Eyes Wide Shut in a Dentist's Chair, Inspired by Psyche's "Last Man" Options

[Guest_Tao_*]

Eyes Wide Shut in a Dentist's Chair

The work goes on;
only half my mouth is numb,
grind of monotonous drill,
posters on the ceiling,
oculus retreating.

My dental hygienist said,
“Did you hear, Superman’s dead?”
Replied detracted dentist,
“Told you, there is no Superman.”
Succinctly put, Fred.

The indestructible’s fallen from his horse,
which is not to say he’s fallen on his sword,
no more, no mores.
A perfectly blunt sentiment -
There is no Superman.

What instrument of accident
befell Mark Antony then,
stale tears did Octavius shed?
He had fallen on his sword…
from his horse.
Fling scrutiny upon the comparison.

First of the millennium had gone,
a year like clockwork, still orange,
but Reeve, Kubrick and Ritter,
the harmless comic fritter,
men with God-given talent,
they’re just not anywhere here.

I miss gurgling and spitting
that spared me this grainy feeling
(they don’t rinse me anymore),
and milk by the door in glass jars
filled with wholesome percentage yaw,
when caped crusaders only feared
Kryptonite of fictive planet far.

My dentist bores his craft, bored.
In his chair, I’ll never get a word.
Can you read my mind?
The world goes on;
only half my heart is numb.


* * * * *
Footnotes: Christopher Reeve played Superman in the movies, the theme song to the first of which was "Can You Read My Mind?" Superman is arguably the greatest comic hero in the US.

John Ritter was a perennial (ironic) TV personality. Stanley Kubrick was a master movie maker whose credits among others include 2001, Clockwork Orange, Dr. Strangelove, Barry Lyndon, Paths of Glory, Spartacus, The Shining, Lolita and his last (complete) film – Eyes Wide Shut.

[Guest_Jox_*]

David,

This (mine) is a totally useless post I'm afraid. I came to crit but I'm phobic about this subject - can't even get beyond first few lines. So best luck, old chap and I'll look-out for your next.

Cheerio for now, James.

[Guest_Tao_*]

Hi J,

I too was phobic of the subject, until fear of my ability to chew supplanted it.

Actually, the first stanza/verse is the only reference to the profession, if only you had gone past it. I assure you, the bulk of this piece has little to do with dentistry. Once more onto the breach?

David

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi David,

Thanks for the invitation. I shall try with three of your verses.

I am rather confused - though, thanks for the footnotes; they do help. I have had to leave a couple of verses so I hope these comments help - but they may be out-of -context. Sorry!

The indestructible’s fallen from his horse,
which is not to say he’s fallen on his sword,
no more, no mores.
A perfectly blunt sentiment - {Clever use of 'blunt' juxtaposed to 'sword'}
there is no Superman. {Suggest capital T - for impact}

What instrument of accident
befell Mark Antony then, {omit 'then'}{Add '?'}
stale tears did Octavian shed?
He had fallen on his sword…
from his horse.
Fling scrutiny upon the comparison. {Brain-dead - didn't understand this}

First of the millennium had gone,
a year like clockwork, still orange, {semi-colon after clockwork, maybe?}
but Reeve, Kubrick and Ritter,
the harmless comic fritter, {fritter?? as in fritter-away?}
men with God-given talent,
they’re just not anywhere here. {omit 'anywhere' maybe - makes more impact?}

Sorry, David, this is quite inadequate but I hope it helps a little.
James.

[Guest_Tao_*]

Hi David,

The indestructible’s fallen from his horse,
which is not to say he’s fallen on his sword,
no more, no mores.
A perfectly blunt sentiment - {Clever use of 'blunt' juxtaposed to 'sword'}
there is no Superman. {Suggest capital T - for impact}

Good idea! Will do.

What instrument of accident
befell Mark Antony then, {omit 'then'}{Add '?'}
stale tears did Octavian shed?
He had fallen on his sword…
from his horse.
Fling scrutiny upon the comparison. {Brain-dead - didn't understand this}

"Then" meant "the past" here, in Anthony's time. I'm making fun of my own comparison, which refers back to "fallen from his horse" and "fallen on his sword." I'm analogizing the indifference and facetiousness in my dentist's and Octavian's remarks, in both cases upon the death of someone.

First of the millennium had gone,
a year like clockwork, still orange, {semi-colon after clockwork, maybe?}
but Reeve, Kubrick and Ritter,
the harmless comic fritter, {fritter?? as in fritter-away?}
men with God-given talent,
they’re just not anywhere here. {omit 'anywhere' maybe - makes more impact?}

Semicolon may be good there, a bit of a long sentence. Fritter as in cookie, fruity pastry the comic was. Kind of like anywhere, will consider.

Sorry, David, this is quite inadequate but I hope it helps a little.
James.

Very helpful. Thank you.

I think I've been reading too much Eliot lately or watched too many art films, becoming cryptic. This piece is about the death of an iconic idea, the callousness around us and a lament for simpler days. Don’t know about the UK, but milk is now sold in eight varieties here at the market: 1%, 2%, low fat, non-fat, skim, Vitamin D and others I can’t even name.

