 The Ravin' |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Poetry Exhibition -> Plato's Pearls of Wisdom  |
 Oct 30 06, 07:54
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#1
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 18,865 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori  |
 The Ravin’ Oft I dream, my body shakin’; worried wife cannot awaken. Though I’m safe abed, she’s anxious; twice I’ve fallen on the floor. Once she woke me from my slumber… seems I swore… a nasty number! 3 AM today, while tremblin’, something nearly soiled my drawers. What’s that high-pitched screeching, screeching? She’s awake now and beseeching, “Dear, what is that awful shrieking? Peek inside the closet door! Only this, and nothing more!” “Why don’t you? You are awake now… and of course you have the know-how; must be Ollie trapped inside there; stupid cat’s behind the door.” “No, it’s something else,” she worried; still she wished that I had scurried. “Hurry up; get up, you crazy, lazy lump… but watch the floor!” Still, I nearly fell… then righted, while she watched, now more affrighted as I stumbled, bleary-sighted toward the stupid closet door… now expecting blood and gore. Tripping over clothes not laundered, step-by-step, in dark I wandered, squandered time as I moved nearer, nearer to the closet door. What’s behind it…? Now I’m fearing… and the fear’s not disappearing! What could be there crying, crying? What’s behind that closet door? Inch-by-inch… then hesitating. Why is she so obligating? She could look herself inside it… I’m a man who’s scared… best hide it! “Don’t you worry!” I implore. Then I feel my body quiver… kidneys, bladder, even liver… it’s gut-wrenching, teeth now clenching; I hear something like a snore. Looking back… my wife is screaming, and behind, a light is beaming, beaming till my eyes are burning… burning fire I can’t ignore. “Turn the light off; I can’t stand it!” I yell back… yes, I demand it! “Wake up, Daniel; stop that screaming!” It was I that I heard snore. ‘Twas a dream, and nothing more. © MLee Dickens’son 30 Oct 2006 ·······  ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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| Guest_Cathy_* |
Oct 30 06, 09:59
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#2
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Hi Daniel,
I just had to stop in and read this again! I've already commented in the Acropolis. I just can't get over how smoothly this flows. It's chucklesome and spooky all at the same time! I enjoy reading it and I will probably be back to read it again. LOL Cat |
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Oct 31 06, 11:31
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#3
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 Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 1,547 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Jeddah, Saudi Arabia Member No.: 13 Real Name: Daniah Writer of: Poetry |
Daniel,
I almost forgot how it's always a treat to read you. Your impeccable style is enriching. Lovely and funnny, with excellent dialogue and descriptions. Enjoyed every screech and the suspense, to the extent that my heart beat so loud in my ears and I shook. :) Awesome read. Dani ······· ·······Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
"A good book is not read and forgotten. It lingers in the mind of the reader, reshaping thoughts, asking new questions, revisiting ancient ones." MM Award Winner  |
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Oct 31 06, 12:45
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#4
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 Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,621 Joined: 18-August 05 From: Johannesburg, South Africa Member No.: 127 Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Jox |
Daniel~
 You are priceless...this is absolutely excellent! It is hilariously funny yet, you had me scared of what you my find in the closet!  Well done and it just rolls of the tongue so easily.  PP ······· ······· |
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Nov 1 06, 07:56
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#5
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 Assyrian Posts: 185 Joined: 3-October 06 From: DFW Texas Member No.: 278 Real Name: Dennis Martin Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Cynthia Neely |
Another good 'un from your Tell Tale Heart! Had me Raven' And it's certianly not one to poek fun at. As scary as Fall around the house of Usher! Had us thinking you were heading into the pit for sure! But then, fortunately, the pendulum swung and were all safe again; like the proverbial gold bug, all snug in our sheets! The Bells will be ringing tintinubaly for this one!
Dennis! ······· ·······Faith is a fine invention
for gentlemen who see, but microscopes are prudent in an emergency! -Emily Dickinson MM Award Winner |
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Nov 2 06, 01:31
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#6
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 Babylonian Posts: 80 Joined: 3-August 04 From: Richfield, Utah Member No.: 74 Writer of: Poetry |
Should have read this one last night for Halloween Daniel, this is highly commendable writing, and what a dream............
