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Soul Bouquet (Revised 27 Aug), Quatern & new title |
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Jul 23 06, 17:12
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Mosaic Master

Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep

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Some of you will remember this tribute poem to a dear friend of ours who passed away last year (hard to believe it's been almost a year).  Putting those tears aside, I am hoping to polish this poem as a tribute to those who move to another place. Your comments are appreciated. Revision 1 - thanks everyone
Soul Bouquet
I’m saddened that you went away to travel unknown paths to where no more a puzzle: heart’s held sway; you’ll join your loved ones waiting there.
Instead of being mad at Him - I’m saddened that you went away through valleys steeped in God’s own trim; you’ve left this life a soul bouquet.
When I go limping through the days with thoughts of you, I’ll shed a tear… I’m saddened that you went away, foundations forged with loving care.
The contours of your gentle smile, the mounds of things I’d hoped to say. The words you’ve left; a friend worthwhile… I’m saddened that you went away.
Copyright © 2006 Lorraine M Kanter On Your Way (Original)
I’m saddened you went on your way to travel to a dwelling where no more a puzzle; heart’s held sway; you’ll join your loved ones waiting there.
Instead of being mad at Him - I’m saddened you went on your way, through valleys steeped in divine trim; you’ve left these woods a soul bouquet.
When I go limping through the days with thoughts of you, I’ll shed a tear… I’m saddened you went on your way, foundations forged with tender prayer.
The contours of your gentle smile. The mounds of things I’d hope to say. The words you’ve left; a friend worthwhile… I’m saddened you went on your way.
Copyright © 2006 Lorraine M Kanter
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner 
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Replies
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Aug 27 06, 09:46
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Mosaic Master

Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep

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My first revision is now posted with a new title too. Thanks all! ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner 
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Posts in this topic
Cleo_Serapis Soul Bouquet (Revised 27 Aug) Jul 23 06, 17:12 Cathy Hi Lori,
I wanted to let you know I'd been he... Jul 23 06, 18:30 Cleo_Serapis Thanks Cathy.
No worries - I tweaked a few words ... Jul 23 06, 18:35 Aggiel Lori,
This is a beautiful trubute.
aggie... Jul 23 06, 21:56  Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(Aggiel @ Jul 23 06, 22:56 ) 79385Lo... Jul 25 06, 18:14 Nina Hi Lori
As others have said, a beautiful tribute ... Jul 24 06, 00:25  Cleo_Serapis Hi Nina.
Thanks - this was for Larry (I never pos... Jul 25 06, 18:35 JustDaniel Greetings, Lori...
I'm a bit distracted this ... Jul 24 06, 06:45  Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(JustDaniel @ Jul 24 06, 07:45 ) 794... Jul 25 06, 18:46 Cathy Hi Lori,
I don't usually read the other comme... Jul 24 06, 08:38  Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(Cathy @ Jul 24 06, 09:38 ) 79415Hi ... Jul 25 06, 19:01 ArtesiaMeeks Hi Lori,
This poem is beautiful......but I see Ca... Jul 24 06, 10:32  Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(ArtesiaMeeks @ Jul 24 06, 11:32 ) 7... Jul 25 06, 19:20 JustDaniel Yes, I miss Larry too, Lori. Last year we had mis... Jul 25 06, 20:45  Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(JustDaniel @ Jul 25 06, 21:45 ) 795... Aug 17 06, 18:44 AMETHYST Hi Lori,
I've skimmed this a few times, reading ... Jul 25 06, 21:32  Cleo_Serapis Hi Liz.
Thank you so much. I miss Larry still ver... Aug 17 06, 18:56 Cyn QUOTE(Cleo_Serapis @ Jul 23 06, 22:12 ) 7... Jul 30 06, 05:45  Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(Cyn @ Jul 30 06, 06:45 ) 79931I lik... Aug 17 06, 19:05 Rosemerta Hi Cleo
I was all set to do some hacking and sl... Jul 30 06, 18:28  Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(Rosemerta @ Jul 30 06, 19:28 ) 8001... Aug 17 06, 19:09 Cathy Hi Lori,
I like your revision. The flow is smoot... Aug 27 06, 10:50  Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(Cathy @ Aug 27 06, 11:50 ) 82016Hi ... Aug 27 06, 11:01
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