the clover path Options

[Guest_dflore_*]

mother,
the path
where you walked me as a baby
is all overgrown now
I looked at its weeds
and saw the trail turn back to clover
my jagged knife mind went dull
the thunder only whispered

I asked time to follow me to the past
but it only decorates the sky
with darkened moments of old daydreams
and silenced prayers

I make streams sound like your laughter
but their currents are slow
and their water cold

you are gone
but the thought of you
almost brings the sun
into this night
that will have no morning
the door to my bedroom creeks
your figure goes against the wall
I hope its you
and ask if you'll take me to the path
I know I'm only speaking to a shadow
but shadows are born from light

[Eisa]

Hi Dan

This is a poignant yet beautiful poem. It brought back memories of my own mother and walks with her.

mother,
the path
where you walked me as a baby
is all overgrown now
I looked at its weeds
and saw the trail turn back to clover
my jagged knife mind went dull
the thunder only whispered

I wonder if 'jagged mind' would surfice here?

I asked time to follow me to the past
but it only decorates the sky
with darkened moments of old daydreams
and silenced prayers

I love L1

I make streams sound like your laughter
but their currents are slow
and their water cold

Yes - streams do sound like laughter

you are gone
but the thought of you
almost brings the sun
into this night
that will have no morning
the door to my bedroom creeks
your figure goes against the wall
I hope its you
and ask if you'll take me to the path
I know I'm only speaking to a shadow
but shadows are born from light

I enjoyed the play on morning/mourning.

L8 - I think should be it's

'Shadows are born of light'
I found this quite thought provoking

I like the way the ending ties up with the beginning -- full circle!

Nice read
Snow

[saore]

A very nice poem indeed, I think jagged mind would suffice. I like the rest of Snow's suggestions. I would have said the very same things. Very poignant poem Dan.