Hope's Slope, From Flash No.52 Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hope's Slope


On Hope’s Peak, we wend our way
through powdered paradise,
gleaming smiles in sun’s warmth.

Cutting fresh tracks, we

slow

the

pace

down …

just long enough to enjoy
Nan’s lunch at her “Heavenly Hut”
high in the clouds.

We can almost touch

His

nebulosity

overhead --

embracing the might of this
wondrous slope before us.

Lofty, emerald pines shroud the
terrain just out of reach, the city beyond --
we realize time’s passing and tepidly

wave

goodbye.

Humbly trodden paths
of this fantastic forest
reveal the way home;
we compliment sun’s

descent

toward

dusk.

Jamie slides to an abrupt stop:
ski shop owner Hope lays injured…

“Just - one - slalom…
Rescue? Ski Patrol?” her words
barely audible,

trail off.

“Once - a long time ago, friend.”
Their eyes say so much more.

I wend my way through
powder’s hell-fire,
hoping upon life’s hands
I make it back before

Hope

and

time

surrender.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter

[Judi]

I will be waiting for your followup poem...

I have only one nit that has not been covered and it is an easy fix if you choose to do it.
On Hope’s Peak, we wend our way
through powdered paradise,
gleaming smiles in sun’s warmth.

Cutting fresh tracks, we

slow
the
pace
down …

(when I copy and pasted I lost your staging)..anyway, I would lose the word down.. I know you are still going Up the mountain, but this gives the feeling you are on your way down..unless I am just lost in your words....Perhaps you could rearrange your words to be going UP instead of down...(I am confusing myself at this point.) Do you understand what I mean or am I way off..(it is before 10 a.m. and I have only had one cup of coffee, lol. As others say, lose or use. My Best (and hurry up and write the sequel) Judi