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> Sing Little Bird , Sing !
Aggiel
post Oct 28 04, 06:41
Post #1


Creative Chieftain
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From: Sabah, Malaysia
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Cleo,

You are always so encouraging ! Thanks a lot for dropping by.
StarWars1.gif   Wizard.gif  :king:


Lai


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Aggiel
post Oct 28 04, 06:45
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You are right James. The weather is certainly better here. We do have rainy season and monsoon season though and you have your beautiful spring and fall. sun.gif  :smart:


Yes, wee sounds poetry like so I use it quite often.

Nice of you to drop by.


Lai


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Guest_Don_*
post Nov 4 04, 20:07
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Hi friend,

I thought last stanza rhyme was a little forced.

As a whole I enjoyed the wisdom of childlike observations.
It contains a nurturing, fulfilling quality.

The description of what butterflies do not eat and birds do eat is well composed.

Don   pumpkin.gif
 
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Aggiel
post Nov 6 04, 00:35
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Thanks a lot Don for the critiques. You are right about the last stanza. I have rewritten it.  :smart:


All the best  :sun:

Lai


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Cleo_Serapis
post Oct 27 04, 05:22
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Very nice Lai! lovie.gif

I will re-visit this nice song poem often! wolf.gif

Cheers!
Cleo cool.gif


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Guest_Jox_*
post Oct 27 04, 05:52
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Hi Lai,

I like the Scottish aspect - "Wee" but I suspect the weather is better than in Scotland.

I also like the reference to "surreal valley"; underlines the false Disney-like quality; very clever.

James.
 
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Aggiel
post Oct 23 04, 23:04
Post #7


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Sing Little Bird , Sing ! ( EDITED )

                         Come, you birdie that sings with glee
                         The night has passed , the sun is up
                         You must come down the tree to see
                         I've put out some crumbs for you in a cup.

                         Sing , little bird , sing me a song !
                         make me soft and sweet all day long .
                         Soon , I will leave this surreal valley
                         chirp me your tales ; make me merry !

                         Wee butterflies flit among bright flowers
                         red, yellow and pink , after showers .
                         Like you , they need to drink and feed,
                         but do not eat bread crumbs or seed .

                         So little bird , start singing your song .
                         I've waited for your melody late and long .
                         Sing of the mountains , plains and sunrise
                         the  fairies , fresh dews and fireflies.

                         My little bird sings on and on and on .
                        creates  a  dream  for my  new dawn.
                         When   the sun sets  it sings  no more;
                        that's the time when  I close my door.

                          Aggie

Sing Little Bird , Sing ! ( ORIGINAL)

Come, you birdie that sings with glee
The night has passed , the sun is up
You must come down the tree to see
I've put out some crumbs for you in a cup.

Sing , little bird , sing me a song !
make me soft and sweet all day long .
Soon , I will leave this surreal valley
chirp me your tales ; make me merry !

Wee butterflies flit among bright flowers
red, yellow and pink , after showers .
Like you , they need to drink and feed,
but do not eat bread crumbs or seed .

So little bird , start singing your song .
I've waited for your melody late and long .
Sing of the mountains , plains and sunrise
the  fairies , fresh dews and fireflies.

My little bird sings on and on and on .
I sit on my veranda listening , all alone .
My bird will come tomorrow at dawn.
I will be out there  mowing  the lawn.

sun.gif

2oo2 Lai


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