Hibiscus Magic Options

[Orion]

My toes didn't care
if last night's leftover rains
drenched them on this early morning

walk to the middle
of that glorious hibiscus
whispering, wooingly, to the
camera-woman,

"Put your coffee cup down - now;
pick up your camera!"

The backyard trip was
well worth soaked sandals
and feet - and ankles -
traipsing in blades,
wispy, wet, swaying.

What was this calling about?
Moved me from my cozy kitchen
to see delicate beauty
through mesmerized lens-

{click}

little bee in bee heaven,
bee toes pollen-dipped in
piles of snow-white

{click}

If a bee could have
smiled, I know this
bee was grinning for
a quick shot.

Left a wondering me -
who was happier
the saturated photographer
or the pollinated bee?

[Merlin]

Hello O,

Altho I've done a lot of reading and looking into the vast realm of vers libre, I'm still not very comfortable in this field. Line breaks and pauses are important, moreso because there is the lack of structure.

It's those little things that I seek when reading - to find the flow, the lyric picture, and the like. It leaves me wondering why you have placed a break between "early morning" and "walk". I'm envisioning and early morning walk, but you've transported me elsewhere. Who's lost?

Merlin