 The Lament of Mrs. Claus, Finalist |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> MMHC (Holiday Classic) -> Halls of Montezuma  |
  Nov 12 05, 18:23
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#1
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 Assyrian  Posts: 203 Joined: 3-August 03 Member No.: 11 Real Name: Beth Writer of: Poetry  |
The Lament of Mrs. Claus
Most people celebrate this time of year but it brings me nothing but grief! All chaos breaks loose; the elves run amuck - so that's why I need some relief. I bury my woes in cookies and cake - and more candy than you've ever seen. They may call me "lard-ass" behind my back or joke that my backside's bovine... But I've got good reason to whine and gripe. I'm telling you that you would too. If you had to deal with this Christmas crap, you butt would be gigantic, too! So gimme a break and shut your face. Kill all those giggles and stares. You'd better watch out or you may find that your Christmas wish won't stand a prayer cuz I've got the power and I hold the key for the list of who's naughty or nice. I can make your life a living hell or make it pure paradise cuz this lard-assed lady's the only one who answer's St. Nick's booty call - so if you are smart, you'll say I look great or you ain't gonna get nothing at all!!! ·······  ·······I am who I am.
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Nov 12 05, 19:44
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#2
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Thank you for your Holiday entry! :holly:
Best of luck to you! :dove: May the 'classic' holiday spirit be shared in your heart throughout the season! :blueorn: ~ Mosaic Musings Staff :knight: :pharoah: :viking: :vic: :troy: :roman: :cali: :tut: :knight: ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner           |
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Nov 12 05, 22:20
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#3
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 Greek Posts: 624 Joined: 6-August 03 From: Texas Member No.: 15 Real Name: Marcia Writer of: Poetry & Prose |
Oh, now this one is a riot ! ~laugh~ Makes me seriously consider what it would be like to have your husband work at home; to be home 24 hours a day for 364 days of the year. No children, but a house full of mischievious elves. Also, a barn of reindeer to care for every day.
What a woman ! Poor woman ! This one was enormous fun. I'll be laughing for a while. Marcia 
······· ·······"...We are born into the world like a blank canvas
and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece..." 1981 Javan (from the book " Meet Me Halfway" ) MM Award Winner |
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Nov 13 05, 01:02
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#4
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 Ornate Oracle Posts: 3,822 Joined: 3-August 03 From: Florida Member No.: 10 Real Name: Elizabeth Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori Kanter |
Oh :jester: I have tears in my eyes! I haven't laughed and giggled that hard and that long in too long. THank you! That was delightful and naughty. An unusual look at the behind the scenes of Santa-but quite a stirring ` it reads like a song, I actually found myself bopping up and down to the beat of the poem. So muched enjoyed this and will certainly be back to do it again!
 Ok, guys ... give her a couple of M&M's for makin' me ache in the tummy! Hugs, Liz ... ······· ·······Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!
MM Award Winner   |
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| Guest_Nina_* |
Nov 13 05, 01:07
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#5
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Hi Nef
A most chucklesome poem. Mrs Claus is definitely in charge. I can just imagine her bossing Santa around, organising him. She holds the reins. Much enjoyed. Good luck in the competition. Nina |
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Nov 13 05, 12:13
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#6
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Assyrian Posts: 203 Joined: 3-August 03 Member No.: 11 Real Name: Beth Writer of: Poetry |
Thanks all! Sadly, this is how my warped brain works! And I must attribute the inspiration to Liz! If we hadn't talked, I would have just sat on my very large complacent behind and done nothing but contemplate the possibility of writing something for Lori's contest! LOL! SO, Relli, this one was for you for reminding me what it's like to have somebody fun in my life!
Big Hugs! B. PS Wrote a nice, little cliched poem - much like what my mother would write - to try to redeem my mystchievious ways! LOL! ······· ·······I am who I am.
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| Guest_Cathy_* |
Nov 13 05, 17:19
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#7
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LOL I have'nt laughed this hard in a while! This is priceless!
