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Lanturne, 1-2-3-4-1 |
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Oct 20 06, 08:04
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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LanturneThe lanturne (or lanterne) is a five-line light verse evidently derived from Haiku and shaped like a Japanese lantern (hence the name) with a syllabic pattern of 1 2 3 4 1 syllables. Sometimes described as a half-cinquain there seems to be no particular requirement for subject matter, though the original intention may have been a statement of nature. Generally, each line is a self-contained statement, such that the poem is not merely a sentence arbitrarily divided into syllables. Some suggest that the form should begin with a noun, with line 2 giving an action or description of the noun and lines 3 & 4 each giving a further description, and the 5th line offering another word for the noun, though not necessarily a synonym or even a noun. The form may or may not have a title, but it can be an integral part as the ‘sixth line’ of the poem. snow adrift covering ice where it may fall
© MLee Dickens'son 25 Feb 2005
nose sensing what eye can’t seeks to acquire skill
© MLee Dickens'son 22 Feb 2005
naught I ’ d r e a d echoed sense to comprehend aught
© MLee Dickens'son 27 Feb 2005
food for thought
sleep eschews leaves quickly with morning's break fast
© MLee Dickens'son 24 March 2005
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Replies
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Oct 21 06, 14:57
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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... You have tempted me to try one on for size! Please critqiue and teach me how to make them stronger! Home longing safe refuge family, friends hearth
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Oct 22 06, 10:38
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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What is there to improve, Liz? Liz mentor critiquer par excellence bard
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Posts in this topic
JustDaniel Lanturne Oct 20 06, 08:04 JustDaniel knight's wet
rain
falling
empties clouds
leav... Oct 20 06, 08:14 Cleo_Serapis This looks like a lot of FUN Daniel.
All the exa... Oct 22 06, 12:02 AMETHYST Thank you for that nice compliment Daniel. I miss ... Oct 22 06, 17:27 Cleo_Serapis QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Oct 22 06, 18:27 ) Hi L... Oct 22 06, 17:47 JustDaniel Addiction has begun!
leaves
flipping
turn y... Oct 22 06, 18:31 JustDaniel Nefertiti
Miz
who is
creative
not miscreant
... Oct 24 06, 15:14 Cathy Scares
are near,
so beware
this Hallowed Eve.
Boo... Oct 30 06, 10:11 Cleo_Serapis Buds
flourish
blanketing
stems with dappled
b... Jun 17 07, 11:49 JustDaniel O
l
bright
lanturnes
will soon light
Elizabeth... Jul 1 07, 17:39 AMETHYST Ah ... Yes, I did try one on for size! Thank y... Jul 1 07, 19:05 JustDaniel You're welcome. I'd noted that you were a... Jul 1 07, 19:21 Cleo_Serapis Bulbs
blossom
garnishing
nature’s palette
Spring May 23 08, 09:41 AMETHYST Hey Lori,
This is very vivid. I liked how L1/L5 ... Jun 11 08, 19:12 Cleo_Serapis Thanks Liz - I've posted this one for crits ov... Jun 12 08, 05:32 JustDaniel lips
provide
impression
poet needs back
talk
... Sep 6 09, 15:58 JustDaniel two
sparse years
spread out 'twixt
our resp... Sep 14 11, 07:06 JustDaniel form
the sounds
to make words
reveal your light... Jan 25 12, 10:49 JustDaniel work
requires
focus-time
but don't forget
... Apr 9 12, 08:08 Larry Hot
Summers
contravene,
like tails wagging
dogs. Apr 9 12, 09:57 JustDaniel thwart
the heat
with a fan;
see the dog's t... Apr 9 12, 10:20 Alan By way of acknowledging Will.I.Am of the Hot Chill... Apr 10 12, 02:01 JustDaniel hats
cover
ideas
that need the light
share Apr 10 12, 11:44 Larry Share
old words
with others,
rearranged by
thought... Apr 10 12, 13:42 Alan thoughts
through mind
mined meanings
leanings rev... Apr 10 12, 13:48 Larry Mind
and heart
understand
what lips never
say. Apr 10 12, 13:56 Alan TRUTH
say
what's dared/
what is true/
gotten ... Apr 10 12, 14:01 JustDaniel Just a reminder, from the opening page of this thr... Apr 10 12, 14:14 Alan choked
strong words
emotions
hung out to dry
iced
... Apr 16 12, 16:29 JustDaniel brood
ice-teased
with steeped words
the poet... Apr 16 12, 22:52 Larry pores
exhude
cool bodies
waist removal
sweat Apr 17 12, 08:51 Alan sweat
can pour
from forehead
concentration
'sp... Apr 17 12, 15:46 Larry spires
reach up
touching hearts
iconic aim
point Apr 18 12, 08:41 Alan point
at sky
fluffy clouds
followed by rain
see ?