WRITE ON!! QUOTE (Siren @ Oct 31 06, 16:31 )  Daniel,
I almost forgot how it's always a treat to read you. Your impeccable style is enriching. Lovely and funnny, with excellent dialogue and descriptions. Enjoyed every screech and the suspense, to the extent that my heart beat so loud in my ears and I shook. :) Awesome read. Dani ······· ·······Jim AKA Rapid-Fire Publisher/Editor of WRITE ON!! Poetry Magazette
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Nov 6 06, 10:04
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#7
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,865 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Cathy @ Oct 30 06, 09:59 ) Hi Daniel, I just had to stop in and read this again! I've already commented in the Acropolis. I just can't get over how smoothly this flows. It's chucklesome and spooky all at the same time! I enjoy reading it and I will probably be back to read it again.  ~ CatThanks for your visit, Cat. This was a fun one to write, actually! deLightin' to deLight, Daniel
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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Nov 6 06, 10:07
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#8
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,865 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Siren @ Oct 31 06, 11:31 ) Daniel, I almost forgot how it's always a treat to read you. Your impeccable style is enriching. Lovely and funnny, with excellent dialogue and descriptions. I am glad that there's something to remember, then, Dani. Thank you so much! Enjoyed every screech and the suspense, to the extent that my heart beat so loud in my ears and I shook. :) Awesome read. ~ Dani It's always a deLight to interact with you, my friend, AH. ~ the other Dani(EL) ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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Nov 6 06, 10:09
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#9
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,865 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Peterpan @ Oct 31 06, 12:45 ) Daniel~ You are priceless...this is absolutely excellent! It is hilariously funny, yet you had me scared of what you may find in the closet! Well done and it just rolls of the tongue so easily. PPOne never knows what may be found in a closet!  Thanks for your visit, my friend! ~ deLightedly, Daniel 
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
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Nov 6 06, 10:11
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#10
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,865 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (TygerTyger @ Nov 1 06, 07:56 ) Another good 'un from your Tell Tale Heart! Had me Raven' And it's certianly not one to poek fun at. As scary as Fall around the house of Usher! Had us thinking you were heading into the pit for sure! But then, fortunately, the pendulum swung and were all safe again; like the proverbial gold bug, all snug in our sheets! The Bells will be ringing tintinubaly for this one! Dennis! Excellent biopic of the works of Poe, Dennis! It's always a joy to interact with you... and to learn from you. deLighting in the process, Daniel
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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Nov 6 06, 10:13
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#11
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,865 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Jim AKA Rapid-Fire @ Nov 2 06, 01:31 ) Should have read this one last night for Halloween Daniel, this is highly commendable writing, and what a dream............ WRITE ON!! Actually, I did read this at the opening of our White Elephant Gift Exchange and Dessert (WEGAD) for our support group on Hallowe'en night, Jim. It seemed to be appreciated... and my wife was there too.  Lightly, Daniel
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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Nov 11 06, 09:11
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#12
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 Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,802 Joined: 24-April 04 From: Connecticut Member No.: 58 Real Name: Ron Jones Writer of: Poetry |
Dear Daniel,
How I missed this one mystifies me! I suppose only the most hardened advocate of perfect ly pure poetry could find negative criticisms to apply to "The Ravin". It perfect from title to finis. This will be the highlight of my Tuesday shut-in reading and you can be assurred I'll read it with every bit of inflection that Mr. Poe would have. Thank-you, thank-you, anticipate many smiles in Watertown, CT. an tuesday around 11:15. Cheers, Ron jgd ······· ······· |
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Nov 13 06, 00:23
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#13
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 Creative Chieftain  Posts: 2,587 Joined: 9-August 03 From: Australia Member No.: 17 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry |
Hi Daniel,
I find this amazing, mate. Poetic purgatory (unquote) No wonder you was a ravin.  Terrific. John.  
······· ·······Arnfinn
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner    |
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Nov 13 06, 06:41
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#14
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,865 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (jgdittier @ Nov 11 06, 09:11 ) Dear Daniel, How I missed this one mystifies me! I suppose only the most hardened advocate of perfectly pure poetry could find negative criticisms to apply to "The Ravin". It is perfect from title to finis. This will be the highlight of my Tuesday shut-in reading, and you can be assurred I'll read it with every bit of inflection that Mr. Poe would have. Thank-you, thank-you, anticipate many smiles in Watertown, CT. on tuesday around 11:15. Cheers, Ron jgd Thank you so much, Ron... but it seems that I too have missed something! Are you going in for an operation tomorrow? You'll be in my thoughts and prayers... and I'm also curious to know where Watertown is. I've been to Watertown, NY, but not CT.  deLighted to learn (even though now I forget about 75% of it), Daniel
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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Nov 13 06, 06:43
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#15
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,865 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Arnfinn @ Nov 13 06, 00:23 ) Hi Daniel, I find this amazing, mate. Poetic purgatory (unquote) No wonder you was a ravin. Terrific.John. I'm so pleased that you like this, my friend! Might I call this a ravin' review ? dancin' Lightly, Daniel
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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| Guest_poeticpiers_* |
Nov 15 06, 08:04
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#16
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Lovely stuff Dan We can laugh about it later but at the time dreams can be more real than reality
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Nov 16 06, 09:15
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#17
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,802 Joined: 24-April 04 From: Connecticut Member No.: 58 Real Name: Ron Jones Writer of: Poetry |
Dear Daniel,
Thanks for the good wishes but the shut-ins are in an elderly home and I read to them monthly. Cheers, Ron jgd ······· ······· |
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 Nov 16 06, 10:43
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#18
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
What a neat response Daniel!
 My fav: Tripping over clothes not laundered, step-by-step, in dark I wandered, squandered time as I moved nearer, nearer to the closet door. What’s behind it…? Now I’m fearing… and the fear’s not disappearing! What could be there crying, crying? What’s behind that closet door? Inch-by-inch… then hesitating. Why is she so obligating? She could look herself inside it… I’m a man who’s scared… best hide it! “Don’t you worry!” I implore. Ya know, I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit, I've never read The Raven yet but I'm certain your parody is spot on in meter and rhyme. Enjoyed - glad it was just a nightmare and your snoring woke up the dead - !Cheers ~Cleo 
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner    |
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Nov 16 06, 17:46
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#19
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,865 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (poeticpiers @ Nov 15 06, 08:04 ) Lovely stuff Daniel. We can laugh about it later, but at the time dreams can be more real than reality. You're so right, Ivor! Thank you for visiting and for your commendation!deLightin' in writin'... though on an enforced break from it, Daniel
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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Nov 16 06, 17:48
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#20
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,865 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (jgdittier @ Nov 16 06, 09:15 ) Dear Daniel, Thanks for the good wishes but the shut-ins are in an elderly home and I read to them monthly. Cheers, Ron jgd Ah, that's a relief, Ron! I do hope they enjoyed the silly read just half as much as I enjoyed writing it! deLightin' in the process, Daniel
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
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