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> A Trio of Poems
Guest_jitter-bug_*
post Sep 18 05, 09:15
Post #1





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These 3 poems were done as a grade 10 English Lit Creative Writing project.
 
The project was called "bridging the gap" it had to be a set of 3 poems or a single short story that included 2 different generations.  We had the option of doing both if we wanted extra credit - I had both done within 2 days and we had 2 weeks to work on it.  It's funny I don't have the story any more - but it was about when my little brother thre my good tea set out the window when I was 5 or 6 years old.

The third poem very loosely fit the criteria because I mentioned parents right at the end - but the teacher gave it to me anyway - a 175% on that project is probably what brought my grade up to passing that year - I lost 25% because of punctuation and grammer in my story


sun.gif The Tractor Ride

The wheat was tall and golden,
The wind was sweet and cool,
My Grandfather was old and energetic,
The tractor seat was big and round,
My Granfather's touch was soft and warm,
And I was young and excited.
The tractor started with a spit and a sputter,
It moved smoothly and slowly,
It was a long and relaxing ride.
When it stopped,
I was fast asleep,
In my Grandfather's arms.


dragon.gif The Unknown Sight"

The long sleek figure,
Glides through the air.
Children watch with excitement,
Adults look and see nothing there,
What they saw,
I have never known.
For when they saw it,
I had already grown.


queen.gif The Sand Box

The sand box was my heart's delight.
It was just an old black tire,
that was overflowing with sand.
In my sandbox I became God.
I built the world in a day,
And watched it crumble in the rain.
I would build a castle
And be princess for a day.
I would play for hours on end,
And the only time I would climb
Out of my imaginary world,
Would be when my parents
Called me in for lunch.
 
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Guest_Nina_*
post Sep 18 05, 15:25
Post #2





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Hi Jitter-bug

Firstly a very warm welcome to MM.  I hope you are finding your way around OK.  If you have any questions or problems, feel free to PM (private message) me.  You can do that clicking on the send msg button at the bottom of this post.

I think it is lovely that you've have kept the poems written in grade 10 and they deserved the good mark you received for them.  Just one question.  I have no idea of the US or Canadian school system so how old were you in grade 10?

The first poem conveys so well the wonderful close relationship you had with your grandfather.

I really like the second because it shows very well how many adults close their minds to imagination.  

The third also shows that children don't need expensive toys, simple things can fire the imagination and lead to hours of fun.

Thanks for the read

Nina
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Sep 18 05, 16:41
Post #3


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Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,891
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep



Hello Crys and a warm WELCOME TO MM! Newbie.gif PartyFavor.gif Balloons.gif

Glad to see you joining us. There's plenty to do here if you choose to look around in some of our other categories over time. Feel free to ask if you have any questions.  :girl:

When I was a sophomore, I was 15 (Nina). I loved my lit classes but focused on stories back then and really didn't appreciate poetry until my college years (and even moreso now since joining the former PK back in late 2002). This was a great challenge I think for your class. Perhaps, if you wouldn't mind, I could offer a similar challenge here on MM? Idea.gif

Your first poem hits it with remembrances of your grandfather in a farm setting. Your narration style also fits in with your age at that time (5 or 6).

Your second speaks to maturity, growing from chilhood but still maintaining the favorite part of us - imagination. Too bad some adults can't fathom it! They don't know what they're missing! bart.gif

Your closing poem further defines you and where your imagination can take you, as Nina points out, 'without expensive toys'.

Well done Crys and welcome again.
~Cleo  :pharoah:


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

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Guest_Jox_*
post Sep 18 05, 18:24
Post #4





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Hi Crys, Nina, Lori, all

The UK recently (last twenty years) has adopted the north American year system - so "Grade 10" there is the same as "Year 10" here now. (Before that it would be the Fourth Year here). So, yes, 14-15 is the age band. However, Lori, I'm afraid that gives me another question:

What is a "sophamore" please? (Not a term used here).

Thanks! J.
 
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Guest_Jox_*
post Sep 18 05, 18:33
Post #5





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Hi Crys and a big welcome to MM from me, too. Great to see you here - I hope you'll be very happy. As Lori and Nina have said please do shout if you wish to ask anything.

I enjoyed your three poems.

Tractor Ride - I enjoyed the simplistic innocence which it conveys. Quite a tough way to write.

Unknown Sight - This is very sophisticated and uses rhyme very cleverly. However imaginative adults are, few (if any) can see the World as children do and this understated poem evokes that well.

SandBox

Reminds me of my late dogs. We bought them various toys which they completely disregarded. However, we had a number of empty plastic tub containers lying around which they stole and played with for a long time. A toy is what our imagination makes it. Many less complex toys are better because we can make more of them.

A great set thanks for the read and well done. Much enjoyed.

I look forward to reading more of your work on MM in the near future.

Best wishes, James.
 
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Guest_Nina_*
post Sep 19 05, 00:04
Post #6





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Hi Chrys, James

The UK recently (last twenty years) has adopted the north American year system - so "Grade 10" there is the same as "Year 10" here now. (Before that it would be the Fourth Year here). So, yes, 14-15 is the age band.

Thanks James.  I wasn't sure if the year numbers were the same or different to US and it is only as my daughters are moving up through the education system that I'm becoming familiar with the new numbering.

