Threads (revision)*** Changed title, was Sonnet IV., Tweaked a little more*** Options

[Psyche]

Thank you so much, Larry, for reviewing my sonnet. If it's a Hybrid that's OK with me. Means I'm getting somewhere!
The Thalia I mean is one of the Three Graces, she's the patron of pastoral and comedy (or parody) events, talents, etc.
I attempted to show an opposition to the Three Fates, the one's who decide your fate or destiny with a spun thread that's measured and cut to define your future whilst still a babe.
It may not be clear and I intend to work more on this, also taking into account your comments. I could mention the name of one of the Fates...maybe.

In Spanish speaking countries the couplet at the end is seldom used. Jorge Luis Borges wrote sonnets without any spacing at all. Just to give an example.

But if I write in English perhaps I should adhere to your rules.
In a hurry now, but will return to read again all you've said, asap. I get the first information on my tablet, love to read things at breakfast!

Thanks again,
Syl

[Larry]

Hi Syl,

You did mention one of the names of the three Graces. That is where the confusion came in. If you are referring to one of the Moirai or what people call the Fates in English, you might sub Lachesis who is said to allot the time on earth or Atropos who is unturnable in her decisions for "Thalia" and still maintain your meter.

As far as writing in English means you should adhere to "rules". Forget about that! Rules are made to be broken and most are merely guidelines. How else would we have 150+ types of sonnets if everyone followed any set rules. Go for it!

Larry

[Psyche]

Thanks again, Larry.

I've reworked some lines, but just left a note below to show the changes.

I hope I've saved the hybrid style whilst tweaking two lines. It's so easy to mess up!

Please tell me when you have time. 150+ types of sonnets is mind-boggling, nonetheless they must surely follow some sort of order!

Merlin or Daniel pointed out to me that many 3 syllable words are pronounced as if they have 2 syllables. I agree with that, something which would also change the meter.
When I was visiting my brother in England, he said that I sounded foreign because I pronounce words clearly! Which of course reminds me of Prof. Higgins, who heard somebody say about his pupil: "Her English is too good, she must be foreign"...and decided she was Hungarian!

Syl

[Larry]

Hi Syl,

I believe you have maintained the aspects of a "Hybrid Sonnet". Thanks for inserting "spindle" because it clarifies, for me, the constant battle between the Graces and the Fates. Too bad no one delves into more mythological subjects. I think they are an interesting read.

Since your minor changes, a possible title popped into my head. It is, of course, a TOT!

Mull over "Threads" if you would. I know it is brief but there is a duality of meaning which is what struck me.

Good job on the revision. I don't know if it is set in stone in your mind but it sure looks like a finished poem to me.

Larry

[Psyche]

Hi again, Larry,

Thanks so much for commenting on the changes. I had quite a bit of trouble inserting 'spindle', chiefly because I had to make sure that it was correct and would help the reader to understand. I wanted to use "Clotho" but I just couldn't fit her into the meter or end rhyme. Or Athropos or Lachesis. I mean in that line, where 'sound' had its rhyming words all used up.

Yes, I like the title "Threads". I'll sleep on it and decide.

I love mythology. I learnt quite a bit when studying ancient and medieval philosophy. But it's a sideline, not a course in itself. Inevitably, it just can't be ignored. We did have to read Theogony...a treat!

Thanks so much for all your help. I have some sonnets tucked away that'll need a lot of working on, but I'll allow you to have a rest...LOL.

Syl

[Eisa]

Wow! This has come on since I last looked.

I loved the word adamantine and wondered how you'd change it to something more appropriate. Now St1 is just perfect -as is the rest. I've read it through many times an can only think to suggest perhaps change 'and' to 'which' in St1 L4 (but on reflection I'm not sure that makes sense LOL!)

Anyway I am very impressed at your recent sonnet writing skills. Keep it up!

Eira

[Psyche]

Thanks so much for visiting again, Eisa.
Glad you approve now! I believe I did make the change you suggest, but this is now page 2 and I can't see my sonnet from here...LOL.

No sonnet skills, I'm afraid. I intend to bring back one or two I never got right, even with help. They must be in the archives!

Hope to see you posting again.

Syl

Wow! This has come on since I last looked.

I loved the word adamantine and wondered how you'd change it to something more appropriate. Now St1 is just perfect -as is the rest. I've read it through many times an can only think to suggest perhaps change 'and' to 'which' in St1 L4 (but on reflection I'm not sure that makes sense LOL!)

Anyway I am very impressed at your recent sonnet writing skills. Keep it up!

Eira