Ripples ***, an image response Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

Ripples

It starts as a ripple, miniscule,
 .
                     g 
                 n
             i
         s
     i
r
 .
and 	
 .
f
    a
        l
           l
              i
                 n
                     g
 .
like the weight of uncertainty 
slapping at surf’s edge.
 .
Instants made to soothe by sound
         caress the psyche 
                 amuse the mind.
 .
Currents of 
C o n f u s i o n
are tossed about
 .
U N T I L
 .
Its buoyancy seeps through.
 .
Ripples become waves
of cosmic change . . .
 .
And the collected tide-pools once
I n c o n s e q u e n t i a l
give way to epic insight
 .
and we are never, ever 
the same again . . .
 .
Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter 04 August 2013

Attached File(s)

 579560.jpg ( 14.8K ) Number of downloads: 0

 

[Larry]

Hi Lori,

I don't usually comment on prosaic pieces but this piqued my interest because of its structure. I presume your piece is referring to an epiphany brought about by some inconsequential instance or thought; some niggling idea that is seemingly unimportant but keeps knocking at the door of recognition for attention.

Thought provoking but I didn't like the "cesspool" analogy. Good ideas seldom come to fruition from filth (IMHO).

Larry

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Larry,

Thanks for stopping by! I don't usually write prosaic pieces, ! Well, I was responding to the image. Being a cancer survivor made me think of that very first moment when I was told they found something on my first mammogram, which I thought initially was inconsequential as no one in my family ever had breast cancer. The 'niggling idea' is what I still face today, even seven years later. I am & feel healthy, my tests are always fabulous, but there is always something knocking at the fear-door, that what-if question. So, I never take anything for granted, live life more fully now and always recognize the need to not get complacent.

Ewwww- yep and cesspools was an afterthought. Ick! I have replaced it with currents (for alliteration). I had 'Swells' before.

Thanks for stopping by!
~Cleo

[Eisa]

Hi Lori

It's so good to see you writing and posting again.

I love this thought provoking piece. Each time I read it seems to take me to another level.

One small nit. Many years ago someone told me that when we write in capitals it means we are shouting. If this is so, you have written UNTIL in capitals and I don't think you mean it to be shouted. Perhaps italics?

Really enjoyed the formatting too.

Snow

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Snow,

It's good to be writing a little poetry again, lol. I am glad you liked this one - its deep and of course has multiple meanings. It may be too far "out there" for some but its all good.

On your nit - I do want to shout that word actually to draw you in further - and I'll ponder that further.

The formatting looks fine in Firefox (what I use) when I used the 'pre' tags but looking at this in IE, it lost the paragraph spacing in between, so I've added white dots to it as separators. I hope it still looks good in FF now, lol!

Thanks for stopping by - I'm still at work and heading home now - 2 hours beyond quitting time, finally!!!!
I'll be back to comment on your newest topic(s) too.

Cheers,
~Cleo

[Psyche]

Hi Lori,

I'm also delighted to see you posting again. And using such a striking format.

It's difficult putting all the dots to get it right...LOL...but from my side of the screen you've succeeded wonderfully.

It's true that caps indicate shouting, but I've read your explanation and think they're fine in this context. You've used several different font sizes and spacing!

First time I've seen you stray from the trodden path in prose-poetry, except for the occasional centering. New start in life? I used to do it long ago, but got harsh critiques, on the whole. Times change, back to experimental poetry...

I like the levels of meaning, but would never have associated this piece with your cancer scare. I certainly understand the niggling fears that may not abandon you. I have plenty of those, I carry them within me, mostly because people don't appreciate "shout-outs" about nasty diseases in social gatherings. You do well to put this into poetry, regardless of whether your readers associate with other stuff of their own. I do!

No nits, Lori, not now. Will return soon if Fibro allows me. There you are, I said it...LOL...I most certainly have niggling fears concerning my progressive syndrome that most docs don't understand. I have a rough draft about pain, but neither will it include the terribly unpoetical word Fibromyalgia!!

(((hugs)))
Syl*** ... and don't stress yourself, Lori. Will that Bose project finish soon?

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Sylvia,

Well, I wanted to do a visual piece because in my mind, given that I do not usually write free verse, the image captured my attention so I wanted to incorporate shape somehow. Even though I did use the pre tags I still had to fiddle with the layout on this text box before getting it right (word to the wise). I'm glad you like the layout. I just indented it once too all around.

I only used one font size actually (thank god else it would have taken forever to post the topic ), but spaced confusion and inconsequential.

Yes, I did stray from my norm with this poem - time will tell if it's a new start, lol! I don't mind harsh crits, as long as they are productive. Yes, times change, back to experimental poetry perhaps.

Well, I am glad you see different levels of meaning in it - that was my intent. As for the inspiration - since it was an image from the stand up to cancer page, that was where my muse went - about how panicked I always seem to be just before my mammograms and the oncologist visits. As I said, I feel well and healthy, but I did BEFORE the cancer too. So once the results are in, then my tip-toeing changes to dance moves for another 6-12 months. I could have added several more lines to this however, I think it makes a point as is - do you?

Ha! I would love to read your poem about "Fibro" (now that's easier to use poetically) :wink: and the associated pain you experience. Such a shame!!

Thanks for stopping in Syl!
This project goes 'live' the weekend of September 14th - and then we (project team and those groups impacted by the changes) will be monitoring to ensure everything is working as expected and designed. LOL! <-- me And then I have another one waiting to begin... Good times!

Cheers,
~Cleo