Nina
 
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Guest_jitter-bug_*
post Sep 19 05, 00:26
Post #7





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QUOTE (Nina @ Sep. 18 2005, 16:25)
Hi Jitter-bug

Firstly a very warm welcome to MM.  I hope you are finding your way around OK.  If you have any questions or problems, feel free to PM (private message) me.  You can do that clicking on the send msg button at the bottom of this post.

I think it is lovely that you've have kept the poems written in grade 10 and they deserved the good mark you received for them.  Just one question.  I have no idea of the US or Canadian school system so how old were you in grade 10?

The first poem conveys so well the wonderful close relationship you had with your grandfather.

I really like the second because it shows very well how many adults close their minds to imagination.  

The third also shows that children don't need expensive toys, simple things can fire the imagination and lead to hours of fun.

Thanks for the read

Nina

I would have been 14 or 15 at the time I wrote those - I still have the very first poem I ever wrote when I was in grade 5 (10 yrs old) - it was a very bad haiku
 
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Guest_jitter-bug_*
post Sep 19 05, 00:34
Post #8





Guest






QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Sep. 18 2005, 17:41)
Hello Crys and a warm WELCOME TO MM! Newbie.gif PartyFavor.gif Balloons.gif

Glad to see you joining us. There's plenty to do here if you choose to look around in some of our other categories over time. Feel free to ask if you have any questions.  girl.gif

When I was a sophomore, I was 15 (Nina). I loved my lit classes but focused on stories back then and really didn't appreciate poetry until my college years (and even moreso now since joining the former PK back in late 2002). This was a great challenge I think for your class. Perhaps, if you wouldn't mind, I could offer a similar challenge here on MM? Idea.gif

Your first poem hits it with remembrances of your grandfather in a farm setting. Your narration style also fits in with your age at that time (5 or 6).

Your second speaks to maturity, growing from chilhood but still maintaining the favorite part of us - imagination. Too bad some adults can't fathom it! They don't know what they're missing! bart.gif

Your closing poem further defines you and where your imagination can take you, as Nina points out, 'without expensive toys'.

Well done Crys and welcome again.
~Cleo  Pharoah.gif

cleo,

yes, indeed it was a poetry forum that had really brought me to the full appreciation of poetry - although I had over 40 poems in my book before that I've now got hundreds - no poem is ever discarded - they are all place in my book.

Poem Kingdom was my first large scale forum and I love the style - I actually am running on this and another forum now as well.  They have some excellent writing excersises that I am working on.
 
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Guest_jitter-bug_*
post Sep 19 05, 00:36
Post #9





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QUOTE (Jox @ Sep. 18 2005, 19:24)
Hi Crys, Nina, Lori, all

The UK recently (last twenty years) has adopted the north American year system - so "Grade 10" there is the same as "Year 10" here now. (Before that it would be the Fourth Year here). So, yes, 14-15 is the age band. However, Lori, I'm afraid that gives me another question:

What is a "sophamore" please? (Not a term used here).

Thanks! J.

You beat me to the answer I see - yes I was 14 or 15 at the time.

Sophmore - grade 10
Junior - grade 11
Senior - grade 12
 
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Guest_jitter-bug_*
post Sep 19 05, 00:37
Post #10





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QUOTE (Jox @ Sep. 18 2005, 19:33)
Hi Crys and a big welcome to MM from me, too. Great to see you here - I hope you'll be very happy. As Lori and Nina have said please do shout if you wish to ask anything.

I enjoyed your three poems.

Tractor Ride - I enjoyed the simplistic innocence which it conveys. Quite a tough way to write.

Unknown Sight - This is very sophisticated and uses rhyme very cleverly. However imaginative adults are, few (if any) can see the World as children do and this understated poem evokes that well.

SandBox

Reminds me of my late dogs. We bought them various toys which they completely disregarded. However, we had a number of empty plastic tub containers lying around which they stole and played with for a long time. A toy is what our imagination makes it. Many less complex toys are better because we can make more of them.

A great set thanks for the read and well done. Much enjoyed.

I look forward to reading more of your work on MM in the near future.

Best wishes, James.

Thanks,  I'm glad you liked the read  :cheer:
 
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Guest_Toumai_*
post Sep 20 05, 01:48
Post #11





Guest






Hi Crystal,

Please may I add my welcome to MM and I very much look forward to seeing more of your poetry soon - or some prose. I think your second poem especially is very mature for 10th grade. We run a writing contest for local high school students with my local writers' group and the entries amaze me (since I didn't start till I was in my 30s I have a lots of catching up to do).

btw, I though racoons were black and white, hehe (Love the 'hat' - who is it?)

Enjoy the site

Fran
 
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Guest_jitter-bug_*
post Sep 20 05, 03:15
Post #12





Guest






QUOTE (Toumai @ Sep. 20 2005, 02:48)
Hi Crystal,

Please may I add my welcome to MM and I very much look forward to seeing more of your poetry soon - or some prose. I think your second poem especially is very mature for 10th grade. We run a writing contest for local high school students with my local writers' group and the entries amaze me (since I didn't start till I was in my 30s I have a lots of catching up to do).

btw, I though racoons were black and white, hehe (Love the 'hat' - who is it?)

Enjoy the site

Fran

the hat is my cat Angel :) - I'm glad you liked the read
 
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