THE FLAME, Sonnet for Ralph Options

[Cybele]

FIRST REVISION

THE FLAME


Between first meeting and our last goodbye,
are days in which I’ll tend my most true flame,
that it may neither sear your loving face with its
white heat, nor by neglect or my inconstancy
leave you cold. In love’s name
let my gentle fire live in your embrace.


Love is not love, that uncontrolled, consumes
its source of fuel with jealousy and greed,
nor unattended, chokes with noxious fumes
the loving heart on which it needs must feed.

So like the crucible, which holds the gold
protected from the furnace blast – I will,
with tender warmth, your treasured love enfold
until your need of me it quiet and still.

"All rights reserved by Grace Galton as an unpublished work."

[Cybele]

Good Morning Debs,

hi grace,

such a beautiful poem exuding such love and warmth.  i'm so glad to know that there is such a thing as true love lasting.

i only have a couple of punctuation questions with the last stanza:

Quote  
So like the crucible, which holds the gold
protected from the furnace blast – I will maybe a comma here
with tender warmth, your treasured love enfold
until your need of me it quieti think it needs to be plural here, so add an "s" here and stilland an "s" here.

Yes. your right about the comma Debs, there is definitely a small break there.

until you need of me is quiet and still.

The meaning of this phrase Debs, is until he no longer cares - or dies.
each being singular.




lovely poem, grace!

deb  

Thank you so much for taking time to drop in, I'm glad you like it. I really do appreciate your interest. To prove it Debs.....

Here have a fish He's a little blue so make sure the water is warm enough for him!  

Love

Grace