... Apr 18 12, 10:32 JustDaniel sea
whispers
good morning
announcing hi
tide Apr 18 12, 13:39 Alan tied
fessled
imprisoned
done up in knots
dyed
or... Apr 19 12, 03:08 Larry Sell
your lure
telephone
applications
cost
or
dy... Apr 19 12, 13:54 Alan bay
a moon
optimism
with girl on arm
wolf
Alan Apr 19 12, 14:21 JustDaniel wool
over
the girl's eyes
made the wolf thi... Apr 20 12, 16:45 Alan baa
humbug
I tell you
fest'ring season
scrooge... Apr 21 12, 13:58 Larry scrounge
borrow
solicit
something might help
work Apr 21 12, 14:37 Alan work
or play
all the same
time consumers
slave
Al... Apr 22 12, 01:57 Larry shave
faces
tempting fate
work 'till the scyth... Apr 22 12, 09:09 Alan cats
adore
stand-offish
take or leave me
purr
Ala... Apr 22 12, 12:28 JustDaniel pur
he cast
determined
his onlookers'
fate Apr 22 12, 18:26 Larry Fate
decides
the future
you can select
now Apr 23 12, 10:07 JustDaniel now
decide
your own fate
application's
blank Apr 23 12, 10:21 Alan blank
his face
and his mind
successful drug
use
A... Apr 23 12, 11:52 JustDaniel use
cocaine
for nostrils
to be useless
soon Apr 23 12, 15:51 Larry sewn
septums
sound slightly
sibilant since
speed Apr 24 12, 08:57 Alan speed
essence
motor-car
on Nurburgring
round
Alan Apr 24 12, 09:09 Larry wound
tightly
tension builds
nervous breakdowns
wa... Apr 24 12, 10:05 Alan watch
the springs
rewind mode
metallic clangs
see ... Apr 24 12, 11:18 Larry Sea
surges
sending sand
susurrating
soft Apr 24 12, 11:51 Alan soft
who's there
door-keeper
what wantest thou... Apr 24 12, 12:37 Larry sleep
freshens
relaxes
eases the mind
rests Apr 24 12, 17:10 Alan rests
for cues
the entry
gladiators
pause
Alan Apr 24 12, 17:49 JustDaniel paws
and claws
give one pause
feathers and fur
fly Apr 24 12, 22:07 Alan fly
virgin
great feeling
quite orgasmic
high
Alan Apr 25 12, 04:07 JustDaniel high
atop
the Andes
breathing in coke
air Apr 25 12, 08:06 Larry air
diverse
opinions
with a whisper
calm Apr 25 12, 08:58 JustDaniel clam
clamps down
on fingers
interposing
shell Apr 25 12, 10:49 Alan deleted Apr 25 12, 16:36 JustDaniel like
come on
friend Alan;
honor the form
please? Apr 26 12, 04:40 Larry pleas
in form
that lanturnes
material
eyes Apr 26 12, 09:23 JustDaniel ayes
have it
when they move
to end it all
now Apr 26 12, 12:29 Larry know
the ends
justify
demeans in some
form Apr 26 12, 13:12 Alan form
idea
refinement
final collapse
smash
Alan Apr 27 12, 00:31 JustDaniel smash
the form's
syllables
by discounting
them Apr 27 12, 08:22 Larry them
and us
mispronounce
certain words a
lot Apr 27 12, 08:56 JustDaniel Lot's
poor wife
was quite stoned
wishing Sodom... Apr 27 12, 09:36 Larry back
assault
mined a lot
shake her foolish
act Apr 27 12, 16:30 JustDaniel facts
scream out
of someone
greater than I
somewhe... Apr 27 12, 17:54 Larry some-
where's one
syllable
that's also sma... Apr 30 12, 00:23 Alan in
vino
veritas
but in water
truth
Alan Apr 30 12, 02:42 JustDaniel truth
has one
syllable
a powerful
one Apr 30 12, 09:14 Alan one
a day
with a meal
ratlling around
out
Alan May 1 12, 03:52 Larry out
houses
with half-moons
alleviate
breath May 1 12, 12:13 JustDaniel breathe
deeply
and you'll choke
at an out hous... May 1 12, 17:48 Alan dump
deeply
and you'll choke
on an out house
b... May 2 12, 08:58 JustDaniel breath
becomes
quite precious
when you have been
c... May 2 12, 10:47 Larry chocked
cables
take a bight
loose ship with slack
... May 4 12, 15:56 JustDaniel sips
soda
through his tongue
to spit it back
out May 4 12, 23:03 Larry out
from mouths
of sages
and sometimes babes
pours... May 6 12, 23:54 JustDaniel gnomes
surround
her garden;
they're guardin... May 7 12, 07:42 Alan plant
a kiss
duck her response
she will come round... May 9 12, 08:22 JustDaniel foul,
Alan!
syllables
have multiplied
wow! May 9 12, 08:29 Alan Fowl,
Daniel ?
It is half
a damn cinquain !
B... May 9 12, 10:04 JustDaniel bird-
flipping?
I am shocked!
second versio... May 9 12, 10:50 Alan fine ?
impost
not O.K.
gentle ribbing
light
Alan May 9 12, 13:12 JustDaniel light
impost
won't break you
dig down deeply
p... May 9 12, 13:28 Larry pay
pipers
filling bags
before kilties
squeeze May 9 12, 15:22 Alan squeeze
sports box
no effect
balls still fly strai... May 9 12, 16:13 Larry press
to iron
the wrinkles
of truth, adding
twists May 10 12, 12:22 Alan twists
and turns
fates conspire
perfect outcome
w... May 10 12, 16:51 JustDaniel whorls
spiral
on paper
to convolute
prints May 10 12, 17:41 Alan prince
showgirl
pre-ordained
togetherness
snap ... May 11 12, 00:38 JustDaniel snap
opens
revealing
embryonic
thought May 11 12, 07:43
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