Undertones Options

[Aphrodite]

Crispy leaves drift sunspun air;
wistful days of wondering.
Colored pieces piling high,
moment’s tainted suffering.

Strolling footprints, moving truths,
chilling sorrow aches my bones.
Ginger, gold and crimson pink,
cheery childhood undertones.

Timeless dancing in the wind,
Autumn’s brilliant scenery.
Fleeting seconds warm my heart
once upon the greenery.

[Eisa]

Crispy leaves drift, peaceful air;

I agree with Alan here and felt it should say " drift in" but a comma would solve that

wistful days of wondering.
Colored pieces piling high,
moment’s tainted suffering.

Strolling footprints, moving truths,
chilling sorrow aches my bones.
Ginger, gold and crimson pink,
cheery childhood, undertones.

Lovely descriptions here

Timeless dancing in the wind,
Autumn’s brilliant scenery.
Fleeting seconds warm my heart,
once upon the greenery.

I think perhaps a description of the greenery would be nice here...perhaps
" lush greenery"

Hi there

This is a wonderful piece, full of descriptions that draw you in, make you feel you're there.

I just have a couple of thoughts that might be useful to you.

Well done though    

Snow