Our Grandchild Options

[Guest_Don_*]

---------------revised 19 February 2005 -----------------
This color denotes change

        Ethan Callahan

To friends and loves who would know us best.

For love of life, he is the first awake,
patters down the dark hall floor
and sits tranquil, for our sake,
before our bedroom door.

A glow to know he is warm and fed,
and growing into footprints highbred.


© 2005 by D.E. Holmes
19 February

------------------------original------------------

Our Grandchild

To friends and loves who would know us best.

For love of life, he is the first awake,
patters down the dark hall floor
to our unopened bedroom door,
and sits tranquil, for our sake.

A glow to know he is warm and fed,
and growing into footprints highbred.


© 2005 by D.E. Holmes
17 February

[Cybele]

Good morning Don,

A lovely tribute to your grandson.  Why not dedicate it to him, for posterity's sake. Ethan as a title would be much nicer.


For love of life, he is the first awake,
patters down the dark hall floor
to our unopened bedroom door,
and sits tranquil, for our sake.

A glow to know he is warm and fed,
and growing into footprints highbred

L3/4 Don, may I suggest you change these two around. You would then still have a rhyme scheme but ABAB instead of ABBA (Not the singers )

Your present line 3 would only need the first word altered to 'at'

Hence

For love of life, he is the first awake,
patters down the dark hall floor
and sits tranquil, for our sake
at our unopened bedroom door.

Ah, if only we had had our grandchildren before our children, what joy!