 No Fun |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren's Synapse  |
 Oct 15 16, 14:15
Post
#1
|
|
 Assyrian  Posts: 256 Joined: 2-November 15 From: Croydon, Surrey Member No.: 5,284 Real Name: Antony Glaser Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Eira Rhaposdy  |
It's unsettling sleeping with you in the dark
only seeing the white of your eyes. This is not the same as feelings. I thought I had done enough inquiring about your children, your son the reticent reader. I bought him a history book. I sense I'm falling through two mattresses. Your's is the cruelest confusion still hankering after your ex. A solitary figure in destruction. I secretly shudder at his framed photograph If only this monochrome world could go, even bleaching your hair could enliven the future. ·······  ·······Imagination fires the soul, resolution the longing.
|
  
|
|
|
Oct 19 16, 01:10
Post
#2
|
|
 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 8,882 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
Very good, Antony!
Original and well expressed. The second stanza is slightly amusing, but all the same one can capture N's suffering throughout. I'd never allow a framed photo of my partner's ex in my bedroom! I'd smash it...  BTW, you need a full stop after photograph. The idea of bleaching her hair to enliven the future is fantastic. Love it. Syl  QUOTE (greenwich @ Oct 15 16, 16:15 )  It's unsettling sleeping with you in the dark only seeing the white of your eyes. This is not the same as feelings. I thought I had done enough inquiring about your children, your son the reticent reader. I bought him a history book. I sense I'm falling through two mattresses. Your's is the cruelest confusion still hankering after your ex. A solitary figure in destruction. I secretly shudder at his framed photograph If only this monochrome world could go, even bleaching your hair could enliven the future. ······· ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner              |
|
|
|
|
Oct 19 16, 04:56
Post
#3
|
|
|
Assyrian Posts: 256 Joined: 2-November 15 From: Croydon, Surrey Member No.: 5,284 Real Name: Antony Glaser Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Eira Rhaposdy |
Thank you for the comments. I think human observational poems have a lot of twists and turns.
······· ·······Imagination fires the soul, resolution the longing.
|
|
|
|
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
|
|
Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 28th April 2024 - 03:29 |
Read our FLYERS - click below
|
| more Quotes |
| ||
|
|
|
|
