Treehugger Santa, MMHC 2007 Finalist Options

[JLY]

TREEHUGGER SANTA

Santa's gone mad, I'm told,
he's now soft in the head
and a bit hard in his heart,
his cheeks pale, no longer red.

He's spending too much time
on that damn internet again,
joined a cult with weird ideas,
geeky, weenie ones they spin.

Santa's been rambling of late,
"children are our salvation,
they'll inherit the world someday
saving us from degradation."

He's lost his jolly soul somehow;
I don't get his new practical bit,
he cares more for Mother Nature
then he does for my selfish spirit.

I sat on his lap the other night,
gave him my three page list,
Santa whispered in my ear,
"you don't need these to exist."

I tried my best to get away
but this overweight buffoon
shouted in my surprised face
the toys I needed to prune.

"Think green and healthy,
go natural , get organic,
wood is good" Santa bellowed;
this nonsense has me in a panic.

Green this and green that,
I'm tired of this liberal bent
my beloved Santa now embraces
and is afraid to circumvent.

Global warming is a joke,
the North Pole has ice and snow
give Al Gore a tree to plant,
in a garden to grow; ho, ho, ho.