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Lanturne, 1-2-3-4-1 |
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Oct 20 06, 08:04
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,902
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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LanturneThe lanturne (or lanterne) is a five-line light verse evidently derived from Haiku and shaped like a Japanese lantern (hence the name) with a syllabic pattern of 1 2 3 4 1 syllables. Sometimes described as a half-cinquain there seems to be no particular requirement for subject matter, though the original intention may have been a statement of nature. Generally, each line is a self-contained statement, such that the poem is not merely a sentence arbitrarily divided into syllables. Some suggest that the form should begin with a noun, with line 2 giving an action or description of the noun and lines 3 & 4 each giving a further description, and the 5th line offering another word for the noun, though not necessarily a synonym or even a noun. The form may or may not have a title, but it can be an integral part as the ‘sixth line’ of the poem. snow adrift covering ice where it may fall
© MLee Dickens'son 25 Feb 2005
nose sensing what eye can’t seeks to acquire skill
© MLee Dickens'son 22 Feb 2005
naught I ’ d r e a d echoed sense to comprehend aught
© MLee Dickens'son 27 Feb 2005
food for thought
sleep eschews leaves quickly with morning's break fast
© MLee Dickens'son 24 March 2005
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Replies
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Oct 22 06, 17:27
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Thank you for that nice compliment Daniel. I miss those cinquain threads we use to have... and this is a pretty interesting form to enjoy like that... Hugs, Liz QUOTE Liz mentor critiquer par excellence bard Skill teacher meter mused in Daniel's hand craft Hi Lori... QUOTE Souls Samhain celebrate faith's sacrifice dead This is very powerful. I would say it would work quite well for the introduction to Holiday poems of the same theme, and or seasonal poetry for Autumn! :) This is a very strong example, is this your first one? ... Hugs, Liz
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Posts in this topic
JustDaniel Lanturne Oct 20 06, 08:04 JustDaniel knight's wet
rain
falling
empties clouds
leav... Oct 20 06, 08:14 AMETHYST ...
You have tempted me to try one on for size... Oct 21 06, 14:57 JustDaniel What is there to improve, Liz?
Liz
mentor
crit... Oct 22 06, 10:38 Cleo_Serapis This looks like a lot of FUN Daniel.
All the exa... Oct 22 06, 12:02 Cleo_Serapis QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Oct 22 06, 18:27 ) Hi L... Oct 22 06, 17:47 JustDaniel Addiction has begun!
leaves
flipping
turn y... Oct 22 06, 18:31 JustDaniel Nefertiti
Miz
who is
creative
not miscreant
... Oct 24 06, 15:14 Cathy Scares
are near,
so beware
this Hallowed Eve.
Boo... Oct 30 06, 10:11 Cleo_Serapis Buds
flourish
blanketing
stems with dappled
b... Jun 17 07, 11:49 JustDaniel O
l
bright
lanturnes
will soon light
Elizabeth... Jul 1 07, 17:39 AMETHYST Ah ... Yes, I did try one on for size! Thank y... Jul 1 07, 19:05 JustDaniel You're welcome. I'd noted that you were a... Jul 1 07, 19:21 Cleo_Serapis Bulbs
blossom
garnishing
nature’s palette
Spring May 23 08, 09:41 AMETHYST Hey Lori,
This is very vivid. I liked how L1/L5 ... Jun 11 08, 19:12 Cleo_Serapis Thanks Liz - I've posted this one for crits ov... Jun 12 08, 05:32 JustDaniel lips
provide
impression
poet needs back
talk
... Sep 6 09, 15:58 JustDaniel two
sparse years
spread out 'twixt
our resp... Sep 14 11, 07:06 JustDaniel form
the sounds
to make words
reveal your light... Jan 25 12, 10:49 JustDaniel work
requires
focus-time
but don't forget
... Apr 9 12, 08:08 Larry Hot
Summers
contravene,
like tails wagging
dogs. Apr 9 12, 09:57 JustDaniel thwart
the heat
with a fan;
see the dog's t... Apr 9 12, 10:20 Alan By way of acknowledging Will.I.Am of the Hot Chill... Apr 10 12, 02:01 JustDaniel hats
cover
ideas
that need the light
share Apr 10 12, 11:44 Larry Share
old words
with others,
rearranged by
thought... Apr 10 12, 13:42 Alan thoughts
through mind
mined meanings
leanings rev... Apr 10 12, 13:48 Larry Mind
and heart
understand
what lips never
say. Apr 10 12, 13:56 Alan TRUTH
say
what's dared/
what is true/
gotten ... Apr 10 12, 14:01 JustDaniel Just a reminder, from the opening page of this thr... Apr 10 12, 14:14 Alan choked
strong words
emotions
hung out to dry
iced
... Apr 16 12, 16:29 JustDaniel brood
ice-teased
with steeped words
the poet... Apr 16 12, 22:52 Larry pores
exhude
cool bodies
waist removal
sweat Apr 17 12, 08:51 Alan sweat
can pour
from forehead
concentration
'sp... Apr 17 12, 15:46 Larry spires
reach up
touching hearts
iconic aim
point Apr 18 12, 08:41 Alan point
at sky
fluffy clouds
followed by rain
see ?
