The Wreck, Self Indulgence Options

[Arnfinn]

The Wreck

She lies on her side, her superstructure
no longer shows the clean lines of her
youth.
The glistening paint, which once drew
admiration, has weathered with age.

Then with a groan, and shifting weight,
she slipped-off-- grey shrouded sheets
flapping.
Skewed--over-the-ledge—stern first—
Half a glass of red wine flung skywards.



Arnfinn

[Peterpan]

Hello John~

I was particularly taken by your last line! WOW! What an incredible image...!

I am in Austria, indoors, but it is snowing outside. We will go down to the village shortly. Just popped in to MM to see how you all are!

Hoping to start writing again after all this physical activity...having a wonderful time with our kids. Our son came here from Tanzania.

Take care and keep up the poetry!

Bev

[Arnfinn]

G'day, Bev,

Good to see your smiling face.

Austria!

Is there still such a country.

A country of romance, waltz's and palaces. Where one can muse,
and have introverted thoughts of charm and elegance.

Sounds like the ideal holiday.

Yes you picked my intention: to write a one line poem.

You have given me the perfect answer.

Regards,


John

[Alan]

Dear John,

Methinks you have taken a very interesting turn in the sort of poetry you write.

Silly me, the first time I read this I thought it was about boats, but on rereading, with the glass of wine in mind, I see a very clever and deep comment brilliantly put.

Only point of nit is that "slipped-off", tho what to do about it escapes me right now.

Love
Alan

[Arnfinn]

G'day, Alan.

Nice to see the (MacAlpine's heritage) bouncing about in their lovely tartan.


How about?

slipped off--grey shrouded sheets
flapping

The colon: does not refer to sheets

Doesn't the years pass quickly.

I'd love to see some of the 'Oldies' back at MM.

There is a better atmosphere now.

There is a lot of fun times to have: interaction.

Good to see in my thread, mate.


John

[Eisa]

Hi John

This is amazing!

I love the double meanings of your words - very cleverly thought out. no nits I can think of, but will call back for another look.

Snow

[saore]

Sometime I feel sorry from fat people who are also elderly. We ridicule them so often, perhaps never realizing how long we will live ourselves, or how often someone else will, without a doubt, make fun of us. In the short story by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, La Candida Erendida y su Abuela Desalmada, Marquez makes fun of an avaricious old woman. I think it was justified, but I find little if any justification for the mocking in this poem. Sorry but this is what I honestly feel. Perhaps the poem is too short and the narrator does not give a clear picture of the subject other than she is old and clumsy.

Sergio

[Arnfinn]

G'day, Snow.


Thank you.


As I told Alan, I've always wanted to write a one-line poem.



John

[Arnfinn]

G'day saore.

Mate, 'The Wreck' is about an alcoholic. Hence the half a glass of wine going
skywards when the lady fell out of bed.

I'm sorry that you interpretated the poem to relate to the obese.

That was not my intention.

Regards,


John

[saore]

her superstructure
no longer shows the clean lines of her
youth.

I guess the words her superstructure threw me off. I knew she was an alcoholic, which these days is considered a disease.

[Siren]

Impeccable descriptions and tone here. Truly enjoyed this read.

Dani

[Arnfinn]

G'day, Dani


Another one bites the dust, (poem).
Thank you.

Regards,


John

[Guest_dflore_*]

the wonderfully wrought visuals make this very satisfying