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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011  |
 Aug 1 09, 05:08
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#1
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 Creative Chieftain  Posts: 2,587 Joined: 9-August 03 From: Australia Member No.: 17 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry  |
Baby
Baby, you cannot imagine how much I love you. Yep, I can feel testosterone floating around, niggling and needling the back end of my brain. The boathouse was the hot spot where we blew six hundred dollars in naked serendipity. We giggled as your legs closed behind my neck; I read Bukowski by lamplight… Damn it! I swear your eyes turned to pure violet, in those couple of sighs, as our lips gave a quiver. No need to close eyes. The fantasies of love were a hot topic to be enjoyed, a tingle of the skin— the raising of follicles. I miss you baby, I miss your lopsided smile and crazy blond curly ringlets that fell and rolled back and forward on a full swell of ecstasy. God! That was forty years ago! I love ya baby. Whatever, happened to us! ·······  ·······Arnfinn
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner         |
  
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Aug 1 09, 05:31
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#2
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 Greek  Posts: 698 Joined: 29-May 06 From: US East Coast Member No.: 185 Real Name: Peggy Harwood Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:just wandered in |
Hi John,
Wow! I like the sound of this! I'd only modify or change one thing, the word "indifference." To my mind, I don't think "indifference" can ride on a full swell of anything. What about substituting "ecstasy" or "joi de vivre"? Sounds like a great time!!! Peggy ······· ······· |
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Aug 1 09, 06:15
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#3
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 2,587 Joined: 9-August 03 From: Australia Member No.: 17 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry |
I agree Peg. Will doooooooo. John ······· ·······Arnfinn
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Aug 1 09, 06:53
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#4
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Greek Posts: 698 Joined: 29-May 06 From: US East Coast Member No.: 185 Real Name: Peggy Harwood Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:just wandered in |
John,
Perfecto! Peggy ······· ······· |
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| Guest_ohsteve_* |
Aug 1 09, 14:40
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#5
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John, an interesting memory? And why spend $1,500 to be naked when it can be done for free? Wheres the serendipity in that? Got to love those hormones...lol. I liked it, just was that one part of a little confusion.
Maybe the ending should be.. whatever happened to us... as I am sure you have change as much as she. By the way you just gave me a great idea for a poem. Steve |
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Aug 1 09, 17:16
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#6
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 2,587 Joined: 9-August 03 From: Australia Member No.: 17 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry |
G'day, Peg. Yeah, I made the change and a few others. G'day Steve. Not my experience (worse luck). I was reading (Bukowski) and I've tried to copy his style. I've altered a few glaring errors. John ······· ·······Arnfinn
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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