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> Resilience ~ Revised 8/20/07, Quatern
Guest_Cathy_*
post Nov 24 05, 08:51
Post #1





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Thank you Maxim, Nina, Merlin and Lori for revision 1!

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Resilience ~ Revision 3

If I were but a willow tree
in graceful gavotte glide of leaf,
with slender bough of give and take,
a tow'ring trunk of strong belief;

my flesh-born roots would stay their ground.
If I were but a willow tree,
my verdant bands would brandish proud,
as one with nature; flying free.

When fierce skies rage, enrapt winds blow,
in winter whites or summer's reign...
if I were but a willow tree,
the twisting curls of faith sustain.

Though limbs might waver in the wind,
emotions sway to some degree;
my storm-blown spirit would not break,
if I were but a willow tree.

Cathy Bollhoefer
copyright Nov 2005






Resilience ~ Revision 2

If I were but a willow tree
in graceful gavotte glide of leaf,
with slender bough of give and take,
a tow'ring trunk of strong belief;

my deep-bound roots would stand their ground.
If I were but a willow tree,
my verdant bands would brandish proud,
as one with nature; soaring free.

When fierce skies rage, enrapt winds blow,
in winter white or sunlight reign;
if I were but a willow tree...
resilience and faith sustain.

Though limbs may waver in the wind,
might bend and sway to some degree;
my storm-blown spirit would not break,
if I were but a willow tree.

Cathy Bollhoefer
copyright Nov2005




Resilience ~ Quatern (1st Revision)

If I were but a willow tree
with graceful gavotte glide of leaf,
slender bough of give and take,
a tow'ring trunk of strong belief;

my deep-bound roots would stand their ground.
If I were but a willow tree,
my verdant bands would brandish proud,
as one with nature; soaring free.

Though fierce skies rage, enrapt winds blow,
through blizzard fall, or sunlight reign;
if I were but a willow tree,
there'd be no reason to complain.

My limbs would waver in the wind,
I'd bend and sway to some degree;
storm-battered branches would not break,
if I were but a willow tree.

Cathy Bollhoefer
copyright Nov2005



Resilience ~ Quatern (Original)

If I could be a willow tree
with graceful swaying flow of leaf,
slender bough of give and take,
and tow'ring trunk of strong belief;

with deep-bound roots I'd stand my ground.
If I could be a willow tree,
my ribbons green would wave so proud,
as one with nature; yet still free.

The storms could rage and winds might blow,
a blizzard fall, or sun sans rain;
if I were but a willow tree,
I'd have no reason to complain.

My limbs would waver in the wind,
I'd bend and sway, it might hurt me;
from broken vow I would not break,
if I were but a willow tree.

Cathy Bollhoefer
copyright Nov2005
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Nov 27 05, 09:33
Post #2


Mosaic Master
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Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep



Hi Cathy. arwen.gif

I am enjoying your Quaterns and am glad it's the form of the month at PV so we can see your masterpieces here too! Artist.gif

There is a comforting flow to this piece and I admire each image presented.

goodjob.gif

~Cleo  sun.gif


If I could be a willow tree
with graceful swaying flow of leaf, (suggest ‘glide’ for alliterative alternative to ‘flow’)
slender bough of give and take,
and tow'ring trunk of strong belief;

with deep-bound roots[,] I'd stand my ground.
If I could be a willow tree,
my ribbons green would wave so proud, (suggest ‘flutter’ as alternative to ‘wave so’)
as one with nature; yet still free. (suggest ‘soaring’ as alternative to ‘yet still’)

The storms could rage and winds might blow, (here you could make this stronger by replacing ‘the’ and ‘and’. Perhaps you could say, ‘stern storms’ or ‘fierce storms’ could rage, ‘rapt’ winds might blow,)
a blizzard fall, or sun sans rain;
if I were but a willow tree,
I'd have no reason to complain.

My limbs would waver in the wind,
I'd bend and sway, it might hurt me; suggest ‘harm’ as alternative to ‘hurt’)
from broken vow I would not break,
if I were but a willow tree.

One question Cathy – does the Quatern allow for slight variations on the refrain? I’m not certain; however I do like your variations. If the form requires the exact refrain, I fancy ‘If I were but a willow tree’.






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Posts in this topic
- Cathy   Resilience ~ Revised 8/20/07   Nov 24 05, 08:51
- - Maxim   Hi Cathy I wish I had a well-pool like you seem t...   Nov 24 05, 12:07
- - circumsolar   a graceful work with some striking imagery here, C...   Nov 24 05, 12:26
- - Nina   Hi Cathy I feel the sadness in this poem and the ...   Nov 24 05, 15:17
- - Merlin   Once again, a top-notch posting, Cathy.  I really ...   Nov 24 05, 22:41
- - Cathy   Hi Maxim, I wish I had a well-pool like you seem ...   Nov 24 05, 23:39
- - Cathy   Hi circumsolar, a graceful work with some strikin...   Nov 24 05, 23:43
- - Cathy   Hi Nina, I feel the sadness in this poem and the ...   Nov 24 05, 23:47
- - Cathy   Hi Merlin, Once again, a top-notch posting, Cathy...   Nov 24 05, 23:51
- - circumsolar   Quatern, Latin for “four at a time,” is a 16-line ...   Nov 25 05, 10:56
- - Cathy   Hi circumsolar, Hi Cathy! thanks for posting ...   Nov 25 05, 13:01
- - Cathy   Hi Lori, I am enjoying your Quaterns and am glad ...   Nov 28 05, 08:22
- - MFK_Buckley   Hi Cathy, I'm a newbie here. I have thoroughly...   Nov 29 05, 00:42
- - Cathy   Hi Frances, Welcome to MM! QUOTE Hi Cathy, I...   Nov 29 05, 08:05
- - Cathy   Dusting and polishing~ Any and all comments welco...   Aug 16 07, 07:15
- - AMETHYST   Hi Cathy, First, I have nominated this for IBPC ...   Aug 16 07, 08:38
|- - Cathy   QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Aug 16 07, 09:38 ) 1009...   Aug 17 07, 07:32
- - Nada Lott   Having another go at it, huh Cathy? I think there...   Aug 17 07, 11:13
|- - Cathy   QUOTE (Nada Lott @ Aug 17 07, 12:13 ) 101...   Aug 19 07, 09:12
- - Terocon101   Hi Cathy, Just popping in to say how much I love ...   Aug 17 07, 12:16
|- - Cathy   QUOTE (Terocon101 @ Aug 17 07, 13:16 ) 10...   Aug 19 07, 09:14
- - Cathy   Yet another revision posted~ Thanks for the ideas...   Aug 20 07, 08:10
- - Aggiel   Cathy, Just check in to say, this is lovely poem ...   Aug 30 07, 15:25
- - Cathy   Thank you Aggie! I think those are my favorit...   Sep 4 07, 06:55

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