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Jeoffry ~ Revised 20 June 2007, a flash response |
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May 28 07, 11:00
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Mosaic Master
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Stimulus: A fragment from Kit Smart's Jubilate Agno:
"For I will consider my Cat Jeoffry. For he is the servant of the Living God duly and daily serving him. For at the first glance of the glory of God in the East he worships in his way. For this is done by wreathing his body seven times round with elegant quickness. For then he leaps up to catch the musk, which is the blessing of God upon his prayer. For he rolls upon prank to work it in...."![](http://www.mosaicmusings.net/images/IBPCNom.jpg) Jeoffry ![kitty.gif](http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/style_emoticons/default/kitty.gif)
He is sleek unto himself, blending onyx and brilliance.
Seven - that magic number - seven times he wreaths his agile frame to the East, ascends on haunch hopes; no more, no less.
Toward latent stars he arcs in complementary prayer, and sheaths his domain with spindrifts of nature’s musk.
Friends frolic in the grassy knoll to mark their place in society then yield to his presence: exercising their position in his kingdom.
He crouches low and slowly advances amongst his camouflaged backdrop; a transient salutation that shadows pranks of the day…
then quietly sneaks back to the comfort of a cushy couch and moons himself to sleep.
A god made unto himself, he blends onyx and brilliance.
Copyright © Lorraine M KanterOriginal: He is sleek upon himself, blending onyx with brilliance. Seven - that magic number - seven times he wreaths his agile frame to the East, ascending on haunch hopes; no more, no less. Toward latent stars he arcs, and sheaths his domain with the musk of nature’s scent. Friends frolic in the grassy knoll marking their place in society, yielding his presence, exercising their position in his kingdom. A god made unto himself, he ponders the pranks of today… then quietly sneaks back to the comforts of a cushy couch and suns himself to sleep. He is sleek upon himself, blending onyx with brilliance.
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner ![](http://www.mosaicmusings.net/images/IBPCtn.jpg)
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Replies
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May 30 07, 22:18
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Group: Gold Member
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Real Name: Elizabeth
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Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Woooo Hoooo You! Excellent response to the stimulus, and also, the stimulus was an excellent source of inspiration. Whoever chose it, give them a cheers! Lori, you really haven't left much to complain about in this. First you've made use of words offering a dual intent... such as in L1, I loved your use of sleek upon himself, excellent. And in L6, '... haunch hopes ... again, brilliant word choices and usage. Some other thoughts and comments to follow ... Hope my visit here is useful... I so enjoyed reading this poem. Best wishes, and big hugs, Liz QUOTE He is sleek upon himself, blending onyx with brilliance.
Seven - that magic number - seven times he wreaths his agile frame to the East, ascending on haunch hopes; no more, no less.
Toward latent stars he arcs, and sheaths his domain with the musk of nature’s scent.
I enjoyed the motion here. The images are crisp and the inclusion of scent really captures my inner minds eye.
Friends frolic in the grassy knoll marking their place in society,
'perhaps "to mark their place in society'
yielding his presence, exercising their position in his kingdom.
A god made unto himself, he ponders the pranks of today…
Perhaps ... pranks of the day'
then quietly sneaks back to the comforts of a cushy couch and suns himself to sleep.
perhaps ... comfort of a cushy couch Oh I am so jealous of his leisurely lazy life style... to have such power... Oh, and to be waited on -- the life of a cat! LOL ...
He is sleek upon himself, blending onyx with brilliance.
EXCELLENT ENDING. I love the repeat of this wonderful lines...
Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter
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Jun 16 07, 10:34
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Mosaic Master
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Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE (AMETHYST @ May 30 07, 23:18 ) [snapback]97148[/snapback] Woooo Hoooo You! Excellent response to the stimulus, and also, the stimulus was an excellent source of inspiration. Whoever chose it, give them a cheers! Lori, you really haven't left much to complain about in this. First you've made use of words offering a dual intent... such as in L1, I loved your use of sleek upon himself, excellent. And in L6, '... haunch hopes ... again, brilliant word choices and usage.
Some other thoughts and comments to follow ... Hope my visit here is useful... I so enjoyed reading this poem.