The entire thing is a metaphor of a semi-conscious life as relating to the sedated condition during a dental procedure. It really began with the dentist's actual conversation. :)

Does this help make sense of it?

In the room the women come and go...

David

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi David and Thanks.

I simply could not revisit the first verse nor the last two, sorry - so I missed anything to do with the dental aspects. (I did warn you!)

Fritter / Cookie - both American terms in this sense. We do now have cookies over here - but it is not used as a general term for biscuit; just a specialist type of biscuit. As regards "fritters" - potato fritters are bought from fish and chip shops, as are pea fritters, bake bean fritters and other delicacies (ugh). The only sweet fritters I can think of are pineapple and banana - also available from some chip shops. All these are the basic ingredient covered in greasy batter. Thoroughly recommended for anyone in search of extra cholesterol. In some Scottish fish and chip shops they offer - wait for it... Mars Bar fritters - yes Mars Bars - take a look if you don't believe me!BBC Link Here

Milk - several varieties in most supermarkets here (may be more I haven't thought of).. Full-Cream, Semi-Skimmed, Skimmed (all available as fresh or UHT); Gold Top (which is full cream from Channel Isles cows - extra creamy), Chocolate, Strawberry, Banana, Soya, Goat's... There may be more but no one cares so that will do.

For the record, I was not sedated in a dentist's chair during my final visits - nothing so brave; I had to be admitted to hospital for general anaesthetics - now that is phobia! :)

I did understand the lament for the greener grass of simple times past. Since I missed the torturer's initial conversation, I was on something of a losing wicket from the first ball. Nevertheless, the middle verses look promising to me.

Good luck!

[Guest_Tao_*]

Hi J,

Those fritters could be fretfully frightful! As for milk, oh no, all eight varieties I mentioned were non-flavored milk. Once upon a time, there were only white and chocolate.

That's quite all right. I understand the phobia. To me, steel and enamel (there's that paint again) just don't mix well, especially in the month. It's probably a waste of time to invite you to my "Angel of Dread" post right here in Homer's Homilies. Yep, another trip to the dentist! But in that case, it's free verse and much less graphical.

David

[Psyche]

Oooooh, David, i didn't imagine you'd get inspired under the drill by my Last Man...  :laugh:  :laugh:   You've got this knack of taking a step sideways and looking at a subject from a different angle....no more nor less than from the dentist's chair  :ghostface:
Very good indeed, i can't say i have any objections except that perhaps u wander around in time and space a bit much for one poem !!  :laugh:  Makes it difficult to know exactly which axe u want to grind... but i certainly miss the old bottles of pure milk, and what's more, i've been searching recently for some yoghurt without ANY flavour, no sugar or aspartame, no additives of any kind. Not possible, gone with the wind... :)  shall have to learn to make my own, but i dislike those wiggly wormy things naturists use  :ghostface:
Well, it's a blessing that only half your heart is numb, is it not?
Right on !
Hugs,
Psyche  :pilgrim:  :pilgrim:

[Ephiny]

Good morning  :wave:

I've read this a few times..it's just superb :pharoah2

What I really love about this..before even getting to the subject..is how you took an event and wrote your own story around it, rather than writing about the subject in general..which is why I also really enjoyed Sylvia's piece on the same subject..both just beautiful in very different ways  :wizard:

Well, I used to be quite phobic about the dentist but wearing a brace for two years with regular check-ups cured me..it was a sink or swim situation!!  Hate when the dentist asks questions just at the times when you so obviously cannot physically reply!!!!!

I think the repetition of the references to some of his films and the horse and sword are really striking..I think he would really have loved this poem, by the way.  I also LOVE the stanza

First of the millennium had gone,
a year like clockwork, still orange,
but Reeve, Kubrick and Ritter,
the harmless comic fritter,
men with God-given talent,
they’re just not anywhere here. beautifully nostalgic and poignant

And I love the final lines as well...excellently done.
This is a marvellous tribute (great title also!)

[Guest_Zeus˛_*]

David,
clever way to divert ones mind from the onslaught of the drill. Albiet the
subject is a little offbeat, but nevertheless of value. The remembrance of (Superman's) passing tied in with other long gone performers and their accomplishments serves the purpose well.
Larry

[Guest__*]

Dear David,

this poem is a lot better than the film referred to in the title.

Mot that that is saying much. The pic went on and on without getting anywhere, held one there in the hope of getting an explanation, come to think of it, just like
200000000001, and Space Bore.

I agree that there may be too much rambling in the subject matter of the poem, one needs at least 1/2 a classical education to keep up !

Love
Alan

[Guest_Tao_*]

Thank you, Psyche, Ephiny, Zeus, Alan, and again Jox, for all your thoughtful remarks on this one.

Tao

[Guest_Cathy_*]

I would have to agree that most of this poem doesn't have much to do with dentistry.  Unless of course the 'thoughts' going through your mind while in that chair count.  And I guess they should.  I don't like dentists so I had a time getting through this.  lol

Cathy

[Guest_Tao_*]

Thank you for your feedback, Cathy.

David