Voice in the Dark, a LogaRhyme Options

[JustDaniel]

Voice in the Dark

I’m feeling He’s abandoned me;
a spiral down won’t set me free...
I need to cling,
remembering, when I’ve no sight,
the things He’s shown me in the light...
in darkness, sing.

“How can you sing!” a voice may blare.
“It’s obvious He doesn’t care;
just face the facts.”
Amid the drone of dark despair,
a still, small Voice is always there;
on this I act.

God is near the broken-hearted,
hears before a prayer is started...
been there too...
near the one whose spirit’s crushed;
“I’ll never leave you.”  List now… hushed...
He cries with you.

© Daniel J Ricketts 03 Feb 2005
Psalm 34:18

[Cybele]

Hi Daniel,

[ I'm trying to 'admonish' the subject of the poem to LISTEN to what is in a hushed voice... the crying (for us).  Perhaps I should simply say "Hear" for "List"? ]

I understand what you are trying to say now Daniel, and I think you could easily overcome the problem by say

I’ll never leave you.”  Listen! Hush!
He cries with you.

(which wouldn't interfere with the meter and would convey the meaning very clearly. T or T Daniel.