I can just see Mrs Claus waddling around the kitchen with an enormous booty knocking things over as she tries to turn around for something. Good luck with the competition! Cathy 
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 Nov 14 05, 10:35
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#8
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 Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,802 Joined: 24-April 04 From: Connecticut Member No.: 58 Real Name: Ron Jones Writer of: Poetry |
Dear Nef,
Some poetry just forces the smile on the face of the reader that was there on the writer as it was written. This is a classic example! Cheers, Ron jgdittier ······· ······· |
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Nov 14 05, 17:49
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#9
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Assyrian Posts: 203 Joined: 3-August 03 Member No.: 11 Real Name: Beth Writer of: Poetry |
Thanks Cathy and Ron! Yeah, Poor Mrs. Claus gets the short end of the stick, I'd say! LOL! I don't think it's all rosey cheeks and twinkling eyes!
Well, I'm off to make some more mystchief after I police my 2nd grader and her homework. (Ya know, these are the things you DON'T thing about when contemplating having a wittle bitty tweety paced baby! :p Hugs, B. ······· ·······I am who I am.
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Dec 4 05, 08:10
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#10
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Congratulations! :blueorn: This submission has been nominated as a finalist in the Second Annual Mosaic Musings Holiday Classic!  Best of luck! :holly: ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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Dec 4 05, 16:33
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#11
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Assyrian Posts: 203 Joined: 3-August 03 Member No.: 11 Real Name: Beth Writer of: Poetry |
Awe, thanks! I guess sitting on my large behind is finally paying off! LOL!!! I think I'll celebrate by eating the cookie dough in the fridge! LOL! Thank goodness for overalls!
······· ·······I am who I am.
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| Guest_Cathy_* |
Dec 5 05, 08:32
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#12
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Congratulations #2! *smiles*
Good luck! 
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Dec 5 05, 13:19
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#13
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Assyrian Posts: 203 Joined: 3-August 03 Member No.: 11 Real Name: Beth Writer of: Poetry |
Thanks Cathy! You 2!!! Oh the suspsense is killing me! I hope it will last! LOL!
Big Hugs, B. ······· ·······I am who I am.
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Dec 6 05, 11:28
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#14
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Greek Posts: 624 Joined: 6-August 03 From: Texas Member No.: 15 Real Name: Marcia Writer of: Poetry & Prose |
Best of luck with this entry, too. Now aren't you glad Lori cracked the whip and made you compose some holiday poems ? ~laugh~
Marcia
······· ·······"...We are born into the world like a blank canvas
and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece..." 1981 Javan (from the book " Meet Me Halfway" ) MM Award Winner |
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Dec 6 05, 12:40
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#15
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Assyrian Posts: 203 Joined: 3-August 03 Member No.: 11 Real Name: Beth Writer of: Poetry |
Hey Marcia!
Thanks a gazillioin! LOL! Yeah, that Lori! If it weren't for her, I'd given up writing completely! This is the 2nd time she's yanked me outta retirement! LOL! So, any and all blame for my spewings shall be placed upon her head! LOL! Big Hugs, B. ······· ·······I am who I am.
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Dec 6 05, 13:09
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#16
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 8,877 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
Wow, this is impressive !! Two finalist poems !! And very funny ones, too, and so well written.
Congrats ! Sylvia :snowflake: :dove: ······· ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner    |
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Dec 6 05, 13:37
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#17
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Assyrian Posts: 203 Joined: 3-August 03 Member No.: 11 Real Name: Beth Writer of: Poetry |
Gee, thanks Sylvia! You're making my head swell up! Now, as far as 2 in the finals, I can only blame that on Lori's penchant for warped humor! There is no accounting for taste! LOL!
Thanks Sylvia and have a great holiday season! Big hugs, Beth ······· ·······I am who I am.
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Dec 6 05, 14:04
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#18
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 8,877 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
HAHAHA.... Lori's warped sense of humor !! That's great, Beth !!
You too, have a lovely holiday season ! Hugs, Sylvia :dove: ······· ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Dec 6 05, 14:52
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#19
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Assyrian Posts: 203 Joined: 3-August 03 Member No.: 11 Real Name: Beth Writer of: Poetry |
I tell ya Sylvia, that Lori...:D She seems all meek, mild and sensitive on the surface - writing such lovely things and taking such pretty photos - but deep down.....:D She eggs me on. Enough said! LOL!
Big Hugs, B. ······· ·······I am who I am.
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Dec 7 05, 22:02
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#20
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 3,822 Joined: 3-August 03 From: Florida Member No.: 10 Real Name: Elizabeth Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori Kanter |
Congratulations Little Miss...
I am excited for you and each of your final nominations. Both are well deserviing... Good luck in the finals... Big Hugs, Liz ······· ·······Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!
MM Award Winner |
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