Nature's Poetry Options

[Guest_Nina_*]

This was posted on another board for a competition on the theme of poetry.  I've already received some very helpful suggestions which I've incorporated, thanks James.

Nature’s Poetry

Poetry surrounds us;
constant in life.
Unaware:
we inhale its majesty;
delight in its beauty;
hear its music.

Poetry whispers to us  
on warm winds -
rustling leafy trees;
in gentle waves -
lapping golden shores.

Poetry's rhythm hums silently:
as Earth spins on its axis;
day dawns, night falls;
Moon rises, descends;
seasons change.

Feel poetry in your heartbeat
as we lie, skin touching skin,
bodies harmonised,
minds attuned.

Know:
as we come together -
creating exquisite poetry.

© Nina 2005

Nina

[Guest_Jox_*]

Thanks for your thanks, Nina!

This is a very good poem, which I greatly enjoyed - well done.

No further suggestions at present but, should any occur, I'll pop back.

Tata, J.

[Guest_Nina_*]

Thanks again J



Nina

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Nina.

Sorry I'm so late - just starting my Lori catch up here this weekend.  

What a truly lovely poem!  

I enjoyed the feeling of being poetry and I am thankful for your portrayal of it in this piece.

I dub this a new :Cleofav: !

~Cleo  

[add] {delete}

Poetry surrounds us;
constant in life.
Unaware:
we inhale its majesty;
delight in its beauty;
hear its music.  

Beautiful!  

Poetry whispers to us {on} (suggest moving on to next line)
[on] warm winds -
rustling leafy trees;
in gentle waves -
lapping golden shores.

Poetry's rhythm hums silently:
as Earth spins on its axis;
day dawns, night falls;
Moon rises, descends;
seasons change.

Feel poetry in your heartbeat
as we lie, skin touching skin,
bodies harmonised,
minds attuned{;} […]  

Know:
as we come together -
creating exquisite poetry.
Poetry surrounds us;
constant in life.
Unaware:
we inhale its majesty;
delight in its beauty;
hear its music.

Poetry whispers to us {on} (suggest moving on to next line)
[on] warm winds -
rustling leafy trees;
in gentle waves -
lapping golden shores.

Poetry's rhythm hums silently:
as Earth spins on its axis;
day dawns, night falls;
Moon rises, descends;
seasons change.

Feel poetry in your heartbeat
as we lie, skin touching skin,
bodies harmonised,
minds attuned{;} […]  

Know:
as we come together -
creating exquisite poetry.

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Lori

>L>Sorry I'm so late - just starting my Lori catch up here this weekend.

No worries, thank you for taking the time to crit.  I hope work isn't too manic for you at the moment.

I agree with you about moving "on" to the next line.

thanks again

Nina

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Hi Nina

Loved this - hard to pick a favourite bit but I think

Poetry's rhythm hums silently:
as Earth spins on its axis;
day dawns, night falls;
Moon rises, descends;
seasons change

Fran

[Guest_Nina_*]

Thanks Fran

I'm chuffed that you love this



Nina

[Guest_Cathy_*]

Hi Nina,

This is the way I see life... there is poetry everywhere.

Just a couple of suggestions:

Poetry surrounds us;
constant in life.
Unaware:
we inhale its majesty;
delight in its beauty;
hear its music.

Beautiful!  And too bad that we are usually 'unaware'.

Poetry whispers to us  
on warm winds -
rustling leafy trees;
in gentle waves -
lapping golden shores.

And it's lovely to hear ...

Poetry's rhythm hums silently:
as Earth spins on its axis;
day dawns, night falls;
Moon rises, descends;
seasons change.

Feel poetry in your heartbeat
as we lie, skin touching skin,
bodies harmonised,
minds attuned.

You have started each stanza with 'Poetry' so what about:

Poetry is your heartbeat
as we lie, skin touching skin,
bodies harmonised,
minds attuned.

Know:
as we come together -
creating exquisite poetry.

Know:
as we come together -
we create exquisite poetry.

It's a heartwarming poem Nina.  Thanks for the read!

Cathy

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Cathy

thanks for your suggestions, I'll certainly have a ponder over them.

Nina