6 within that stanza. I will be looking into freshing that area up some! Thanks for your thoughts Don, and continuous support! Perhaps you might want to revisit this in Seren's for a further critique... Big Hugs, Liz
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Jan 14 07, 04:05
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Creative Chieftain
Group: Centurion
Posts: 2,587
Joined: 9-August 03
From: Australia
Member No.: 17
Real Name: John
Writer of: Poetry
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Christmas Recall
She waits patiently listening for hurried hooves on rooftops with bells softly jingling, but hears the pounding of her neglected heart in the frostiness of December’s air.
Her hands purple and chapped are placed over a small fire she carefully keeps going as she furiously rubs to generate feeling.
Through faint colors of red, green and speckles of gold a surge of contentment warms her insides as she harks back to Christmas lights covering the curved bushes in front of her childhood home, a slight smile widens her serious face.
She closes her eyes and breathes deeply the smells of peppermint, spice, pine and cinnamon, scents reminiscent of family, of moments savored.
Her fantasy is soon replaced by sounds of gunshots, a dwindling fire shared in a rusted barrel, city lights fading into the darkness of an unfeeling night and the stench of decaying garbage permeating the infected air, but like the magic of the season, she holds on to a sliver of hope
I think the way Linda developes the reader from normality to reality, through the suttle acceptance of life,is very well documented.
A talented expression.
Regards,
John.
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Jan 14 07, 06:28
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,621
Joined: 18-August 05
From: Johannesburg, South Africa
Member No.: 127
Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Jox
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QUOTE (Arnfinn @ Jan 14 07, 11:05 ) Christmas Recall
She waits patiently listening for hurried hooves on rooftops with bells softly jingling, but hears the pounding of her neglected heart in the frostiness of December’s air.
Her hands purple and chapped are placed over a small fire she carefully keeps going as she furiously rubs to generate feeling.
Through faint colors of red, green and speckles of gold a surge of contentment warms her insides as she harks back to Christmas lights covering the curved bushes in front of her childhood home, a slight smile widens her serious face.
She closes her eyes and breathes deeply the smells of peppermint, spice, pine and cinnamon, scents reminiscent of family, of moments savored.
Her fantasy is soon replaced by sounds of gunshots, a dwindling fire shared in a rusted barrel, city lights fading into the darkness of an unfeeling night and the stench of decaying garbage permeating the infected air, but like the magic of the season, she holds on to a sliver of hop
Hi John~
Is there something missing from the line above?
PP
I think the way Linda developes the reader from normality to reality, through the suttle acceptance of life,is very well documented.
A talented expression.
Regards,
John. I agree this is a very delicate poem with a huge amount of fantasy and reality!
PP
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Jan 14 07, 12:29
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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I agree! I will send Lindi the permission PM now... A poignant piece!
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Jan 14 07, 12:48
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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This is a beautiful poem! :) Congratuations on the nomination! Good choice John!
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Jan 15 07, 12:11
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,117
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Thank you, y'all! I've now posted a third revision to this one. Should Snow post it to her original link, or will it be picked up in Hermes? needin' Light for the procedure, Daniel
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Jan 15 07, 13:00
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Daniel, please post your revision in this thread so we can update the initial posting.
Thanks
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Jan 15 07, 20:00
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,117
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Wait… Listen in Silence
Waiting
so we might see
what his clenched fingers cry
through flared nostrils… pain-shaded eyes
whispering with shoulder-shrugs… her bowed head
daring hope with a hopeless glance.
Patient—we must sit… still
to feel what’s been
weighting.
Listen
for heaven’s sake—
hearing’s more than data
we chug in through our fax machine;
as we transfer, processing, we translate
codes shrouded in sinew and veins;
pathos pours forth, bristling
when we truly
listen.
Silent
eyes breathe warm trust
through tight-shuttered windows
shattered from storms still a mem'ry,
duct-taped over with bloodied gauze curtains;
they'll give Light when the power’s off,
warmth to a brick-cold hearth,
Love that won’t stay
silent.
© MLee Dickens'son 04 Jan 2007 [ Daniel J Ricketts ]
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Jan 16 07, 15:04
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,250
Joined: 2-August 03
From: USA
Member No.: 7
Writer of: Poetry
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I would like to nominate this wonderful poem. Four Old Women Four old women down by the shore stroked by waves constant and pure. Foaming flounces fondling fat feet tickling tanned toes, under each seat. Busy blue water poking rock places, frothy white rides stoic staircases. Salt shouted spray wafts to wet chins then sinless drips to skirts and shins. . Creamy cascades, downy edges, dank and green draining stone ledges. Rush and tumble, down at a rate— high crescendo with loud debate. . Women dance in the fire of sun, swollen waves run, roll, and re-run. Sheer scarped, sinuate, steeped shades, tall citadels— bent colonnades. Sough the echoes, sough the sound… Hear the echoes— echoes— rebound. Hear the thunder—the mighty pound Women, feel the pound, hear the sound. © John Macleod 2005 original stanza 4: Women dance in the fire of sun, swollen waves run— roll, and re-run. Sheer scarped sinuate steeped shades citadels, ring, bent colonnades.
This post has been edited by Cleo_Serapis: Jan 19 07, 08:12
Reason for edit: Revised S4 per request
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Jan 16 07, 15:06
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,250
Joined: 2-August 03
From: USA
Member No.: 7
Writer of: Poetry
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Thank you to everyone who commented on my poem.
:)
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Jan 16 07, 20:41
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Hey Lindi. When ya have a sec, can you PM me back those answers to the questionnaire for IBPC? If you want, I can resend it - just let me know. Congrats on this nomination! ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Jan 16 07, 20:51
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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An excellent nomination Lindi! I've sent the permission PM to John Congrats!
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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