NORTH-WEST PASSAGE, Choice Award Options

[Cybele]

Member Choice Award Winner

*Graphic provided by
Celtic Castle Designs

REVISION (With thanks to Nina)

NORTH WEST PASSAGE

Interrupted moonbeams
dance on icebergs
and trail their milk-white
fingers in icy sea,
accompanying emerald
rhythms of the Borealis.

The blue-white stage
emits a ghostly hue,
evanescent and lambent
by turns. In the vast silence,
glaciers tower like cathedrals
in the midnight sky.

Aboard The Erebus,
an old salt, inured to the show;
stamps his feet,
breathes warmth
into his calloused hands
and dreams of hot tea,
unwitting of his fate.


North-West Passage


Interrupted moonbeams
dance on icebergs
and trail their milk-white
fingers in icy sea,
accompanying emerald
rhythms of the Borealis.

The blue-white stage
emits a ghostly hue,
evanescent and lambent
by turns. In the vast silence
glaciers tower like cathedrals
in the midnight sky.

Aboard The Erebus,
an old salt, inured to the show;
unwitting of his fate,
stamps his feet,
breathes warmth
into his calloused hands
and dreams of hot tea.

(All rights reserved by Grace Galton as an unpublished work.)

Link below for information on John Franklin’s ill-fated expedition to find the North-West Passage.

http://www.mta.ca/faculty....in.html

[Cybele]

Good morning Lori,

 

I've enjoyed this one very much!

One teensy suggestion in your very imaginitive opening:

Interrupted moonbeams
dance on icebergs
and trail their milk-white
fingers in icy sea,
accompanying emerald
rhythms of the Borealis.

It's the placement of the word 'and' at the beginning of the new line - I was trying to think of an alternative and came up with:

Interrupted moonbeams
dance on icebergs
streaming (or imprinting) their milk-white
fingers in icy sea,
accompanying emerald
rhythms of the Borealis.

Just a thought for you to ponder....

Yes, that line bothered me Lori. I didn't want to use 'and' because it is a little weak, but the problem is that they dance on icebergs and the sea, sliding from one to another with the movement of clouds and the changing position of the moon as it travels across the sky. I like imprinting, but how to use it.

dance on icebergs
imprinting their milk-white
fingers in icy sea

just doesn't work. They can't imprint on water;

perhaps

dance on icebergs,
trailing milk-white
fingers in icy sea.

(This image came to me from sitting in a rowing boat trailing my fingers in the water.)

Any more thoughts? I really want to lose that 'and'.

I can't see how to use streaming without reconstructing the whole sentence, but these are good thoughts. Any more, please let me know. Meanwhile I shall ponder...


A lovely image!

Thank you Lori.  This story has fascinated me ever since I read it and because of the very mystery surrounding it, I didn't want to give too much away in case someone wished to read it.