Best wishes, and big hugs, Liz Hi Liz. ![wave.gif](http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/style_emoticons/default/wave.gif)
Thanks so much - it WAS a fun stimulus by JaxMyth. Glad you enjoyed it!QUOTE He is sleek upon himself, blending onyx with brilliance.
Seven - that magic number - seven times he wreaths his agile frame to the East, ascending on haunch hopes; no more, no less.
Toward latent stars he arcs, and sheaths his domain with the musk of nature’s scent.
I enjoyed the motion here. The images are crisp and the inclusion of scent really captures my inner minds eye. Thanks - I've made changes to this stanza and dumped 'scent', replaced with 'musk'. Hope you like it.QUOTE Friends frolic in the grassy knoll marking their place in society, 'perhaps "to mark their place in society' YES, thank you! I've made that change! ![hsdance.gif](http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/style_emoticons/default/hsdance.gif) QUOTE A god made unto himself, he ponders the pranks of today… Perhaps ... pranks of the day' YES, thank you, that reads better too! I've made that change! ![hsdance.gif](http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/style_emoticons/default/hsdance.gif) QUOTE then quietly sneaks back to the comforts of a cushy couch and suns himself to sleep. perhaps ... comfort of a cushy couch Oh I am so jealous of his leisurely lazy life style... to have such power... Oh, and to be waited on -- the life of a cat! LOL ... Yeppers, I ditched that 's' on comfort. Then I realized it is night, so changed suns to moons for dual meaning again.QUOTE He is sleek upon himself, blending onyx with brilliance.
EXCELLENT ENDING. I love the repeat of this wonderful lines... Thanks so much Liz - I made a tweak to the ending couplet, still somewhat of a repeat of the opening with a slight change. Glad you stopped by!
~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner ![](http://www.mosaicmusings.net/images/IBPCtn.jpg)
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Posts in this topic
Cleo_Serapis Jeoffry ~ Revised 20 June 2007 May 28 07, 11:00 bbnixon Hi Lori,
I loved this when I read in the flash ch... May 30 07, 06:04 ![|](style_images/antique/to_down_pipe.gif) Cleo_Serapis Hi Brenda,
Thanks - this was a fun one to write! ... Jun 16 07, 09:40 Eisa Hi Lori
This is wonderful -- I have read it a few... May 30 07, 07:09 ![|](style_images/antique/to_down_pipe.gif) Cleo_Serapis Hi Snow.
Thank you! I had fun with it! I made a c... Jun 16 07, 09:47 Judi Hi Lori....Love this poem and can relate to it. I... May 30 07, 09:55 ![|](style_images/antique/to_down_pipe.gif) Cleo_Serapis Hi Judi.
Yes, I think if someone reads this that ... Jun 16 07, 10:06 Psyche Hi Lori!
Love this one! Of course, I can... May 30 07, 11:59 ![|](style_images/antique/to_down_pipe.gif) Cleo_Serapis QUOTE (Psyche @ May 30 07, 12:59 ) 97108H... Jun 16 07, 10:26 Cleo_Serapis Thanks everyone for your most thoughtful commentar... Jun 9 07, 05:55 Psyche My very best wishes for your Bose proyect, Lori de... Jun 11 07, 10:34 ![|](style_images/antique/to_down_pipe.gif) Cleo_Serapis QUOTE (Psyche @ Jun 11 07, 11:34 ) 98033M... Jun 16 07, 10:57 bbnixon Hi Lori,
I have such a weakness for cats. Sorry i... Jun 17 07, 07:08 ![|](style_images/antique/to_down_pipe.gif) Cleo_Serapis Hi Brenda.
No worries - I'm thankful you've come... Jun 19 07, 05:31 Orion Lori,
I enjoyed reading your poem and varied resp... Jun 17 07, 14:11 ![|](style_images/antique/to_down_pipe.gif) Cleo_Serapis Hello Jan!
Nice to see you in my tile. Let's se... Jun 19 07, 05:33 AMETHYST Congratulations Lori,
Best Wishes - and Big Hug... Jul 1 07, 19:14 Cleo_Serapis Thanks very much Liz! Jul 7 07, 09:08
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