Short Story Exercise 5, Come visit here and comment! Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hello all!  

I for one am trying to learn HOW to SHOW a scene more than TELL a scene.

Why not help us all out and give an example here of exactly HOW one could do that?

Let's start with a few 'items' to write about and see what responses come to this thread?


There is a door (half-open) leading to ?? (WHERE)??
Choose a character name.

WHAT is this person doing?

Instead of:

She walked slowly to the door, half-opened, with light flickering beyond...

HOW would you describe this scene by SHOW rather than TELL?

Cheers!
~Cleo  

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hello everyone!  

YES - this certainly IS a good topic! We should continue this thread as a 'workshop' so we can all gain knowledge from each other - how cool!    

Chris & Fran - lovely additions of how to show the environs in your story!

Butch - I think you do a fine job with dialogue!

Lindi and I talked about this yesterday at work (before all these replies were made), and Lindi describes it to me as being able to leave a bit to the readers imagination in SHOWING. Yes - you can describe a scene, but leave some details to their imagination too.

In my original sentence above:
She walked slowly to the door, half-opened, with light flickering beyond...

This is not a dialogue, however, the reader could ask - why is the door half-opened, what is the light flickering beyond etc...

The dialogue next may or may not answer these questions:

Instead of writing the above, how about:

"What is that reddish-glow just beyond the door?" Linda asked herself. Ajar, the door creaked as she walked closer towards it.

I admire the writings of Dan Brown, Stephen King and Tom Clancy as they all seem to be able to utilize BOTH telling and showing so effectively.

How would YOU write the above (and feel free to add to this snippet)?

Cheers!
Cleo