... Apr 18 12, 10:32 JustDaniel sea
whispers
good morning
announcing hi
tide Apr 18 12, 13:39 Alan tied
fessled
imprisoned
done up in knots
dyed
or... Apr 19 12, 03:08 Larry Sell
your lure
telephone
applications
cost
or
dy... Apr 19 12, 13:54 Alan bay
a moon
optimism
with girl on arm
wolf
Alan Apr 19 12, 14:21 JustDaniel wool
over
the girl's eyes
made the wolf thi... Apr 20 12, 16:45 Alan baa
humbug
I tell you
fest'ring season
scrooge... Apr 21 12, 13:58 Larry scrounge
borrow
solicit
something might help
work Apr 21 12, 14:37 Alan work
or play
all the same
time consumers
slave
Al... Apr 22 12, 01:57 Larry shave
faces
tempting fate
work 'till the scyth... Apr 22 12, 09:09 Alan cats
adore
stand-offish
take or leave me
purr
Ala... Apr 22 12, 12:28 JustDaniel pur
he cast
determined
his onlookers'
fate Apr 22 12, 18:26 Larry Fate
decides
the future
you can select
now Apr 23 12, 10:07 JustDaniel now
decide
your own fate
application's
blank Apr 23 12, 10:21 Alan blank
his face
and his mind
successful drug
use
A... Apr 23 12, 11:52 JustDaniel use
cocaine
for nostrils
to be useless
soon Apr 23 12, 15:51 Larry sewn
septums
sound slightly
sibilant since
speed Apr 24 12, 08:57 Alan speed
essence
motor-car
on Nurburgring
round
Alan Apr 24 12, 09:09 Larry wound
tightly
tension builds
nervous breakdowns
wa... Apr 24 12, 10:05 Alan watch
the springs
rewind mode
metallic clangs
see ... Apr 24 12, 11:18 Larry Sea
surges
sending sand
susurrating
soft Apr 24 12, 11:51 Alan soft
who's there
door-keeper
what wantest thou... Apr 24 12, 12:37 Larry sleep
freshens
relaxes
eases the mind
rests Apr 24 12, 17:10 Alan rests
for cues
the entry
gladiators
pause
Alan Apr 24 12, 17:49 JustDaniel paws
and claws
give one pause
feathers and fur
fly Apr 24 12, 22:07 Alan fly
virgin
great feeling
quite orgasmic
high
Alan Apr 25 12, 04:07 JustDaniel high
atop
the Andes
breathing in coke
air Apr 25 12, 08:06 Larry air
diverse
opinions
with a whisper
calm Apr 25 12, 08:58 JustDaniel clam
clamps down
on fingers
interposing
shell Apr 25 12, 10:49 Alan deleted Apr 25 12, 16:36 JustDaniel like
come on
friend Alan;
honor the form
please? Apr 26 12, 04:40 Larry pleas
in form
that lanturnes
material
eyes Apr 26 12, 09:23 JustDaniel ayes
have it
when they move
to end it all
now Apr 26 12, 12:29 Larry know
the ends
justify
demeans in some
form Apr 26 12, 13:12 Alan form
idea
refinement
final collapse
smash
Alan Apr 27 12, 00:31 JustDaniel smash
the form's
syllables
by discounting
them Apr 27 12, 08:22 Larry them
and us
mispronounce
certain words a
lot Apr 27 12, 08:56 JustDaniel Lot's
poor wife
was quite stoned
wishing Sodom... Apr 27 12, 09:36 Larry back
assault
mined a lot
shake her foolish
act Apr 27 12, 16:30 JustDaniel facts
scream out
of someone
greater than I
somewhe... Apr 27 12, 17:54 Larry some-
where's one
syllable
that's also sma... Apr 30 12, 00:23 Alan in
vino
veritas
but in water
truth
Alan Apr 30 12, 02:42 JustDaniel truth
has one
syllable
a powerful
one Apr 30 12, 09:14 Alan one
a day
with a meal
ratlling around
out
Alan May 1 12, 03:52 Larry out
houses
with half-moons
alleviate
breath May 1 12, 12:13 JustDaniel breathe
deeply
and you'll choke
at an out hous... May 1 12, 17:48 Alan dump
deeply
and you'll choke
on an out house
b... May 2 12, 08:58 JustDaniel breath
becomes
quite precious
when you have been
c... May 2 12, 10:47 Larry chocked
cables
take a bight
loose ship with slack
... May 4 12, 15:56 JustDaniel sips
soda
through his tongue
to spit it back
out May 4 12, 23:03 Larry out
from mouths
of sages
and sometimes babes
pours... May 6 12, 23:54 JustDaniel gnomes
surround
her garden;
they're guardin... May 7 12, 07:42 Alan plant
a kiss
duck her response
she will come round... May 9 12, 08:22 JustDaniel foul,
Alan!
syllables
have multiplied
wow! May 9 12, 08:29 Alan Fowl,
Daniel ?
It is half
a damn cinquain !
B... May 9 12, 10:04 JustDaniel bird-
flipping?
I am shocked!
second versio... May 9 12, 10:50 Alan fine ?
impost
not O.K.
gentle ribbing
light
Alan May 9 12, 13:12 JustDaniel light
impost
won't break you
dig down deeply
p... May 9 12, 13:28 Larry pay
pipers
filling bags
before kilties
squeeze May 9 12, 15:22 Alan squeeze
sports box
no effect
balls still fly strai... May 9 12, 16:13 Larry press
to iron
the wrinkles
of truth, adding
twists May 10 12, 12:22 Alan twists
and turns
fates conspire
perfect outcome
w... May 10 12, 16:51 JustDaniel whorls
spiral
on paper
to convolute
prints May 10 12, 17:41 Alan prince
showgirl
pre-ordained
togetherness
snap ... May 11 12, 00:38 JustDaniel snap
opens
revealing
embryonic
thought May 11 12, 07:43
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