A Visit, ballade metre with internal rhyme Options

[jgdittier]

A point of light, the jets fire bright,     change fire to flare
we sail the universe.
Those lights we see- our galaxy!        change those lights to the glow
In zillion stars, immersed.

On our return, our "world" will learn
of lesser life in space.
Our visit took a second look.
They are a different race.

The life we met had no flight yet,*
They chose to stare in awe.
When our ship docked, they all flocked, change they all to a huge crowd
entranced by all they saw.
*intergalactic

Their age was stone and that alone
was used when time to build.
We taught them math, the stellar path;
for we are wise and skilled.

They bowed to us and made such fuss    keeping the u sound
as though we were divine.
I'll not deny, was with a sigh,
but their thought, never mine.

We do not know how much they'll "grow".
We saw them near to birth.
I'll no more roam, I'm headed home.
"Goodbye" to planet Earth.

[JustDaniel]

Hey, Ron...

I apologize for not getting even to your previous ballad yet.  I've either  been running around in all directions or lying flat on my back often in the past few weeks.  

This is an excellent, imaginitive ballad [ note the distinction between this and a Ballade, a significantly different beastie! ]

I was quite clear on where this was going, having read Von Daniken's fiction posing as research... but your piece is VERY cleverly done.

Here are some perspective and editorial type thoughts I'll merely show you, simply from my limited vantage point... and for you to take or toss:

A point of light, the jets fire bright,
we sail the universe.
Those lights we see- our galaxy!
In zillion stars, immersed.

[ I agree with Liz's take on the first stanza completely. ]

On our return, our "world" will learn
of lesser life in space.
Our visit took a second look(.)[;]
they are a different race.

The life we met had no flight had no wings yet(,)[;]*
they chose to stare in awe.
When our ship docked, they all a great crowd flocked,
entranced by all they saw.
*intergalactic

Their age was Stone[,] and that alone
was used when time to they would build.
We taught them math, the stellar path([,]
for we are wise and skilled.

They bowed to us [--] and made such what a fuss [--]
as though we were divine(.)[!]
I'll not deny, 'twas with a sigh(,)[...]
but their thought, never mine.

We do not know how much they'll "grow".
We saw them nearing to birth.
I'll no more roam(,)[;] I'm headed home.
"Goodbye" to planet Earth.

Always appreciating your Light, Daniel