Very nice, Richard. Good flow of lines. I like it a lot. Is it related to your accident?
It has a dreamy quality, as of somebody only slightly conscious, perhaps having visions. I might be way off, but what happened to you has stuck in my mind.
You forgot to Cap. "the quiet of an untroubled dawn", as you have a period just before.
That's a silly nit! Have nothing else to criticize.
Tx for sharing, Syl
QUOTE (RC James @ Sep 22 16, 18:29 )
I walked from one avalanche
of complications to another
remembering womens’ lines,
their form.
I was lost, couldn’t be saved,
in that wealth of curves,
concave, convex, those inconsolable depths.
I began thinking of hymns, of lullabies,
as a sound they together gave,
a tribute to themselves.
A feline sound, from lion to kitten,
an idling Maserati engine,
a brook’s gurgling cascade.
the quiet of an untroubled dawn,
a distant siren at times.
I’m getting carried away, gently,
thought takes me, I don’t argue.
The miracle holds me rapt, still,
if I were to try to explain it
thought would deny me.