 Chemo Snow |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011  |
| Guest_Don_* |
 Oct 25 05, 08:28
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#1
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Valid response in verse permitted.
Chemo Snow A treatment ill affects my skin, like dusty plain in drought beseeches rain. The sheet beneath collects a shallow span of scale like sprinkled arid hail. © 2005, D.E. Holmes 06 October Meter: Iambic trimeter |
  
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 Oct 25 05, 10:37
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#2
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 Creative Chieftain  Posts: 1,802 Joined: 24-April 04 From: Connecticut Member No.: 58 Real Name: Ron Jones Writer of: Poetry |
Dear Don,
When topic's light and gay may verse then have its say. If gray one must convey, then rhymes should stay away. And so, to break this theme, but still show my esteem, may chemo's scheme redeem and be the best regime. May season's snow soon go, to potions soon say "no". Let springlike breezes blow and say "goodbye" to snow! (Serious thoughts underlie this light treatment- God Bless You) Cheers, Ron jgd ·······  ······· |
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| Guest_Don_* |
Oct 25 05, 11:26
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#3
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Thanks Ron,
Apologize for applying rhyme to a depressing theme, but lightly recorded less than pleasant past regime. Thanks for dropping by, and your verse is great tribute. Don |
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Oct 25 05, 12:29
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#4
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 8,984 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
Hi Don ! :sun:
I can't reply in verse because I'm waiting for Cathy to put me straight on various English syllables. :dunce: Of course, you'd also be very helpful, but I hasten to add that I'll have lots of patience and wait till your full recovery, before becoming a nuisance. :oops: I like your Iambic trimeter. Does one not apply rhyme to depressing themes? That's another new one for me !! I guess Ron is jus' kiddin'... :upside: :laugh: You've said a great deal in a minimal poem. Congrats and I hope you're out of this "chemo snow" very very soon. Cheers, Sylvia :lovie: ······· ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner              |
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| Guest_Nina_* |
Oct 25 05, 13:03
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#5
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Hi Don
I'm sorry you are having such an awful time with the side effects of the chemo. I hope you finish the course soon and feel more back to normal. Nina |
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| Guest_Don_* |
Oct 25 05, 13:31
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#6
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QUOTE(Psyche @ Oct. 25 2005, 13:29) Hi Don !  I can't reply in verse because I'm waiting for Cathy to put me straight on various English syllables.  Of course, you'd also be very helpful, but I hasten to add that I'll have lots of patience and wait till your full recovery, before becoming a nuisance.  I like your Iambic trimeter. Does one not apply rhyme to depressing themes? That's another new one for me !! I guess Ron is jus' kiddin'...   You've said a great deal in a minimal poem. Congrats and I hope you're out of this "chemo snow" very very soon. Cheers, Sylvia  Hi Sylvia, You do not have to respond in verse. There is a question on the board as to who does not like verse response. I do not mind if it is relevant. Yes, Ron is kidding about excluding rhyme from depressing verse. It is a hint for me to be light and less serious. A chemo side effect is very dry skin, which usually requires lots of lotion. I have dry skin naturally, so what remains to be blamed on chemotherapy is questionable. Isn't it better to say something short (and sweet) about an extended discomfort? Thank you for your concerns. My mend is nearly complete, baning such activities as shoveling snow. Visited the surgeon this morn and he said he is done and there is nothing more he can do. I get my beats from any English dictionary. Use an OED on line. The ictus is the heavy beat. Beats extend beyond word limit so that a metric foot often extends into adjacent word(s). With other nuances I am certain Cathy will help. For demonstration let me demonstrate with first line of my own iambic poem. Each metric foot is a low beat, heavy beat. A treat = low,heavy ment ill = low, heavy af fect = low, heavy A total of three metric feet, and each is iambic. Don |
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| Guest_Don_* |
Oct 25 05, 13:34
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#7
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QUOTE(Nina @ Oct. 25 2005, 14:03) Hi Don I'm sorry you are having such an awful time with the side effects of the chemo. I hope you finish the course soon and feel more back to normal. Nina Hi NIna, Thank you for your uplift. As I responded to Cathy, This poem sort of records a small portion of a show about to close. My health is very sound at this point. Thanks Don |
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Nov 6 05, 16:45
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#8
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Don.
I wanted to drop in and just say I'm thinking of you and hope these treatments are almost done. :sun: For some strange reason, I cannot wrap my dancing feet around trimeter so will watch the comments here and perhaps something will come to me. Best regards.  ~Cleo :dove: ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner  |
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| Guest_Toumai_* |
Nov 7 05, 01:34
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#9
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Hi Don,
Neat rhyme to describe an aspect of such an unpleasant time. Thanks for that explanation in your last post to Sylvia, too - most interesting. Hugs, Fran |
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