I wrote the original to this some years ago and I come back to it most years to tweak a bit. This year, I've extended the last stanza as I felt the ending was a bit abrupt. I've also brought it into the present tense
I've just revised the last stanza
This year's revision 2010
Hallowe'en Breakdown
My engine stalls as twilit skies devour the night to tantalize my thoughts. I rush for help. The narrow roadway seems deserted, distant creatures scream ‘til there is hush. Full moon diffuses eerie light where shadows dance and bats take flight. I feel a thrill to spy a cottage through the trees, it’s windows rattle while the breeze is turning chill.
She beckons me with horny finger saying, enter … do not linger there in damp night air. I scan the room and shiver … what a sight! Her cackle quivers as the lamp light flickers, silhouetting vessels on the shelves. I try to wrestle with the crone, who stirs her pot of spooky things, that fire my wild imaginings with flesh and bone.
Outside the wind begins to squall as time ticks loudly on the wall. I struggle free -- and make a dash towards the door, her footsteps echo on the floor not far from me. I reach the window near the lane as light glints through the window pane -- a rooster calls. I trip … into the fire, flames surge; amidst the smoke, I watch her merge into the wall.
------------------------------------ old last stanza
Outside the wind begins to squall as time ticks loudly on the wall. I struggle free and make a dash towards the door, her footsteps echo on the floor not far from me. I reach the window near the lane as light glints through the window pane -- I pray its dawn. Her cauldron crackled churning smoke awhirl, I hear her splutter … choke Bang! … Where’s she gone?
Last revision
My engine stalled when twilit skies engorged the night to tantalize my thoughts. I rushed for help. The narrow roadway seemed deserted, distant creatures screamed … then night was hushed. Full moon diffused an eerie sight where shadows danced and bats took flight. I felt a thrill to spy a cottage through the trees, it’s windows rattling as the breeze was turning chill.
She beckoned me with claw-like finger bade me enter, not to linger long in damp night air. I stepped inside and shivered from sheer dread; her cackle quivered when the lamp light flickered, silhouetting vessels on the shelves. Emotions wrestled with that hag who stirred her pot of secret things, so filled with wild imaginings that made me gag.
Outside the winds began to squall; I heard the clock tick on the wall and prayed for dawn. Her cauldron crackled, churning smoke awhirl, I heard her splutter … choke
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